The Zelda Characters go to School
by Crazy Chick
Summary: DID YOU GUYS REALLY GIVE UP ON ME ALREADY? This is the very last chapter, I mean it, but I'm making a sequel for all of you who read my story and still liked it...And for newbies who have never seen this, the Zelda gang are sent to school! the end :)
1. Just Getting Started

The Zelda Characters go to School  
  
by Crazy Chick  
  
A/N: I remember going to elementary, which wasn't too long ago. There are too many Zelda high school stories, so the Zelda characters go to elementary/junior high! Yeah, there is a lot of cussing in this story, and there's really this much in real life! Don't believe me? Screw you. Is anyone reading this? No? Thought so. (in a way, some of the characters play me and my friends. Weird huh?) Oh, this is 7 years ago. Get it? If you don't, try to.  
  
Disclaimer: I pay CC to get on here. If you think I own Zelda, screw yourself. Don't get mad people! I tried asking Miyamoto already! (actually I didn't, but u know that, don't u?)  
  
Impa: *sighs* OK, I'll try to be patient with you, Zelda. For the last time, what is 1+1=?  
  
Zelda: Duh! Its 11! [CC: THIS IS NOT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! On that happy note...]  
  
Impa: *groan* no. *yells* Mr. King, how much longer?  
  
King of Hyrule: Only ½ hour.  
  
Zelda: Oooh, I got it!  
  
Impa: Thank Din! What is it?  
  
Zelda: A window! Get it?  
  
Impa: Um........................Uh, yeah, I do. *unsure look* I swear, Hyrule and Termina need schools for stupid children such as these!  
  
King of Hyrule: What was that? A school? I like that idea! Terry, come here!  
  
Terry is the name of the postman, according to me. If you don't like it, I don't like you.  
  
Terry: *panting, as usual* Yes, Mr. King?  
  
King of Hyrule: Bring every responsible adult here for a meeting.  
  
Terry: Sure thing dude! [A/N: Dont ask. About Terry, anyway.] *runs off*  
  
Who knows how much longer later...  
  
Zelda: Crap, why are we waiting here?  
  
Impa: We're putting you in school.  
  
Zelda: NO! NO NO NO NONONONONONO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *fights Impa*  
  
Impa: Er...I'll put you in a class with Link!  
  
Zelda: I don't like Link anymore! Oh, here come people! I must act civilized!  
  
Impa: Oooo-kay.  
  
In comes Terry, Kafei, Anju, the Rosa Sisters, the Laboratory Dude, the adult sages, Terence (postman in MM), Guru-Guru (windmill man), Grogg (cucco dude), Mayor Dotour and other random people.  
  
Guru-Guru: Watch it go around in circles! Go around, go around!  
  
Kafei: *looks at tall people* Why do I feel like I don't fit in?  
  
King of Hyrule: So much for responsible adults. *sighs*  
  
Grogg: Dude, why are we here? I miss my cuccos!  
  
Cucco Lady (clone of Anju): Me too!  
  
King of Hyrule: Uh, we need a school for the stupid little bastar-I mean kids of Hyrule!  
  
Zelda/Kafei: Why do I feel like I don't belong here?  
  
Rauru: We'll need the subjects music, art and gym! *gets evil stares* I mean, music, art, gym, science, math, social studies, language arts and...music, art and gym! And options.  
  
King of Hyrule: I thought music and art were options!  
  
Rauru: Not anymore! :P  
  
King of Hyrule: Fine. Who will teach art?  
  
Rauru: Me! what, its fun!  
  
King of Hyrule: Who will teach music?  
  
Rauru: Me!  
  
Guru-Guru: Watch it go around in circles! Go around, go around!  
  
King of Hyrule: Rauru, you're teaching art. The job goes to Guru-Guru!  
  
Guru-Guru: Yay! Go around, go around!  
  
King of Hyrule: Who will teach gym?  
  
Terence: Well, I-  
  
Terry: *interrupts* I will! I must be physically fit! My cousin Terence will be my assistant!  
  
Terence: Well, I-  
  
King of Hyrule: OK! Terry and Terence will teach gym!  
  
Terence: Well, I-  
  
King of Hyrule: Shut up Terence.  
  
Terence: Well, I never! *glooms*  
  
King of Hyrule: Now, who will teach science?  
  
Lab Dude: I will! I love science!  
  
King of Hyrule: *sighs* who will teach math?  
  
Kafei: I think I can. I mean, it was my best subject!  
  
King of Hyrule: who will teach SS?  
  
Nabooru: I WILL! ME! ME! ME! *flaps arms like a little kid wanting to answer a question*  
  
King of Hyrule: Oh? Who will teach LA?  
  
Anju: I shall teach the children about cuccos, and how to spell cuccos! I will teach them blablabla...*finally finishes saying what she wants to teach*  
  
King of Hyrule: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...huh? Who will teach mus-I mean, RAURU!  
  
Rauru: Ehehehe. Huh? Argh! *chased by the King*  
  
King Zora: So childish. Lets see this *looks at sheet that puts down the teachers and their position* OK. *writes 'King Zora' in the place of Principal*  
  
King of Hyrule: *stops chasing Rauru, since both of them have terrible stamina* OK, then. Who will be the vice principal?  
  
Mayor Dotour: Me, obviously! I have more dignity than anyone here!  
  
King of Hyrule/King Zora: AHEM!  
  
Mayor Dotour: I mean, I have more dignity than everyone cept Mr. King! Screw off, you fishy slimy Zora freak.  
  
King of Hyrule: So, *I* will be the principal!  
  
Zelda: No daddy! It will be sooooooo embarrassing!  
  
King of Hyrule: No matter. King's Zora's name was there anyway...KING ZORA!  
  
Rosa Sisters/Impa: What'll we teach?  
  
King of Hyrule: The options! Smart? I know!  
  
Marilla (RS): I'll teach cosmetology!  
  
Judo (RS): No, I will!  
  
Impa: I'll do food studies!  
  
Zelda: *under breath* YESSSSS! Impa's offa my case now!  
  
Impa: Doesn't mean I'm off of your case though, Zelda.  
  
Zelda: Crap! Hey, I have an idea for a name! The Hyrule and Termina School!  
  
Everyone: NO!  
  
Zelda: *makes a bad attempt to look upset*  
  
Impa: Whatever, Zelda. I have an idea for a name! How about The Hyrule and Termina School?  
  
Everyone: OK!  
  
Zelda: Grrr...  
  
Marilla: I'll sign up everyone!  
  
Judo: No I will!  
  
So Marilla signs up people in Hyrule, and Judo does the same in Termina. Then "Mr. King" tells the architects, engineers and constructors to build the school in the middle of the dimension to Termina, which is in Hyrule Market Town! Why? No one cares, naturally! 


	2. The Day Before School

The Zelda Characters Go to School  
  
By Crazy Chick  
  
2. The Day Before School  
  
At School...  
  
Rauru: Art is the best subject ever! Just get my pens, pencils, paints and brushes, paper and newspaper, I'll be ready for tomorrow's lesson! I'm going to teach everyone how to do tinkertoy lettering! I know its easy, but I know you've never met anyone with the Rauru expertise!  
  
Fish in a fishbowl: O.o *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Guru-Guru: I will teach everyone how to use this gramaphone grinder thingie I wear on my back! Then the band will march through Kakariko and cause a riot! The rain will fall! I don't love the rain, but whatever! I even made up a song! *to the tune of Song of Storms* Song of Storms! Hear my plea! Please don't put some rain on me!  
  
Nabooru: *is passing by* Okaaaaaaaay, then. *quickly rushes to her own class* *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Anju: Those kids will learn their ABCs! Then I will teach them how to read books with cuccos in them! Then at the end of the year, they will be able to write the Great Hylian/Terminian Novel! No, the Great Cucco...Cuccodex! Try to top that, Kafei! *leaves classroom marching with a cucco following her* *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Kafei: I will teach those kids pre-algebra, then algebra, and if we get far enough, run through their calculus, and algebra 1 and 2! I'll be the first Terminian teacher who will teach algebra 3!  
  
Anju: *peeking in* EEPS! Cucco, help me! *cucco has long gone* *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Terry: Get those muscles working! They'll run laps, do crunches, push-ups, sit-ups, body builders and use dumbbells till they drop and die!  
  
Terence: Down doggie, down!  
  
Terry: Go chase your ass, Terence. :(  
  
Terence: Well, I- I mean OK! *starts trying to chase his ass*  
  
Terry: Speaking of dumbbells...  
  
Nabooru: *passing by* *under breath* Look who's talking. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Impa: Oooh, I've cooked together many things, and they have all been successes! How about a bomb and a baby Dodongo! *throws a baby dodongo and a bomb into the oven, and the oven blows up. Impa pulls out burned Dodongo particles* Oh, it worked! I have to call the King about the new discovery! *trys to call, but the line is busy* Zelda!!!!!!!!! Guess who's next in my oven...heh heh. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Nabooru: Ugh! I have cold chills! Anju is teaching their kids how to write the Great Cuccodex, Kafei is teaching the kids ALGEBRA 3 in the first week of school! Is there even such a thing? Terry and Terence are getting the kids built bodies like mine, Impa is making cooking discoveries and Rauru and Guru-Guru even have an idea of what to do! Oh, run-on! Oh yeah, I'm not the English teacher! I don't know one thing about social studies! Oh, how about to live a good social life and just screw this whole school idea? Ooh, social! *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Lab Dude: I love science! If I actually knew what it was, that would be terrific! I'll teach how to eat frog eyeballs and cure a pink eye! I will also teach how to write a graph! I must be a better teacher than the rest of those fools! *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Zelda: I'm ruined!  
  
Malon/Saria/Ruto: Why?  
  
Zelda: I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR! Impa's teaching food studies and daddy made me go and Impa threatened to cook me. What are you guys wearing!  
  
Malon: Uh...I was wearing a miniskirt, midriff and REALLY HIGH high heels!  
  
Saria: Your dad let you?  
  
Malon: Of course not! He wanted me to wear old hand-me-down overalls that still stink of horse shit!  
  
Zelda: Eww!  
  
Saria: Well, I'm wearing my plain green shirt, shorts and Kokiri boots.  
  
Ruto: That is sooooooooooo lame, Saria! Totally out!  
  
Zelda: How would you know? Well, your clothes are out, but how would Ruto know that? She won't even wear clothes tomorrow!  
  
Ruto: I will too! I borrowed my famous cousin's famous dress! Its a little big, though.  
  
Zelda: Do I know your cousin?  
  
Ruto: You bet! She's Lulu Indigo! And she's having a concert in the gym tomorrow!  
  
Zelda/Saria/Malon: Sah-weet!  
  
Impa: So, these two FINE *heh heh* ladies would like to know who's coming to our school!  
  
End of Chapter  
  
CC: I must say, I'm ashamed of that chapter. Well, not really, I'm just disappointed in its drabness. 


	3. The List of Students

3. The List of Students  
  
[CC: This isn't really a chapter]  
  
Judo and Marilla dance in, holding clipboards.  
  
Judo: Lets see here...Ruto, Zelda, Malon and Saria! Put that down, Marilla!  
  
Marilla: *writes the list of people. The list is near the end of the chapter*  
  
Impa: Zelda, remind me to fry you...I mean try you tomorrow in cooking!  
  
Zelda: EEPS! *shudders* try you tomorrow???  
  
Marilla and Judo leave with their clipboards. They run to the Forest.  
  
Judo: Kiddies! Who here is going to our school?  
  
A bunch of Kokiri Kids: MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!  
  
Judo: Write that down, Marilla.  
  
Marilla: *writes. Her list is at the bottom...*  
  
Kokiri Shopkeeper kid: What about meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee? I'm not on the list!  
  
Judo and Marilla leave with their clipboards. They go to the Hyrule Market Town.  
  
Judo: Who here is going to our school?  
  
The Little Girl Who Chases The Cucco: Me!  
  
Judo: What's your name?  
  
TLGWCTC: If you really need to know, scary lady, its Suze Ann Orphan. [CC: Sue's an orphan. Cheezzzzzzy, hah?]  
  
Judo: Write that down, Marilla.  
  
Marilla: *writes. The list is at the bottom, but she write's Suze's name like this:*  
  
If you really need to know scary lady its Sue's an orphan and a Spoiled Dumbass  
  
Judo: What the hell is your problem, Marilla? Fix that, now!  
  
Marilla: Fine. *fixes list*  
  
Judo: If you really need to know, Marilla, its time to go.  
  
Judo and Marilla leave with their clipboards. They go to Kakariko Village.  
  
Judo: Who here is going to our school?  
  
Clone of Jim from Termina: Me!  
  
Judo: What's your name?  
  
COJFT: DAMPE! I'm kidding. Its Tim Bomber.  
  
Judo: Write that down, Marilla.  
  
[CC: Just so you know, Marilla screwed up the name again, but I'm too lazy to write it and you're too lazy to read it]  
  
Judo: Done? Now we can leave.  
  
Judo and Marilla leave with their clipboards. They go to Termina's Swamp because there are no more important kids in Hyrule.  
  
Judo: Any kids here going to our school?  
  
The Deku Princess: Me! My name is Dekurina Isatree!  
  
Judo: Write that down PROPERLY Marilla.  
  
Marilla: *writes. List at bottom*  
  
Judo: Thats it? Time to go.  
  
Judo and Marilla leave with their clipboards. They go to Snowhead Valley, but leave because the Elder's Son is underage. They go to the Great Bay Coast but Lulu's babies were underage. They go to Ikana Canyon and check anyway.  
  
Judo: Any kids here going to our school?  
  
Pamela: Um...I am.  
  
Judo: What's your name?  
  
Pamela: Pamela Anderson [CC: LOL. Sorry, I can be stupid when I want to be :P]  
  
Judo: WOAH! Pam! Really? Nah. You're too young. Write that down, Marilla.  
  
Marilla: *writes. Is it really nessesary to say this?*  
  
Judo and Marilla leave with their clipboards. They go to Clock Town.  
  
Judo: Any kids here joining our school?  
  
The Bombers/Skull Kid: We are. (  
  
Skull Kid: AND PLEASE DON'T CALL ME A FREAKIN DUCK!  
  
Judo: Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay. By the way Skull Dude, you're so loud, I can't tell what you're saying. Please write them down properly, Marilla.  
  
Marilla: *writes. She writes Skull Kid:*  
  
Skull Kid the Mischief Maker Duck :P  
  
Judo and Marilla leave with their clipboards. They go to Romani Ranch.  
  
Judo: Anyone here going to our school?  
  
Romani: Yep! I am, pardner. :P  
  
Judo: Marilla, write that down.  
  
Marilla: I am getting a very bad cramp...*writes...never mind*  
  
Judo: Time to go! Marilla, I get dibs on cosmetology!  
  
Marilla: Then I'll do fashion studies!  
  
Judo and Marilla leave without their clipboards. :P They head back to the school.  
  
Marilla: *pant pant* We've got quite a list!  
  
King of Hyrule: Perfect. Guess what? I don't have to be the principal! I'll be the superintendent!  
  
Marilla: Good for you. Here's the list *searches for clipboard* Where's my clipboard?  
  
Judo: Search me!  
  
Marilla: OK! Just open your mouth, and I'll do as best I can.  
  
King of Hyrule: *rolls eyes* don't you remember?  
  
Marilla: Oh yeah! *writes the list again*  
  
Her list looks like:  
  
Ruto Zora the Bald Ugly Fish  
  
Zelda Starr the Blonde Princess  
  
Malon Master the Redheaded Farm girl  
  
Saria Greenfield the Green headed Kokiri kid  
  
Fado Kokiri the Small Blonde Flirt  
  
Mido Theloser the Bratty Selfish Brunette Loser  
  
Link Timehero the Blonde Heartthrob  
  
Rayla Kokiri the Brunette twin  
  
Layla Kokiri the Other Brunette twin  
  
Dodo KnowItAll the Know-it-all  
  
Sodo KnowItAll the 2nd Know-it-all  
  
Tido KnowItAll the 3rd Know-it-all  
  
Suze Ann Orphan and a Spoiled Dumbass  
  
Tim Bomber the 'Clone' of Jim Bomber  
  
Dekurina Isatree the Treelike Deku  
  
Pamela Anderson the Younger One  
  
Jim Bomber the 'Clone' of Tim Bomber  
  
Jerry Bomber the 2nd Bomber  
  
Joel Bomber the 3rd Bomber  
  
Justin Bomber the 4th Bomber  
  
Joshua Bomber the 5th Bomber  
  
Skull Kid the Mischief Maker Duck :P  
  
Romani Ranch the 'Clone' of Malon Master  
  
**********  
  
King of Hyrule: Just the right amount! I can't wait for school tomorrow! Can you Zelda?  
  
Zelda: no I cant. I'm ecstatic.  
  
King of Hyrule: Glad to hear it! Bye honey!  
  
Zelda: Doesn't he know sarcasm when he hears it?  
  
Impa: Heh heh...I gotta do a bit of cooking and test out those cooked kids...I mean Dodongos.  
  
Zelda: Ulp...  
  
END OF CHAPTER  
  
CC: How bad was that? Reviews! I need them! Well, I'm getting the school part up next, or sort of! Yay! 


	4. Before the Second Bell

4. Before the Second Bell  
  
Zelda: *wakes up at 6:00 AM* OMG, I am shaking. I don't want to be fried.  
  
Impa: Ready?  
  
Zelda: ARGH! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
Impa: Idiot. Ready to go to school? I'm giving you a lift!  
  
Zelda: I'll look like a total loser! Of course not! The walk isn't very far. And of course I'm not ready! I just woke up early!  
  
Impa: W-ell...back in my day, things were different...  
  
Zelda: Well, life was different a millenium ago.  
  
Impa: Wanna say that to my face?  
  
Zelda: Um no...I bought a killer wardrobe yesterday at Honey's! Well, not killer but presentable. For once I'll fit in and not wear that gay headdress. Please go away Impa. I have to change. *Zelda finally changes*  
  
Impa: No way you're going out looking like that! You'll look like a slut!  
  
Zelda: FINE THEN! Hmph!  
  
Impa leaves. Zelda changes into a tight T and a short skirt. After eating breakfast and more preparing, it is time to head for the school.  
  
Impa: But its half an hour early! Thats the time I have to leave! Why?  
  
Zelda: Me and my friends are all walking together! We live in different parts of Hyrule and half an hour is when I have to leave! Poor Saria had to leave around the time I woke up! Malon is leaving now too. Bye Impa!  
  
Impa: Heh heh...bye, my little crisp-I mean chip. Tongue-tied day, understand?  
  
Zelda: Your little crisp?  
  
Impa: CHIP! Well, you wouldn't understand.  
  
Zelda: I think I'm starting to. *gulps*  
  
Impa: Good girl. Have fun while you can!  
  
Zelda goes out by the path, where Saria just reached. Malon also reaches the path.  
  
Zelda: Ready for school?  
  
Malon: Ready to get fried?  
  
Zelda: SHUT UP!  
  
Malon: Cool outfit.  
  
Zelda: Same to you.  
  
Saria: What about me?  
  
Malon: Good! Its still green, but better.  
  
Saria: COOL!  
  
Ruto comes along to bug them. She's wearing Lulu's dress for real. They all walk toward the school, where a bunch of kids are playing around. The school actually looked good. Well, the side facing everyone was. The other side was spray-painted by Link, the Bombers and Skull Kid.  
  
Saria: The wind is a little strong. I'm cold. Lets go inside and get prepared. *the 4 girls go in.*  
  
Zelda: Here's my locker! #21!  
  
Saria: By the cooking class! Hehe.  
  
Zelda: Hey. This isn't my number! It's #12 on the other side of the school! *whew*  
  
Saria: Cool, I have #14!  
  
Malon: I have #13! Yay!  
  
Ruto: I have #10! No, I don't...Wrong sheet! *hands her sheet to Joshua Bomber, who's looking for a lost sheet* my locker is...#21. Damn!  
  
Impa: *preheating oven* MMMMM, how I love fish! *appears to look at Ruto from the corner of her eye*  
  
Ruto: EEPS!  
  
Zelda: At least Ruto wasn't #10! I wonder who is? And who #11 is. They're beside me!  
  
Saria: Why do you care? I mean, you have us!  
  
Malon: Saria, you are sooooooooooo naïve. I mean, you'll be 10 forever! You won't understand. As for me and Zelda, we're getting older.  
  
Zelda: I hope its a hot guy!  
  
Malon: Me too! *giggles with Zelda*  
  
Saria: I don't get it. Really, I don't. Guys are icky. They have cooties!  
  
Malon: *giggles* Don't mind that crazy girl.  
  
Saria: Grrrrrrrrrrrr...  
  
*Joshua Bomber goes to #10. He doesnt look short and weird and...like a Bomber. But he still wears a cap*  
  
Saria: Ha ha! So much for a hot guy!  
  
Joshua: *glares*  
  
*Link Timehero goes to #11. He doesn't have on his "dress" (tunic) but he's wearing a cap*  
  
Link: *talking to Joshua* Hey Josh! Hey, you look older, not like your friends, the Bombers!  
  
Joshua: I left those Bombers. That club is so gay. I mean, you have to dress up like some little bald kid and dress the same and look the same and HELP PEOPLE! Only Jim is wearing his Bomber outfit. :P  
  
Link: Ha, good for him. His nose makes him look like a pig, doesn't it?  
  
Joshua: Yeah. I thought you hated the Bombers, even though you are a former bomber. Why are you talking to me?  
  
Link: You're not a Bomber anymore. Did you hear about that rumor of Zelda getting cooked? I joined cooking just for that.  
  
Joshua: Me too. Personally I don't like it but...Zelda getting cooked? Ha!  
  
Link/Joshua: *look to right* Uh oh.  
  
Zelda: Why should I care? I did hear, but that's OK. I wonder if Impa will try to cook me. There will be plenty of witnesses.  
  
Saria: Why are you talking to them? They're icky boys!  
  
Malon: Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuure.  
  
Zelda: *whispers* They're a little crazy.  
  
Link/Joshua: I noticed.  
  
*first bell rings*  
  
King Zora (Principal Zora): Mr. Timehero, take your hat off. You too Mr. Bomber. Ah, whatever. This last name thing sucks. There are like 6 more bombers here in this school!  
  
Joshua: 5.  
  
King Zora: Whatever. Speed it up kids. *continues walking down hall* Hello Link, Joshua, Zelda, Malon, Saria, Dekurina..................  
  
Zelda: According to my schedule, I go to English class with Mrs. Anju Dotour. Hey, if we all had schedules, there would be 3 people per class, approximately.  
  
Saria: I think everyone's homeroom is English. What a screwed-up school.  
  
Malon: Look at that Dekalina Woodtree girl sitting there like a loner *snicker*  
  
Saria: Its actually Dekurina Isatree.  
  
Zelda: I'll say. *laughs with Malon*  
  
Saria: *looks offended*  
  
Malon: Cool off, Saria. If you want to be her friend, go. Me and Zelda can go on without you. You sure?  
  
Saria: I guess so. Goodbye, my friends.  
  
Zelda: Why is this so sad seeming?  
  
Mayor Dotour, or Vice Principal Dotour: I'll say. You only have 1 more minute until your first period.  
  
Zelda: Really! Oh no! *grabs all her books and runs to English class with Malon. Saria walks with Dekurina. Link and Joshua left a long time ago.*  
  
CC: How was it? We didn't actually get to where school really starts, but whatever. That crap can be boring. 


	5. The Trashy School

5. The Trashy School  
  
Zelda: Sooooooooooooooo...homeroom is with Anju? What's up with this stupid school?  
  
Malon: Hey, I'm also going with Anju! *looks inside class* So are Saria and Dekalina or whatever. :(  
  
Link: That's cuz everyone is going to the same classes at the same time.  
  
Zelda: This school sucks. *goes inside* Ugh! We have to sit on tree trunks and write on pieces of bark...No wonder those guys spray-painted the school.  
  
Saria: *to Dekurina* I hope that Kakariko catches on fire and burns down the whole school!  
  
Dekurina: You might, but I prefer to be educated in a nice, er...economical school.  
  
Link: But Kakariko does get set on fire a few years later. *recieves a bunch of weird looks*  
  
Mayor Dotour: *runs in* Oh no! There's a fire in the school!  
  
No one even flinches.  
  
Anju: Cantcha hear da fire alarm? Wait, the carps didn't even put in a fire alarm. I tink I drunk a bit too much booze wit Kafei...oops.  
  
The door catches fire and fire starts to burn the, um, classroom.  
  
Anju: Everyone evacuate in single file and a cautious manner. Proceed!  
  
The class has long run out the room. Even the mayor ran.  
  
Anju: Um...go home, kids! *is surrounded by fire* Um...what to do... *grabs her secret stash of what she thinks is Evian water* Shoo! Shoo! *its actually alcohol, causing the fire to get bigger* Kafei, save meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!  
  
MEANWHILE, AT THE CASTLE...  
  
Zelda: Guess what dad! The school caught on fire and burst into flames. I can't believe you made a school out of bark!  
  
King of Hyrule: not only bark, but tree stumps too!  
  
Zelda: Come on! We're rich, we don't need to be rupee-pinchers.  
  
King of Hyrule: HOW DARE YOU CALL ME A RUPEE-PINCHER! THE SCHOOL IS GOING TO BE MADE OF GOLD!  
  
Zelda: Suuuuuuuuuuuure...  
  
King of Hyrule: Fine, then. But it'll take a week.  
  
Zelda: A whole week?  
  
King of Hyrule: Then I'll hire more carpenters who can make it in a day!  
  
Zelda: No, don't! At least a month...?  
  
King of Hyrule: No, you've sold me. It'll take a day. Or maybe two.  
  
Impa: *walks in, looking at what appears to be a script* Your...client has called.  
  
Zelda: Dad has a client?  
  
King of Hyrule: Um...*turns red and turns to another script* Yeah, I do.  
  
Impa: I'll never forget! I wish I could have had that cooking class today...  
  
Zelda: Damn.  
  
End of Chapter.  
  
Short and stupid. But I needed more time, and I didn't want to get rid of the first day of school. So I made a fire, and soon you will get the second, or should I say first day of school. You guys needed another part, anyway. 


	6. The REAL Before the First Day of School

6. The REAL Before the First Day of School  
  
A/N: I improved this chapter so people can read it, but it still might not be great. I don't like flames.  
  
Sorry Saria fans. I do like Saria, I just have to make her act weird, or kind of like a 10-year old. I guess I can change her later on, and Ruto can take over her role...heh heh.  
  
Disclaimer: Is this really nessesary?  
  
King of Hyrule: Good morning Zelda! This school will not burn down!  
  
Zelda: They said the Titanic wouldn't sink.  
  
King of Hyrule: So what...the Titanic? Is this one of your future prophecies again? Its only the...uh...14th century, last I checked.  
  
Zelda: Well, I have to wake up early again. And do I have life insurance?  
  
King of Hyrule: Um...why?  
  
Zelda: Cuz Impa's gonna kill me.  
  
Impa: *sharpening her knife with another one while crossing her fingers* No I'm not.  
  
King of Hyrule: You never know what a person with that kind of eye make-up will do to you. *picks up a priceless vase he was going to sell in exchange for the gold for a school*  
  
Zelda: Eye make-up? It looks more like she has a black eye.  
  
Impa: Shut up you little--child. *flashes a sweet smile* Sorry, I meant to say hush up. *starts muttering profanities*  
  
Zelda: OH NO! SOMETHING JUST HIT ME!  
  
King of Hyrule: *drops vase and runs over to Zelda* Are you OK, little dearest? Are you in pain?  
  
Zelda: No, I mean I just found out that I cannot wear the same thing I did yesterday! I'll look cheap!  
  
King of Hyrule: I--*starts sobbing* I-I...dropped the vase...  
  
Zelda: Um...I'm going shopping. Bye! *takes her Termina credit card and heads to Honey's*  
  
Zelda: *running around* What to buy...what to buy...  
  
Malon: *comes in door and spots Zelda* Hi Zelda! I'm going shopping!  
  
Zelda: Where did you get the money to come shopping for designer clothes?  
  
Malon: Well, don't tell daddy...*whispers* I found out that he is the richest man in the world besides your dad and I also found his only credit card. He's rich but stupid. The card has billions of dollars in their and I found out his pin number! He kept saying it in his sleep and it works!  
  
Zelda: Wow! I'm using my allowance, which is really big! Poor Saria...and poor Dekalina. She has to wear old leaves!  
  
Malon: Guess what? I'm having a big party the weekend after school starts and I'm inviting you! Should I invite Saria?  
  
Zelda: If her strange behavior doesn't improve then no. But...how exactly do you have a big party at a small ranch crowded with horses and cows?  
  
Malon: I also found one of Talon's big mansions near your house and we could go there!  
  
Saria: *walks in with Dekurina Isatree*  
  
Malon: Quick! Hide! *hides in a corner with Zelda behind a clothes rack*  
  
Saria: Dekurina, I decided to come here since no one would be at a designer store. Well, maybe Zelda but her wardrobe is HUGE!  
  
Zelda: Apparently she doesn't know that Impa gave away lots of my stuff to sell. Grrr...  
  
Saria: Anyway, I'm having my birthday party at Kokiri forest! I'm inviting you and the know-it-alls and the brunette twins and Mido! He is so dang gorgeous!  
  
Zelda/Malon: *snicker*  
  
Dekurina: How about we go to the lost woods and we play...  
  
Dekurina/Saria: HIDE AND SEEK!  
  
Saria: We'll eat cake that has so much chocolate we'll feel sick!  
  
Dekurina: And play with our dolls!  
  
Saria: And...uh...eat chocolatey cake! So, I feel like I'm forgetting someone...I have invited Malon and Zelda to all my birthday parties, but they've been acting like cooly girls lately. *gags* But I don't know if I should invite Link. He's been different too, and plus...*whispers to Dekurina* I think I like him.  
  
Zelda: *whispers* You and the rest of the world.  
  
Dekurina: Aren't you a little...uh...I dunno...scared? Don't you think guys are...grosser than a cake that's not completely smothered in choco icing? Grosser than bugs? Grosser than moldy leaves?  
  
Saria: I know that...maybe its cuz Link's my friend so he just stands out from the crowd. Besides, Mido's much more superior.  
  
Dekurina: Look! They're selling Diva Star masks at the Happy Mask Shop! *Dekurina and Saria run out of the store, giggling*  
  
Malon: *comes out from behind the rack* That was weird...*looks out window* Oh no! Daddy's in the market square and I think he's heading for this shop next! He's looking for me!  
  
Zelda: Well, I know a secret passage behind this store. I designed them. Hurry! *Zelda touches a few portraits on the wall and moves another to one side, revealing a door that unlocks. Zelda and Malon rush in just as Talon squeezes in through the door*  
  
Malon: It's dark in here!  
  
Zelda: Don't worry. This leads to another designer store in Kakariko. *finally get out* See? We could shop here instead.  
  
Malon: Yeah. *takes a look at her arm, which has lots of clothes hanging from it* I think I shoplifted.  
  
Zelda: I think you can purchase it at this store. Don't worry. *Zelda and Malon buy their clothes and leave. Impa bumps into them*  
  
Impa: Zelda! I've been looking for ya. You forgot your headdress.  
  
Zelda: Uh...thanks...Where were you going, anyway?  
  
Impa: Oh, just needed to pick up some really big barbecues and other stuff at the food shop...*smirks evilly*  
  
Zelda: Oh, its already turning to dusk. I think I should head home. Bye Malon.  
  
Malon: Bye Zelda.  
  
Impa: Good bye, my little chip-I mean crisp-I mean chip.  
  
Zelda: *pretends she doesn't care, but runs home after she's out of sight*  
  
End of Chapter  
  
CC: Uh...hello. I feel like writing more, now that I'm getting in the school mood. Not much time left. :( 


	7. The REAL First Day

7. The REAL first Day  
  
A/N: This chapter's longer than the others, I think. And just so you know, guys might not like this story a total lot, since (as I think you know) I am a girl, and I write things girls write. But it might be good for a laugh. Malon has a little sister in this story. School's started. Wow. And its really boring. Bye. (don't skip)  
  
Disclaimer: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...  
  
Zelda: *wakes up* I'm so tired, I don't wanna get out of bed. *gets out anyway, and sleepily heads to the kitchen*  
  
Impa: *starts up stove* MMMMMMMM, I just had a great recipe name, and the king will never realize its his dau-hi my little...chip. *puts a pot on top of the stove* I said nothing.  
  
Zelda: Uh...bye. *a sudden jolt of energy makes her rush into her clothes and run outside* BYEIMPAGOTTARUN! *knocks down the drawbridge that hasn't been lowered yet, goes to meet Malon in Hyrule Field*  
  
Impa: I said nothing...  
  
At the field, Malon is already waiting.  
  
Malon: I heard your scream, Zelda. So I knew you would be running here because Impa started to preheat the oven and you would leave in fright and wait here extremely bored.  
  
Zelda: Close enough...  
  
Saria: *walks up* Uh, hi guys...Am I still aloud to walk with you guys?  
  
Malon: Um...I guess...until Dekuline gets here on bus...or Deku plane...  
  
Saria: Its DEKURINA. Get it straight. *all walk in silence until they get close to the...broken drawbridge Zelda knocked down* Look, its the Termina Transit bus!  
  
Dekurina: Hi Saria! *gives a brief, but cold as ice glare at Zelda and Malon* The Deku Plane wouldn't start, so I took a public bus. Can you believe I would stoop so low?  
  
Saria: Really?  
  
Zelda: Come on, Malon. We're near the castle.  
  
Malon: I got busted yesterday, with the money and stuff, but dad doesn't know about the mansion yet. So, I'm gonna keep this party kinda low-key. I'll invite my closest buds for a sleepover!  
  
Zelda: Does that mean Saria?  
  
Malon: I'll think about it. To tell you the truth, I'm actually not very excited. But I want to celebrate my double-digits with my closest friends!  
  
Zelda: Sounds good. Lets go. *reach the school*  
  
Malon: Lets see which class I'm in...oh, I'm in 5-4!  
  
Zelda: I also got into 5-4! Saria got into 5-4 as well, but Dekurina is in 5-3. They made more classes...but this is only for homeroom, we'll go to every other class at the same time.  
  
Zelda: *goes inside with Malon* Woah, the school really is gold! It says we have to meet in the auditorium for a speech by the principal King Zora :( *everyone heads to the auditorium*  
  
King Zora: *starts speech* Welcome Zoras...and others. I would like to introduce you to the Zora's Domain school-I mean the Hyrule and Termina school. Ruto, you will have the best teacher, a great education, and will be able to hook up with any guy...uh, that goes for everyone else...*continues droning on about Ruto and the Zoras*  
  
Everyone besides King Zora and Ruto: x_x ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ *in other words, sleeping*  
  
King Zora: Um...tryouts for the swimteam later on in the week. Come for the meeting today. Everyone head to their homeroom.  
  
Everyone: *wakes up and runs to class*  
  
HOMEROOM--In class 5-4...  
  
Malon: *bumps into Romani* Oops...woah.  
  
Romani: Woah.  
  
Malon: You look just like me.  
  
Romani: you look just like me too.  
  
Zelda: Creepy!  
  
Marilla: AHEMMMMMMMMM! Hello, students! The good news is, me and Judo are your homeroom teachers!  
  
Everyone: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
Judo: The bad news is you will never be in the homeroom again, making homeroom totally pointless.  
  
Everyone: YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Marilla: *hisses to Judo* If it weren't for you and all your fashion faux- pas, we'd teach cosmetology!  
  
Judo: *whispers back* The goddesses aren't perfect, either...  
  
Marilla: That's clear, cuz the only faux-pas they made was creating you! *Judo and Marilla continue to argue*  
  
Judo: *after lots of arguing* about those things you said, should I remind you that you're my TWIN SISTER! What is wrong with you? I'm like your duplicate!  
  
Marilla: Hi class...that stupid King Zora made school start on Friday! Tomorrow's the weekend...*a bell rings*  
  
Judo: um...see you tomorrow...  
  
Zelda: They didn't give us our lockers, timetables or agendas!  
  
King Zora: *over intercom* Uh...Rauru rang the bell as a prank. You still have ten minutes. And everyone go to the locker number they had in the old school.  
  
Judo: You's are allowed to swap lockers if you want to...  
  
Marilla: No you're not! *the sisters continue to argue*  
  
Zelda: *gets out of her seat and hands out agendas and timetables, then the bell rings*  
  
King Zora: *intercom* That is the real bell. Bye*  
  
*everyone leaves while Marilla and Judo still argue*  
  
PERIOD 1-Social Studies  
  
Malon: Woah.  
  
Romani: Woah.  
  
Zelda/Saria/Dekurina: Creepy!  
  
Nabooru: Hi children! Since I have no idea what SS is, I decided to teach you how to have a good social life. First of all, at this school...shut up boys!  
  
Link: Uh, we didn't say anything.  
  
Nabooru: Shut up anyway! At this school we...shut up boys!  
  
Joshua: uh, we didn't say anything.  
  
Nabooru: Shut up anyway! At this school we have...shut up boys!  
  
Mido: uh, we didn't say anything.  
  
Nabooru: Shut up anyway!  
  
King Zora: *intercom* Stop telling the kids to shut up!  
  
Nabooru: You too, fatty!  
  
King Zora: *intercom* I've never been so insulted! *thinks he turns it off* I guess I should wait a while before I want to ask her out...  
  
Nabooru: Ugh...anyway, shut up! At this school we have dances.  
  
Boys: *absolute pandemonium*  
  
Nabooru: Shut up you little f-  
  
Pamela: We're in 5th grade, or at least most of us are, unlike me. We'll have to kick you out if you do.  
  
Nabooru: ShUt Up PeOpLe!  
  
Dodo: Uh, we didn't say anything.  
  
Malon: You are so 3 minutes ago!  
  
Tido: Hahahaha! You're old and cold!  
  
Dodo: You're mean!  
  
Tido: Talk to the hand, cuz the ears aren't listening.  
  
Zelda: That is so old! This is the 14th century!  
  
Malon: Losa, loner, wanna be a man, ain't got the looks so talk to da hand!  
  
Suze: That is so radically 13th century! Right on, dudes!  
  
Zelda: We're in the 14th century!  
  
Suze: We are?  
  
Nabooru: Hi. Anyway, we are having an archery meeting next week; swimming today; running in a week and a half; diving, horseback riding, various other stuff, and cheerleading somewhere in this month. And fishing. *takes a second look at sheet* Fishing?  
  
Link: Can I join all of them?  
  
Everyone: *silence, then laughing*  
  
Link: What? *lets it all sink in* I mean, everything except cheerleading.  
  
Nabooru: Of course you can! *bell rings*  
  
Zelda: OK, time for...  
  
PERIOD 2-Gym  
  
Malon: Whoa.  
  
Romani: Whoa.  
  
Zelda/Saria/Dekurina/Link/Joshua/Fado: Creepy!  
  
Terence: I'm scared. What do we do?  
  
Terry: Go chase your ass.  
  
Terence: OK! *its kinda obvious...*  
  
Terry: Uh..............................go outside and run 2 miles.  
  
Malon: Oh no. Hey, we have to change first, I don't want to get my designer clothes all sweaty.  
  
Dekurina/Saria: *gulp*  
  
Obviously, everyone runs 2 miles, or walks and runs.  
  
*bell rings*  
  
Terry: That was interesting.  
  
Terence: *still running*  
  
So, I don't have much to write about everything, so we'll just skip to sixth period.  
  
PERIOD 6-Math [last class]  
  
Malon: Whoa.  
  
Romani: Whoa.  
  
Whole class: Creepy!  
  
Kafei: I have nothing to teach. Just a couple work sheets. *hands everyone a 300 page booklet in font 5* I expect everyone to finish this by the end of this period if you want to start pre-cal soon.  
  
Bombers: *all looking out the window at high school next door, where everyone gets dismissed early* Look at those cool kids from high school dropping out! We should too! *run out the door*  
  
Kafei: *doesn't notice, because he is on the Internet and watching racy pictures of the cucco lady*  
  
Anju: *walks in* What are you doing!!! Those are pictures the cucco lady gave you!  
  
Kafei: But the cucco lady is you! You're jealous of yourself? Is it my fault you are such a square and never show off any flesh? We're married! You don't even show your wrists!  
  
Anju: The nerve of you! *marches away, while the bombers crawl out behind her*  
  
Jerry: We're out, now we have to get a teacher to notice! *run from class to class, hoping a teacher watches them run away, but no one cares*  
  
Joel: This is hopeless.  
  
Rauru: *Comes down the hall* Hey, kids! What are you doing? *slowly tries to catch up to the bombers*  
  
Jim: We're dropping out. *all go out the door*  
  
Rauru: Yes! I got rid of those little scoundrels! *walks back to the art room*  
  
Back in math...  
  
Zelda: Malon, wanna come over and plan the party?  
  
Malon: sure!  
  
Kafei: *turns of monitor* Its only 1 minute until the bell rings. *check booklets* Only the know-it-alls wrote even one word in the booklet, and that's their names!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No one else even touched theirs!  
  
Pamela: What about me?  
  
Kafei: *checks b-let* You answered every question correctly! Wow! You are promoted to gr. 2!  
  
Pamela: Yes! I am now a mature 2nd grader, not a lame first grader. *sucks thumb*  
  
The bell rings, and everyone runs to their lockers.  
  
Malon: I have an unshakable feeling I did something wrong. Oh well, it was probably that I didn't finish the math booklet. Oh well. So, your house right after school, right?  
  
Zelda: Right!  
  
Link: According to this schedule, we are going to foods tomorrow!  
  
Zelda: Oh no, I forgot.  
  
Meanwhile, by Ruto's locker...  
  
Impa: On Tuesday, I'm making fish! *grins evilly*  
  
Ruto: Wahhhhhhhhhhhhh! *starts crying*  
  
In the auditorium for tryout meeting...  
  
King Zora: This is a sucky school, right? So we accept anybody and everybody!  
  
Link: Yay!  
  
Ruto: Hi Link! [This plot between Link and Ruto is kind of like from the movie Swimfan. Its kinda obvious who's who]  
  
Link: King Zora, I have to go home.  
  
King Zora: Come here Ruto!  
  
Ruto: What about Link?  
  
King Zora: Who cares! *gives Ruto a bear hug...i mean Goron hug...whatever, just call it a Zora hug*  
  
Ruto: *squirming in King Zora's grasp* Help me Link!  
  
Link: Bye KZ! *starts singing Kraft Dinner song or whatever* Gotta be KZ! I mean, KD! I mean...huh? *runs home*  
  
By the castle...  
  
Impa: Hi my little...chip.  
  
Malon: Huh?  
  
Zelda: Never mind. *goes to her room*  
  
Zelda: So, who are you inviting to the party?  
  
Malon: You, obviously!  
  
Zelda: Just me?  
  
Malon: Well, maybe that girl who looked like me.  
  
Zelda: Romani?  
  
Malon: That's it. I also went on a trip to Holodrum with daddy while Ingo got a job as a vase collector (think Oracle of Seasons!) I have a few friends I'm still in contact with, I'll invite them. I maybe could even invite Link and his friend!  
  
Zelda: Feeling daring?  
  
Malon: Yep! I used to be Fado's friend, but she is such a flirt! I told my little sister, Lily, about the plot [CC: I made up Lily, Malon's 10 year old sister] and she also wants to invite her best friend, Milla.  
  
Zelda: You could invite Rosa from Subrosia...I'm kidding. Her singing's kinda weird anyway.  
  
Malon: Unlike mine! *starts singing 'Epona's Song'* Listen to the words! I usually hum it, but it also has words I made up! *To the tune of 'Epona's Song* Epona! Come to me! You know I love you!  
  
Zelda: Cool it! You sound like Guru-Guru and that Song of Storms song!  
  
Malon: Remember that song you, me and Saria made up?  
  
Zelda/Malon: *to the tune of Saria's Song* Saria, we're best friends! Lets play in the lost woods and forest!  
  
Zelda: Oh yeah, are you going to invite Saria?  
  
Malon: ...  
  
Zelda: Well, are you?  
  
Malon: She does have a birthday, remember, in the store? We'll probably have our party on the same day, and she won't be able to come. Now, lets write down the list! *writes:  
  
Zelda Starr (of course!)  
  
Romani Ranch (classmate)  
  
Lily Master (sister)  
  
Milla Rend (sis's BFF)  
  
Elle Drummer (friend from holodrum)  
  
Cerena Drummer (ffh's sis)  
  
Link and Link's friend?  
  
Saria??????????!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!?!?  
  
Malon: of course, there'll be relatives at the real party Talon's giving me.  
  
Zelda: I'm surprised Talon and Ingo don't know about the mansion.  
  
Malon: Uh oh...I was writing a note about coming over and it mentioned the mansion...that's what I forgot.  
  
Zelda: Oh well. You don't need to have the party at the ranch. There are some party places in the market, where you can rent an area for the party. I'll book the whole house for you. *calls place, and after lots of asking, which led to begging, which led to yelling threats and cursing, she got the whole house* There, all done.  
  
Malon: Thanks! Now, I have to call everyone. *calls everyone except last 2 people on list* There...uh oh. Saria? I might as well try. *calls Saria*  
  
Saria: Hello?  
  
Malon: Its me, Malon. Can you come to my party tomorrow?  
  
Saria: Sorry, I'm having my birthday party tomorrow. Bye. *hangs up*  
  
Zelda: You forgot to call Link and his friend.  
  
Malon: Oh yeah! *calls Link* Link? You there?  
  
Link: Yeah. What's up?  
  
Malon: Uh...*blurts it out in high speed* WANNACOMEOVERFORAPARTYTOMMOROWWITHYOUANDYOURFRIEND?  
  
Link: Sorry, I can't. I'll give you a gift at school or something if you want.  
  
Malon: Why can't you come?  
  
Link: Cuz...  
  
Malon: Answer! Why? Its not like its a date or anything! Just a simple party-why can't you come?  
  
Link: Er...uh...  
  
Saria: *by Link, not on phone* Just hang up, Link! You are coming to my party and that's final! We're going to eat heavily iced chocolate cake and play hide-and-seek with Dekurina!  
  
Link: But I don't wanna!  
  
Malon: WHAT? How could you not wanna come to my party?  
  
Saria: *in background again* Just hang up!  
  
Link: Uh...oh no, a deku baba is attacking Mido! Bye! *hangs up*  
  
Malon: *holding up phone, confused* Mido? He's saving Mido? I heard Saria in the background, I think she wants Link to come to her party.  
  
Zelda: Oh well, we're Ok, right?  
  
Malon: Yeah. See you tomorrow Zel.  
  
Zelda: See you.  
  
End of chapter  
  
CC: This, I believe, isn't very interesting for guys. Girls might like this a bit more, but oh well. This story is getting more sensible...I've lost my funny touch! Nothing funny happens to me anymore. Junior high isn't fun. 


	8. Party Time

Party Time  
  
AN: OPTIONAL CHAPTER-I'D PREFER IF YOU SKIP IT!  
  
Guys and people who don't like REALLY crappy lame stupid boring stuff, skip this chapter (flames suck) Malon got ready for the party and everyone else did too. Whoop-de-doo. Hey, that sorta rhymes! Anyway, I'll just skip to when the guests are ready to come.  
  
Disclaimer: I dont own Zelda. And the Cerena in this story has nothing to do with Cerena on FFN, its just a name.  
  
Malon: I can't believe I haven't seen Elle and Cerena since February! Its a weekend, and knowing Zelda, she'll be sugar-high. Hopefully she doesn't act to lame in front of my mature friends. Well, they weren't mature the last time I saw them, but we've all grown. Unless one of them was a kokiri...  
  
Talon: I can't believe you stole my money and wanted to borrow the mansion!  
  
Malon: You probably had some chick with your package.  
  
Talon: Come to think of it...I think I did, but it wasn't your mother...  
  
Ingo: There's something called too much information.  
  
Malon: OKKKKKKKKKKKKK... *the doorbell rings* Wow! Its gonna be fun! I'll be with mature people. Elle's my internet friend, since she moved to Holodrum.  
  
Lily: Milla won't be coming until around 4:00.  
  
Malon: Wow, see me caring?  
  
Lily: No.  
  
Malon: -_-() Wow! This'll be fun!  
  
Malon opens door, in comes Elle Drummer and Cerena Drummer. Elle looks the same as 4 months ago and Cerena is a metre tall, but only 2 years younger than Elle and Malon.  
  
Elle: Hi Malon! *is holding a Pokemon bag, confusing Malon* Can I see your new pet?  
  
Malon: Uh, sure. *brings out a pony* He's Chippy. He's in love with Epona, but a bit too small for her. *Epona kicks Chippy, Chippy tries to kiss her, however that works*  
  
Cerena: Cool ponies! *starts harrasing them*  
  
Elle: Ow! Chippy hurt me!  
  
Malon: That's because you're being mean to him. **thinking: So much for a mature environment** I'll put your bags in your room. Then we'll be able to head to the party room.  
  
Talon: Your uncle Kafei and aunt Anju are coming here with your cousin Shannyn. I want you here to greet them, OK? [CC: For this story only, will Kafei and Anju serve as Malon's relatives]  
  
Malon: **Shannyn? My 5-year-old cousin? I mean, my 5 and 11 MONTHS cousin, as she likes to put it** OK. I'll greet them.  
  
Cerena: Last time I came over here you had N64, right?  
  
Malon: Yeah, I also have Gamecube, but its not working. How about we go rent a game?  
  
Cerena/Elle: OK!  
  
Malon: **Zelda, please hurry up! Even Milla! I need safety...**  
  
Talon: Come on guys! Me and Ingo will take the carriage down to the market for a game.  
  
Talon attatches a carriage to Brownie, another horse at the ranch. Ingo comes along to annoy everyone. Lily, Malon, Elle and Cerena climb aboard.  
  
Elle: Cerena's the little leech kid. Don't make her mad, or she'll bite you.  
  
Cerena: Yeah! *starts bugging Elle*  
  
Malon: *forced laugh* Hahaha! **What have I done?**  
  
Talon: Lets go get something.  
  
Ingo: It looks like we're leaving the Bazaar, doesn't it?  
  
Everyone except Ingo: No.  
  
Talon: Go in guys, at get your game.  
  
*everyone walks by the very few N64 video games*  
  
Elle: Look, its Zelda: Majora's Mask! (lol)  
  
Cerena: Do you have that game?  
  
malon: yeah, I do. How about we get Mario Tennis and Super Smash Bros?  
  
Lily: Uh...Ok.  
  
Elle/Cerena: Sure!  
  
Talon: Found the games you picked? I'll stand in line.  
  
Elle: OOH, ITS A PEZ!  
  
Cerena: Ok...  
  
Elle: Talon, can I get it?  
  
Talon: Sure.  
  
Cerena: I want something too!  
  
Malon: **How could they be so demanding? Oh well, might as well use this to my advantage!** Hmmm...how about some Reeses cups? Yummy!  
  
Finally, eveyone leaves the store and is back. Malon's relatives come, or at least some of them.  
  
Anju: Happy birthday Malon! How does it feel to be a year older.  
  
Malon: Not so exciting.  
  
Kafei: Happy birthday! Shannyn, did you tell Malon happy b-day?  
  
Shannyn: *shakes head*  
  
Kafei: Do you want to?  
  
Shannyn: *shakes head*  
  
Malon: She was just sleeping, wasn't she?  
  
Anju: Yeah.  
  
Anju's grandmother, uh...Daisy comes in.  
  
Daisy: Oh, Tortus. Happy birthday!  
  
Malon: uh, thank you. *hugs daisy*  
  
Cerena: *was bugging Epona and Chippy, but soon stops* Lets go play Nintendo! *runs down to the basement*  
  
Malon: Sure. *takes games downstairs*  
  
Ingo: Would you guys go outside instead? I have to fix up the basement.  
  
Malon: Sure. Lets do what we did when I turned nine! How about we go down to the street and wave at everyone we see?  
  
Elle: Sure! I remember that!  
  
*doorbell rings*  
  
Zelda: Hi Malon! Sorry I was late! Where should I put the gift?  
  
Malon: put it in my room, then we'll head down to the road.  
  
Everyone goes to the road, including Lily. Lots of people in passing carriages wave, but a few don't. Milla is also on that road.  
  
Lily: Look, its Milla! *Milla's carriage parks on the side of the road*  
  
Milla: Hi Lily! Here, Malon. An envelope with some stuff.  
  
Malon: Thanks! *after a while, everyone's arm gets tired of waving, so they head home*  
  
Malon: Wow. This is so boring. I think Ingo's done in the basement, so lets go down there. *after lots of Nintendo playing...*  
  
Elle: Who wants to go play SSB outside? Like, pretend we're the characters?  
  
Everyone: Sure! *hey, they were bored!*  
  
Ingo: who wants cake? *naturally, everyone goes upstairs in an instant. Except Zelda and Malon*  
  
Malon: Want some cake?  
  
Zelda: Not me. Its too sweet-it makes me sick.  
  
Malon: You're usually sugar-high. It appears Elle and Cerena stole your insanity and you got some of their sanity.  
  
Zelda: I'll sit and read. I don't want cake.  
  
Talon: *brings a lit cake on the table* Ready, set go! *everyone except Shannyn sings happy birthday.*  
  
Malon: You're suppposed to sing, Shannyn.  
  
Shannyn: Fine. *continues to sing*  
  
After a long pause:  
  
Lily: Hurry up, blow out the candles!  
  
Cerena: Uh, she's making a wish.  
  
Malon: I am? Oh yeah, I'm supposed to! **I wish I could survive this day and live a peaceful life** *blows out candles. 3 are left lit*  
  
Elle: Ooh, 3 boyfriends!  
  
Kafei: Maybe that's what she wished for.  
  
Malon: Whatever. *blows out rest of the candles*  
  
Ingo: Wanna do gifts now?  
  
Malon: sure. *gets gifts*  
  
Lily: Everyone chose a number from 1 to 4, except Malon. Elle and Cerena will chose the same number, since they share a present.  
  
Cerena: I forgot to buy one...*starts clawing at Elle*  
  
Lily: Choose a number from 1 to 4.  
  
Malon: Ok...3!  
  
Lily: Milla chose 3, so she gives the first gift.  
  
Malon: *takes out envelope* So, the card. *the card has a picture of a cat wearing a tiara* Hmm...*a pink slip falls out of card* I'll see that later...*reads out loud* I like you. (And I'm funny) [CC: something below funny was crossed out, and overtop in pink gel pen was funny] Happy birthday, Malon. I hope you have a good Birthday, from Shelby. *stops reading aloud, takes a gold gel pen out of the envelope, then looks at the pink slip* Wow, its a gift certificate card for 200 rupees at Honey's! Thanks!  
  
Lily: Another number besides 3.  
  
Malon: Ok, 1...nah, 4.  
  
Lily: Elle and Cerena.  
  
Malon: *gets a tiny envelope* Wonder what fits in here...*takes out 2 50 rupee certificates for the bookstore, Happy Book Shop* Wow, thanks!  
  
Lily: next number.  
  
Malon: This time, 1.  
  
Lily: That's Shannyn's gift.  
  
Kafei: *Gives Malon a package the size of a book*  
  
Everyone: Its a book.  
  
Zelda: Probably a Link Potter book.  
  
Malon: Nah, too think. But for sure its not the Goblet of the Fire Temple, thats a bit too big to fit. *takes out card first, starts to read aloud. Its obvious Shannyn didn't pick the card and Kafei did* Happy Birthday to a Niece who's; smart... funny.. . generous.. . attractive.. . creative.. . and sweet. *turns page* In fact, its not hard to see that we're related. Happy birthday, and enjoy your day! Love: Kafei, Anju, Shannyn. *stops reading out loud* Conceited!  
  
Lily: It runs in the family. *looks at Talon*  
  
Zelda: It says something on the back.  
  
Malon: *reads* Did I mention "outstanding genes"? *laughs*  
  
Lily: Don't bother chose a number. There's only one left.  
  
Zelda: Mine!  
  
Malon: *pulls furiously at a ribbon around a bag* I can't get this off!  
  
Everyone: *starts pulling, it finally slides off*  
  
Malon: Ow. *reads* To a Terrific Friend on Your Birthday. *turns page* "Friends are keepers of secrets and each other's hearts." Your friendship is good for my heart and my soul. Have your best birthday Yet. Happy 11th! Your friend, Zelda *stops reading* Cute.  
  
Zelda: I like the butterflies on the front.  
  
Malon: They're nice. *unwraps a lot of tissue paper. Gets a necklace, a make-up set, a ring, a bracelet and a bottle of perfume*  
  
Zelda: I have a bracelet like that at home.  
  
Malon: Thank you! Hey, what's the brand of the people who made this necklace? *reads* Mal & Ellie  
  
Malon/Elle: *Laugh*  
  
Malon: oh yeah, I have something from Daisy. *pulls out 200 rupees* Thanks!  
  
Viscen and Tim Bomber: Hi Malon! [Viscen is Malon's uncle, Tim is her little cousin]  
  
Viscen: Here's my gift!  
  
Malon: *opens package* Wow, its a nice top! *goes to room and puts it on*  
  
Talon: Nice shirt.  
  
Kafei: pictures! *takes out pictograph box*  
  
Everyone grabs a piece of wrapping from Zelda's gift and decorates themself with it. Lily uses the bow.  
  
Elle: Lets go play now!  
  
Everyone goes outside and plays a lot. Ingo tells everyone to go to the backyard because they'll wake up the horses and the rest of Hyrule.  
  
Malon: Sit up here and you can see all of Hyrule lit up. You can also wave to any late-night carriages. *sits on top of fence, everyone else does the same*  
  
Elle: Its dark and cold back here. We're going back, OK?  
  
Malon: OK. Me and Zelda will stay back here.  
  
Everyone except Zelda and Malon leave.  
  
Zelda: Look. If you wave, some people do wave back!  
  
Malon: Yeah. Can you believe Cerena still does that cat thing?  
  
Zelda: yeah, that is so kindergarten!  
  
Malon: What would happen if I fell over the edge of this fence? It would take forever to get back.  
  
Zelda: Just climb back up.  
  
Malon: We should be going in soon.  
  
Zelda: Sure.  
  
*everyone goes inside and goes to sleep, since they are too lazy to do anything. Daytime comes and everything goes back to normal*  
  
Malon: It could have beem better, Cerena and her cat-ness ruined my recently-cleaned room!  
  
Talon: Now that the party is over, time to ground you for the money and mansion.  
  
Malon: WHAT?  
  
End of chapter  
  
CC: Sucky, not very well explained. But I needed to hurry up. I did think the story needed Malon to share the spotlight with Zelda a little, since everything happens to Zelda. Oh well. Flame all you like. 


	9. A Few Days Later Part 1

9. A Few Days Later...  
  
A/N: Don't worry, you didn't miss any chapters. I just don't have a lot of ideas for the first few days. AND THIS CHAPTER IS ABSOLUTELY READABLE!  
  
Disclaimer: Hello.  
  
Zelda: Morning dad.  
  
King of Hyrule: Good morning. I'm off to a school meeting with Hyrule and Termina authorities.  
  
Zelda: Are you real this time?  
  
King of Hyrule: Yeah, I didn't really have an-HEY! How did you know I didn't have any clients?  
  
Zelda: Impa is terrible at acting.  
  
Impa: Time for breakfast, king...hi Zelda. Perfect timing.  
  
Zelda: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *runs outside to meet Malon*  
  
King of Hyrule: huh?  
  
Outside in Hyrule field, Zelda is half an hour early.  
  
Zelda: I might as well head there and meet Malon later. *posts a note on the Zelda's Castle/Lon Lon Ranch directions sign, then heads to school*  
  
Half an hour later...  
  
Malon: *walks up to sign* Zelda's late again...hey, what does this sign say? *reads* Oh, I'd better be rushing to school if Zelda's already there! *runs inside school*  
  
Zelda: *The first bell rings. She looks at schedule* Ok...English with Mrs. Dotour first...  
  
Malon: Hi Zelda! I heard rumors that Anju totally changed the seating plan! She made me sit near Ruto! She smells like fish!  
  
Zelda: I know! I sat behind one of the Brunette twins. They're so tall I could barely see a thing! *walks into nearby English classroom, then looks around. The room's in a big U with a few desks in between* Hey Malon! Lets go sit over by those in-between desks! We're not too close but not too far.  
  
Malon: OK!  
  
HOMEROOM: ENGLISH  
  
The 2nd bell rings, and a few people come in seconds late. Some subsitute teacher is sitting in Anju's desk and gets up to speak.  
  
Some subsitute teacher: Hello kids. Homeroom is now first period :P This will be your seating plan for first semester, but be lucky I didn't have to move you myself. Anyway, Anju threw alcohol on the fire and is in the hospital, so I'll be here for a bit. Now, everyone please talk about themselves and what they did during the summer.  
  
Link: We already did this with Anju!  
  
Sst: Well, I need to know what you did. I might be here for a long time...*after a lot of talking* You, in the back. What's your name?  
  
Fado: *the blonde kokiri. hair was in a tight bun that day, so she looked like a guy* Fado. I went to go visit my boyfriend. *lots of people giggled*  
  
Sst: Repeat that?  
  
Fado: I went to visit my boyfriend.  
  
Sst: Repeat that?  
  
Fado: I went to visit my boyfriend! I'm a girl!  
  
Everyone except Fado: Oh!  
  
Sst: That was interesting...*bell rings* Time to leave-  
  
Everyone has already left.  
  
PERIOD...2, SOCIAL STUDIES  
  
Nabooru: Hi class! How are you? I heard about Anju, it was so funny--I mean sad. This is social studies, so...everyone, go and socialize!  
  
Dekurina: Saria, your birthday was so much fun!  
  
Link: I was, um... happy to come--*notices Malon and Zelda nearby* and visit, too bad I couldn't come to the party. Mido was dying...oh Malon, here's the gift. *gives a box surrounded with horse wrapping*  
  
Malon: Too bad you couldn't come...*gives suspicious look*  
  
After a lot of talking, everyone headed to gym.  
  
PERIOD 3: GYM  
  
Terence: Everyone run 4 miles. (very straightforward...)  
  
PERIOD 4: SCIENCE  
  
Zelda: Oh no, Malon's in a different class!  
  
Lab Dude: Wake up. Uh, here's the seating plan-Romani with Sodo, Suze with Link, Dekurina with Fado, Jim and Joel, Joshua with Ruto, Zelda with Layla.  
  
Josh: Wow. I am so lucky.  
  
Ruto: I know. So am I. *silence for a few seconds*  
  
Josh: This sucks.  
  
Ruto: I WANNA BE WITH LINK!  
  
Link: This sucks.  
  
Suze: Guess what?  
  
Link: You're an orphan.  
  
Suze: how did you know?  
  
Link: Your name is Suze Ann Orphan.  
  
Layla: Hi.  
  
Zelda: Hi.  
  
Layla: Wanna eat lunch with me and Rayla today?  
  
Zelda: Whatever, sure.  
  
Lab Dude: No time for chit-chat, we will be doing conversions and measurements. See this? *holds up a fairy* It weighs about an ounce and a milligram.  
  
Everyone: Huh?  
  
Lab Dude: Shut up! Anyway, that truck outside weighs a tonne, a pound and a hectogram.  
  
Zelda: OK...*starts talking with Layla*  
  
Dekurina: *falls asleep*  
  
Fado: *totally enticed by the lesson*  
  
Lab Dude: The school's perimeter is about a kilometre and a mile--  
  
Fado: Really?  
  
Lab Dude: No. And this large bucket right here can hold up to 1 and ¼ cups, a dekalitre--  
  
Dekurina: *suddenly wakes up* IT'S DEKURINA FOR THE LAST TIME! Why does everyone make fun of me? Is it because I am a Deku? That's sexist...no, thats not right. Its racist...that doesn't sound right either. Its ageist...nah, cuz then you'd make fun of everyone else. It's speciesism! *runs to the bathroom crying*  
  
Fado: I found the lesson really cool! Continue on, Mr. Lab Dude!  
  
Lab Dude: As I was saying, you should drink a deka--I mean a DaL (a dekalitre in short terms) and 8 glasses of water exact 30 hours...  
  
LUNCHTIME  
  
Zelda: *puts her stuff for Foods and Math on the foods table* I'll stay nice and low-key if I can steal a spot in the back corner before anyone else. *heads out*  
  
Malon: Hey Zel! Its lunchtime! Wanna drop by the Latte for lunch? *whispers* I forgot my lunch money. We can borrow from some people.  
  
Zelda: Sure, we can walk down to the latte [CC: uh...they built a new Latte in Hyrule market town]  
  
Malon: Lets wait for Link and Josh.  
  
Link: *runs up* Are we going to the Latte?  
  
Malon: Yep!  
  
Skull Kid: I'm CoMiNg AlOnG tOo!  
  
Josh: Sure...  
  
Link: Whoa, I didn't see you there.  
  
Zelda: *notices Layla* Oh crap, I forgot I was going to eat lunch with her! *sneaks past her and makes her way outside without being spotted*  
  
Malon: Lets go! *walk off to the Latte*  
  
At the crowded Latte (lots of Hyrule/Termanian school kids are there for lunch too)  
  
Malon: I'm gonna go buy some stuff. Zel and Josh, save us some spots, K?  
  
Zelda: OK. *saves 3 spots. Her and Josh are occupying 2*  
  
Josh: Hi.  
  
Zelda: Hi.  
  
Josh: Why aren't you eating?  
  
Zelda: I am.  
  
Josh: No you're not.  
  
Zelda: Yes I am.  
  
Josh: No you're not.  
  
Zelda: Yes I am.  
  
Josh: No you're not.  
  
Zelda: Yes I am.  
  
Josh: No you're not.  
  
Zelda: Yes I am.  
  
Josh: No you're not.  
  
Zelda: Yes I am. See, this is a quarter-eaten sandwich. Hey, here come the others.  
  
Malon: Wanna share some pizza?  
  
Zelda: They sell pizza?  
  
Link: Yeah. This stuff is good.  
  
Skull Kid: HeY lOoK tHeRe'S jUsTiN aNd TiDo! CyA fOr NoW gUyS!  
  
Josh: Bye, SKD!  
  
Skull Kid: SKD? What's the D for?  
  
Josh: Duck.  
  
Skull Kid: Grrr...  
  
TO BE CONTINUED 


	10. A Few Days Later Part 2

10. A Few Days Later (Part 2)  
  
Skull Kid: EvErYoNe CaLlS mE a DuCk! I'm MaD! *stomps off*  
  
Zelda: Lets go!  
  
Malon: Sure.  
  
*All 4 leave without Skull Kid*  
  
Zelda: Its 12:30, we'll get to the school on time.  
  
Josh: I can't believe the school's gold!  
  
Zelda: My dad can do whatever, whenever.  
  
Malon: It must be nice to be a Princess!  
  
Zelda: When you have an evil bodyguard, it actually isn't.  
  
Malon: I forgot. *everyone walks in silence, until Justin runs up to everyone*  
  
Link: Did Skull Kid ditch you? [CC: By the way, no one except Josh knows his name, and he stays silent]  
  
Justin: No, I just left before I got late. *more silence for a minute* You're Link, aren't you? *points to Link*  
  
Link: How do you know my name?  
  
Malon: No one doesn't know your name!  
  
Justin: And you're Malon. *points to Malon*  
  
Malon: How do you know my name?  
  
Justin: You're in my English class, the 2nd row beside Zelda.  
  
Malon: **thinking: How did he know that?**  
  
Justin: You're also in my Social Studies class, I'm pretty sure foods and I also think math.  
  
Malon: Uh...**thinking: Who is this person? He looks familiar, but...**  
  
Zelda: What's your name, person?  
  
Justin: It rhymes with Rusting.  
  
Link: Gusting? Dusting? Musting?  
  
Malon: What kind of name is that?  
  
Justin: Fine then. It sorta rhymes with Rusting.  
  
Zelda: You're a liar!  
  
Link: Gustin? Dustin? Mustin? Bustin Lustin Custin? Those don't sound right...yuck!  
  
Justin: Its Justin.  
  
Zelda: You?  
  
Justin: Crap, I forgot which class I go to next. Where do you go next, Malon?  
  
Malon: Foods. *looks at Zelda*  
  
Zelda: Gulp.  
  
Justin: You go to science after, right?  
  
Malon: No.  
  
Justin: Huh? You're screwing me up! What do you mean?  
  
Malon: I already went to science this morning.  
  
Justin: Whatever.  
  
Josh: We're here.  
  
Justin: Josh? You were here?  
  
Josh: Yeah.  
  
*Everyone goes inside school, and waits to go to their classes since King Zora is locking them out*  
  
Some 6th grade kid: *walks up to Zelda* My friend with the green clothes wants to know if you'll go out with him.  
  
Zelda: *rolls her eyes*  
  
Some 6th grade kid and his friends: *laughing*  
  
Kid with green clothes: *shakes head*  
  
Malon: What did he say?  
  
Josh: *explains to Malon*  
  
Malon: Huh?  
  
King Zora goes away and everyone is free to leave.  
  
Link: Hurry up, or we'll be late! *everyone runs to their lockers, then their classes*  
  
Zelda: I'm gonna be hiding in the bathroom until 6th period.  
  
Malon: Chill out!  
  
Zelda: How? Its not possible! I'm not going, I'm too scared. *locks herself in a bathroom stall*  
  
Malon: Impa isn't letting us in yet. Lets talk. How do you think Justin knew who I was, where I sit, and I didn't even know he existed?  
  
Zelda: I don't know. Maybe he likes you.  
  
Malon: *laughs* Thats a stupid idea!  
  
Zelda: Its a first thought. You must be well-known.  
  
Malon: Impa's letting us in. See ya Zel.  
  
Zelda: Don't tell anyone about me!  
  
PERIOD 5: FOODS  
  
Impa: Hello. Where's Zelda?  
  
Malon: Uh...she's late.  
  
Zelda: *runs in muttering to herself* I can't believe I forgot all my stuff in here. Maybe I can get through before Impa comes--  
  
Impa: How nice of you to join us, my little crisp--crispy chip.  
  
Zelda: Huh?  
  
Impa: Has everyone made something before?  
  
Everyone: *nods*  
  
Impa: Good, then we can skip the basics and start cooking!  
  
Tido: But the only thing I ever made was old Fruity Forest-Os cereal!  
  
Sodo: No! You had Saria pour your milk and help you direct the Fruity Forest-Os out of the box into the bowl!  
  
Tido: SO? What's it to you?  
  
Impa: Whatever! The oven's waiting for you.  
  
Zelda: Gulp.  
  
Impa: I don't mean for you to go in, for it to be started and get stuff cooked! You have to go into it later!  
  
Everyone: *screams, and runs to the door. Its barred and bolted shut. Same with the windows*  
  
Impa: I di--  
  
Guards: *break through door somehow* Impa Suzukeea Kaklarikioa or something like that, you're under arrest!  
  
Impa: You're the guard who works in Kakariko! You have to know its Impa Suzukia KAKARIKO, NOT KAKLARIKIOA!  
  
Guards: Whatever. You're under arrest.  
  
Impa: *being dragged out* Zelda, prove I'm innocent! I am! You need me! You'd die anyway, I wanted to make it easy for you!  
  
Guards: You will be executed for that remark!  
  
Impa: You need me! ZELDAAAAAAAAAAAA!  
  
Zelda: I'm scared. Who's our new teacher?  
  
Grogg walks in, yelling, "Who wants some fried cucco?"  
  
Guards: Foods is now an illegal subject in Hyrule. And yes, I would like some fried cucco.  
  
Link: I thought you loved cuccos! You made me help the Bombers and march around for hours helping your chicks grow up!  
  
Grogg: Who cares. I'll teach Koholintian for 1st semester, Holodrumian for 2nd semester and...French for 3rd semester.  
  
Everyone: French?  
  
Rauru: *walks in* Ok everyone, today I am gonna take over. Grogg will teach...those stuff tomorrow same time and now I'll teach art now. We'll fix the schedules by tomorrow. Now, off to some place you go.  
  
PERIOD 6: MATH  
  
Kafei: Hello. We are doing a test. *hands out booklets from Friday* Here you go. Only Pamela doesn't have to do it. Everyone finish the first 3 pages. *with much difficulty, everyone finishes while Kafei's looking at his pictures. *bell rings, everyone hands in test while Anju gets pissed at Kafei again*  
  
Malon: I'm grounded, so I have to get home soon. Bye Zelda!  
  
Zelda: Bye. Have fun!  
  
Malon: At least you weren't cooked! What do you mean 'Have fun'?  
  
Zelda: Its called sarcasm. Sorta.  
  
Malon: I might as well be talking to a wall--oh, my bad, I mean King Zora. *calls Epona and rides home*  
  
Zelda: OK, I have no idea what she's talking about...  
  
End of chapter  
  
CC: I've written everything out, I just don't post. My comp sucks. It always screws up and its hard to even get to the site! Well, review, flame, whatever. Lots of those things happened to me though. Except for the racy pics and Kafei (or at least, I don't think that happened) but that older kid and the guy in 'green clothes' is a real bastard! 


	11. Not So Sure after All?

The Zelda Characters Go to School by Crazy Chick  
  
11. Not so Sure after all?  
  
A/N: Crap, I haven't updated in a long time. It seems like forever!  
  
Disclaimer: This is like the...*counts for 20 minutes* the 11th chapter! Grow up! *whispers to random people* I forgot my line.  
  
LAST TIME, LOTS OF WEIRD CRAP HAPPENED. IMPA WAS ARRESTED AND GROGG IS TEACHING LANGUAGES!  
  
King of Hyrule: Good morning Zelda. I received a call from Talon saying that Malon can't meet up with you anymore.  
  
Zelda: Sure. Its boring waiting for her. *changes quickly, then heads to door*  
  
Impa: Wait! You forgot breakfast! *shrugs, then starts to eat a baked Carpenter's head she made for Zelda*  
  
Zelda: I thought you were arrested!  
  
Impa: Their bars were weak. Besides, no one can trust a woman with freaky eye shadow!  
  
AT THE SCHOOL...  
  
Zelda: Oh, I'm gonna be late! Mal must already be at social studies! If only my stupid lock would work! *after lots of effort, the lock opened. Zelda got her stuff and ran to social studies just before the second bell*  
  
PERIOD 1: SOCIAL STUDIES...or is it?  
  
Nabooru: We're having a test on how your social life ranks! Here's a booklet! 5 minutes to study!  
  
Confused, everyone takes the booklet. A timer goes off as soon as everyone gets their booklet.  
  
Nabooru: Time's up! Ready for the test? Wait, my timer is a bit fast.  
  
Zelda: A bit? Oh crap! I need a pencil! Malon, do you have one?  
  
Malon: *who sits beside Zelda, btw* This is my only one. *holds up an Official Link Fanclub pencil*  
  
Zelda: You're a member of the OLF?  
  
Malon: No, I just found this in the market. There were thousands of them.  
  
Zelda: O.o  
  
Link: I have a pencil you can borrow! *hands Zelda an OLF pencil* I collect them.  
  
Zelda: Riiiiiiight. But I thought you owned the OLF?  
  
Link: No, some crazy chick came up with the idea.  
  
Crazy Chick (aka me!): *runs in* Somebody call me?  
  
Zelda: You're ruining the fic! Go chase your ass.  
  
Terence: That's copyright! I made that up!  
  
Crazy Chick: Well...I made YOU up.  
  
Terence: Good point. *walks away*  
  
Zelda: Go away, please?  
  
Crazy Chick: Fine. *disappears in a cloud of purple smoke*  
  
Anju: *opens door* Hey! You guys are in the wrong class--English is your real period 1 class! *notices purple smoke* AGH! *throws some "Evian" at it, then runs away*  
  
Nabooru: Don't ask. You didn't see it.  
  
Everyone heads off to Anju's class. What else are they expected to do?  
  
Anju: *in class* Sorry about freaking out over the smoke. When the school burned down, I threw water on the fire and it got bigger--  
  
Jimmy: Wouldn't the fire go out?  
  
Anju: Fine then. I threw some, uh, booze--  
  
Jerry: What's booze?  
  
Anju: Alcohol, sweetie. Anyway, I thr--  
  
Joel: Where did you get the booze from?  
  
Anju: *turns red* Stop asking questions! I had to hire a subsitute since I was in the hospital. Or at least I think I did...  
  
Justin: You didn't, did you?  
  
Anju: ARGH! *takes out a whip as soon as the bell rings.* Awww...  
  
THE real PERIOD 2!  
  
Nabooru: Anyways, start up whatever you were doing. Which is studying, of course.  
  
Zelda: Where's that Official Link Fanclub pencil?  
  
Link: In your hand.  
  
Zelda: Oh yeah!  
  
Nabooru: OK, here are your tests...*realizes they're missing* Hey, where are they? Oh crap, you guys already had them to study! Who cares. *starts moving people so they can't cheat as well*  
  
Link: Don't forget to move these 2 little chatterboxes. *points to Malon and Zelda*  
  
Nabooru forgets. After a long time of easy work...the bell rings.  
  
PERIOD 3: GYM  
  
Terry: My assistant is near death, so we will cancel gym today.  
  
Terence: No, I'm OK, I can help teach...*is knocked unconsious because he ran into a wall*  
  
Terry: Uh...Run 4 kilometres.  
  
Zelda: No fair! Last time was 4 miles!  
  
Terry: We're challenging you peeps. And you have to run 5 km in half in hour for that remark!  
  
Zelda: :(  
  
PERIOD 4: SCIENCE  
  
[CC: Let me make an explanation. Its been a few days and since Layla talked so much she had to be moved. Zelda isn't so sure if she wants to hang out with Layla anymore. I don't want to make another chapter, this is long enough!]  
  
Layla: Hi Zelda!  
  
Zelda: Hi Layla. *sighs unhappily*  
  
Layla: Where were you yesterday?  
  
Zelda: I forgot...  
  
Layla: Oh well. Rayla ate with some others and I didn't mind.  
  
Lab Dude: Today we will add a few words to our vocab list! 1 is population, for example: The population of ants in the anthill was lots. 2 is adaptation: The polar bears have adaptations for living in the cold. 3 is species: The Deku species like to have bonfire rituals complete with pouring alcohol in the fire and throwing mutated de-headed monkeys into an old flaming bathroom stall.  
  
Everyone: HAHAHAHA!  
  
Dekurina: This is so shameful! You treat me like an animal!  
  
Sodo: You mean a de-headed monkey in a toilet? AHAHAHA--*realizes no one is laughing with him*  
  
Lab Dude: This job sucks.  
  
IN MATH, HOWEVER...  
  
Malon and the others who weren't in that science class are in math at the time.  
  
Kafei: I will be arranging a seating plan, ye olde children. Malon sit with Saria, Mido sit with Rayla, Dodo and Tido, Tim and Pamela, Jerry and Skull Kid, Justin is all by his little self.  
  
Saria: ...............................  
  
Malon: *sighs unhappily also*  
  
Mido: Hey cutie!  
  
Rayla: Uh...  
  
Sodo: Hiya bro!  
  
Tido: Hiya Soda!  
  
Sodo: Mmmm, soda...  
  
Kafei: Work on your new booklets on the table. Your schedules are a bit different, sorry.  
  
LUNCHTIME!!!  
  
Malon: Zelda, you coming to the Latte?  
  
Zelda: I'll pass. Looks cold out.  
  
Malon: Sure. I'll go with Josh and Link. See ya.  
  
Zelda: Hi Romani!  
  
Romani: Hi, pardner! I'll trade ya Malon for 2 bales o' hay! Oh, this stupid accent thingie sucks!  
  
Zelda: Can I eat lunch with you? Malon's going to the Latte today.  
  
Romani: Sure, its OK. I'll be going to order something in the cafeteria, so you can wait in there.  
  
Zelda hops along happily towards the cafeteria. She then notices Layla.  
  
Zelda: **She's really annoying, I can't believe I ate lunch with her for the past week!** *waits, by looking at the wall and being super bored*  
  
Layla: *notices Zelda, then walks up to her* Hey Zelda.  
  
Zelda: Yeah, um, I was going to eat lunch with my other friend today.  
  
Layla: *either didn't hear, or just ignores her.* Where should we sit?  
  
Zelda: I don't think you heard me right, I was goin-  
  
Layla: Ooh, that looks like a good spot! *points to a small table by some stairs*  
  
Zelda: You don't underst-  
  
Layla: Well, what are we waiting for? *grabs Zelda's arm, drags her up the stairs, then lets her sit down*  
  
Zelda: Fine, then. I just need to go do something. *walks over to Romani standing in line*  
  
Romani: Hi Zelda!  
  
Zelda: I'm going to eat lunch with someone else now, OK?  
  
Romani: OK. Don't worry.  
  
Zelda: *runs over to Layla*  
  
Layla: Hi!  
  
Zelda: *sighs*  
  
Layla: *during lunch, she starts stealing Zelda's candy, pushing and annoying her* I have an idea! I'm gonna get a workout! Join me! *starts running up and down stairs, and all around the cafeteria. Zelda winces at the fact that Romani and her friends are seeing this crazy person run around and hang out with her*  
  
Layla: Why aren't you joining me?  
  
Zelda: Cuz...*finally, the bell rings* Yes!  
  
Layla: Why are you happy?  
  
Zelda: Cuz I was bored.  
  
Layla: you should have run with me!  
  
Zelda: **What kind of crap have I gotten myself into?**  
  
PERIOD 5: LANGUAGES  
  
Zelda: I never heard of a subject called languages.  
  
Grogg: Well then, you're one special little person.  
  
Zelda: ...  
  
Malon: How was lunch, Zel?  
  
Zelda: I'd rather not say...  
  
Malon: Yesterday your friend wasn't here to eat lunch.  
  
Zelda: CRAP! That was the day I had an orthodontist appointment!  
  
Malon: You go to an orthodontist?  
  
Zelda: Yeah, I have braces. I hide them with white-out! [CC: Note: DON'T try this at home!]  
  
Grogg: You mean 'steelo corrector' in French.  
  
Dekurina: You spelt it wrong. 'C'est stylo correcteur'. [Translation: "That's white-out." Or at least I think that's accurate.]  
  
Grogg: What do you mean? I talked!  
  
Dekurina: But your pronunciation sucked and I saw on your term 3 sheet you spelt it wrong, 'professeur'.  
  
Grogg: What does that mean? And how would you know, you're not French!  
  
Dekurina: Well...you aren't either!  
  
Grogg: 'Ècole très bien!' [CC: Sorry if the accents don't show up]  
  
Dekurina: 'Ècole pas très bien!'  
  
Malon: Isn't that 'School very well' and 'school really bad'? They sound like French beginners!  
  
Zelda: 'Oui'.  
  
Saria: 'Dekurina, comment vas-tu?' [Translator: Dekurina, how are you?]  
  
Dekurina: *looks super pissed-off* 'Ca va pas très bien, merci!' *storms off to the bathroom* [T: 'I feel really bad, thank you.' I think that's true...]  
  
Tido: What the fudge is French?  
  
Zelda: You're a know-it-all brother! Figure it out!  
  
Grogg: Ah, 'Cest la vie' you tree-princess wannabe! OK, we will start Koholintian. First of all, how are you? 'Owhay earay ouyay?'  
  
Malon: That sounds faintly familiar...  
  
Grogg: Now, Mr. Grogg Cucco is a fantastic man. 'Istermay Rogggay Uccocay siay aay antasticfay anmay.'  
  
Zelda: Now I know why this is familiar...  
  
Grogg: Guess what I'm saying? 'Ekurinaday siay aay ratbay ndaay eshay inksthay eshay siay martersay anthay emay, oday ouyay?'  
  
Everyone: Dekurina is a brat and she thinks she is smarter than me, do you?  
  
Grogg: What? How did you know thus?  
  
Zelda: Ouyay raudfay! Tisay iglatinpay! [Translator: You fraud! It's piglatin!]  
  
Grogg: I admit, its true. But Koholint adopted the piglatin language and decided to call it Koholintian cuz it sounds more authentic.  
  
Link: Uh...works for me...I guess...  
  
PERIOD 6: MATH (for Zelda)  
  
Kafei: Bad morning, teacher. Tonight we won't play on our...what's an opposite for booklet?  
  
Dekurina: Leaflet!  
  
Kafei: Ah, Dekalina, how typical of you. Work on your booklets, peeps.  
  
Dekurina: *starts fuming*  
  
Zelda: **I don't wanna be a bitch and totally ditch Layla, but I'm having second thoughts...**  
  
Layla: Hey Zelda! Sorry to disturb your daydream! Wanna have a sleepover or something? Since I live in a hut with my sis, we could go to your house! I mean castle. Ask the king or Impa, OK?  
  
Zelda: Sure...  
  
PERIOD 6: SCIENCE (for Malon)  
  
Saria: You're right. Dekurina is no fun. I'm going to the Deku Tree to give up being a Kokiri.  
  
Malon: What? Why?  
  
Saria: Well, sort of. I'll ask him if I can be like Link, who's sort of a Kokiri, but really isn't.  
  
Malon: How about you, me and Zelda go to the Deku Tree after school?  
  
Saria: Sure! I only agreed to those lame kid-like things because of Dekurina.  
  
Rayla: Sitting back here with Mido sucks! At least I'm near you guys!  
  
Malon: Yeah.  
  
Rayla: I'm the more popular, social twin of us Brunette twins. I shall be happy to here you guys vent about Layla's weirdness.  
  
Saria: Poor Zelda...all alone in a class with Layla...and the hide-and-seek with icing cake sucked so much! Link didn't really enjoy himself. Malon already knows he was at my party.  
  
Malon: Yeah, I know.  
  
AFTER SCHOOL...  
  
Malon: Hi Zelda! Wanna come with me and Saria to Kokiri forest? She's being partially de-kokiriized or whatever.  
  
Zelda: Really? Only if its partial...Oh crap! I can't go to the forest, Layla will be there! You guys come over to my castle after school. I'll have one of the guards bring a carriage.  
  
Malon: OK! *heads off to the Great Deku Tree Sprout's place with Saria*  
  
Great Deku Tree Sprout: Hi Saria! Hi Malon! What must I do for thee?  
  
Saria: I'd like to be partially de-kokiriized. So I actually can grow up and become more mature mentally, but I can still be Kokiri at heart. And when I'm 45, I don't want to look older, just become older. OK?  
  
GDTS: I must tell you something, Saria. You aren't Kokiri, you and Link are both 2nd cousins. Or you both had the same great great grandparents. Or else you aren't related at all, Link's mom's best friend also died, leaving Saria at the forest too. Something like that.  
  
Saria: Then why aren't I growing up?  
  
GDTS: When you reached 10, I kokiriized you. I couldn't do Link cuz he had to be the Hero of Time. You'll understand when he's older. *the GDTS starts flailing its branches overtop of Saria's head and other weird rituals, which de-kokiriizes Saria*  
  
Saria: I don't feel different.  
  
GDTS: I know. You were kokiriized recently, so not much has happened to you.  
  
Malon: uh huh...  
  
END OF CHAPTER  
  
CC: I couldn't let Saria's torture go on. So now I've switched it to Ruto...hehe. 


	12. Finally Clued In?

The Zelda Characters Go to School by Crazy Chick  
  
12. Finally Clued in?  
  
A/N: This chapter isn't very long. Its just an ordinary day. Well, if you're a Zelda character and think blowing up a science teacher when you're aiming for a tree is an ordinary day, then sure. :P  
  
Disclaimer: Roses are red, violets are blue. I don't own Zelda, and neither do you. [sorry if I stole that offa someone. Theres like a billion people on here so you never know...]  
  
LAST WEEK ON TZCGTS, Impa escapes jail, I ruin the fic, Dekurina is made fun of, Layla is super annoying, the Koholintian language is ripped off and Saria's dekokiriized. Nothin special...  
  
OF COURSE WE ARE IN THE CASTLE IN THE MORNING!  
  
King of Hyrule: Holy googleplex!  
  
Zelda: *gets up slowly out of bed* Huh?  
  
King of Hyrule: I just created a number called the googleplex! Its like in scientific notation since its so huge!  
  
Zelda: Scientific notation doesn't exist yet!  
  
King of Hyrule: Then I shall create it! For example, Rauru is 1.45x10(5) {ten to the fifth power} years old! [CC: Sorry if that doesn't look right. The 5 in brackets ( ) is the exponent, and the 10 is the base. If you don't know this stuff, you're either too young to be an author, I've made this too confusing or you're uneducated. If you know it and are not any of those, then whoop-de-doo.]  
  
Rauru: I am not 145 000 years old! I am 1.451x10(5) years old! 145 100 years, Zelda. When you're in junior high you'll understand.  
  
Zelda: Kafei already taught us this, though.  
  
King of Hyrule: Well! I should have him sued for teaching you such complicated math before your time! Wait, how did he know about it before I created it?  
  
Zelda: Just a funny little mistake...? Whatever, he created it. I just decided to see how stupid you are. *realizes what she said, then runs to school before the King can punish her*  
  
Impa: Dangit! She forgot her breakfast again! Oh well! *takes out some remains of Ganondorf*  
  
King of Hyrule: Ooh, who doesn't love a home-made delicacy! *starts fighting over it with Impa*  
  
AT THE SCHOOL...  
  
PERIOD 1: ENGLISH (I should change that to Hylian, OK?)  
  
Anju: This is not actually your homeroom, since Marilla and Judo are your homeroom teachers. Anyway, what's up? Uh, I don't have anything planned for this class, just wait until first period is over.  
  
PERIOD 2: SOCIAL STUDIES  
  
Nabooru: OK, everyone tell me the marks they got on their test. *hands it out to students*  
  
Link: What's the point if you already marked them and could already check yourself?  
  
Nabooru: I just felt like shaming people so they would have to say their marks out loud. Hee hee! *evil grin*  
  
After lots of mark-telling, everyone...uh...sits down bored.  
  
Nabooru: Still got half an hour to go! Oh, who doesn't love a good bit of gossip! So tell me, what's been happening lately?  
  
Sodo: The Deku species like to have bonfire rituals complete with pouring alcohol in the fire and throwing mutated de-headed monkeys into an old flaming bathroom stall! HAHAHAHA!  
  
Nabooru: Ooooookay. Anything else?  
  
PERIOD 3: MUSIC  
  
Guru-Guru: I am your music teacher! Sing the ABC's!  
  
Everyone: *singing really off-key* A B freakin E F G--  
  
GG: How terrific! Now lets sing along to my organ grinder thingamajiggie! *to the tune of Song of Storms, again* Song of Storms! Hear my plea! Please don't put some rain on me!  
  
[IT IS OPTIONAL TO SKIP EVERY SONG EXCEPT FOR MALON'S IF YOU WISH!]  
  
Zelda: *to the tune of Zelda's Lulluby* Zeeeeeelda! Clooooooose your eyes! Dreeeeeeeeeam some peeaaaaaaaaaaaaceful dreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeams!  
  
Saria: *to the tune of Saria's song* Saria! We're best friends! Lets play in the lost woods and forest!  
  
Ruto: *to the tune of Serenade of Water* Playing with Zoras! Playing with Zoras! Plaaaaaay with Princess Ruto nottttttttt! *stops singing* Hey, that's not right.  
  
Zelda: Ew! Where did you come from?  
  
Malon: *to the tune of Epona's song* EPONA! COME TO ME! YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU!  
  
Suddenly, from out of nowhere, there is the whinny of a horse.  
  
Epona: *smashes down one of the music room walls*  
  
Guru-Guru: oh no! Make him go away!  
  
Link: I have a solution! *to the tune of Epona's song, really off-key* EPONA! GO AWAY! YOU KNOW I HATE YOU! *voice cracks*  
  
Sodo: HAHAHAHA!  
  
Link: Shut up, Soda!  
  
Sodo: That's not funny!  
  
Epona: *goes away, mad but bored*  
  
Malon: O.o  
  
Pamela: That was weird.  
  
Guru-Guru: The first normal comment I've heard today! You are now promoted to gr. 3!  
  
Pamela: Yay! I am no longer a teeny 1st or 2nd grader! EHEHEHEHE!  
  
PERIOD 4: SCIENCE (for Zelda)  
  
Layla: Hi Zelda!  
  
Zelda: Hi.  
  
Layla: About the sleepover...  
  
Zelda:**Oops, forgot to ask Impa or dad!** Uh, you're not allowed.  
  
Layla: Oh. That's too bad. *sits in her new spot*  
  
Lab Dude: MY LIFE SUCKS! I wanna commit suicide. Nah, if I do, I'll be sent ta hell. Who's interested in commiting a homicide?  
  
Link: ME!  
  
Ruto: *has no idea what the teacher is talking about, but also puts up her hand since Link is*  
  
Lab Dude: I pick Ruto! She'll do a suckier job and I'll suffer more agony and pain!  
  
Ruto: OK! *starts jabbing him pathetically*  
  
Lab Dude: This is more massage than pain! Go away. Practice conversions. Think, uh, m for mile, km for kilometre, daL for dekalitre--  
  
Dekurina: When will my torture end? Someone come bomb both me and the Lab Dude!  
  
Strangely enough, someone does. Anju runs in, and throws "Evian" all over. Dekurina doesn't suffer, but the Lab Dude has to be taken away by unskilled paramedics. Don't ask why. Malon leaves since she thinks the school is blown up.  
  
LUNCHTIME!  
  
King Zora: *waddles into the cafeteria* Hey, people! We're gonna let you eat lunch, then we have to send ya home since there have been serious problems and Terminian terrorists in the science class. *waddles out with Ruto*  
  
Zelda: Malon's not here! There's Layla's sister, Rayla. Maybe she knows where Malon is. *walks over to Rayla*  
  
Rayla: *is talking with Romani and some others*  
  
Zelda: You're Rayla, right?  
  
Rayla: Uh, yeah.  
  
Zelda: Do you know Malon?  
  
Rayla: Yeah. Who are you?  
  
Zelda: Zelda.  
  
Rayla: *gives Zelda a weird look, then starts to talk with her friends again*  
  
Zelda: **I have the feeling she won't or can't tell me where Malon is. I really do not like her.** *leaves the school even though she didn't have lunch*  
  
At the castle, Terry comes along with a letter.  
  
Zelda: This is for me?  
  
Terry: yep. Its from someone named Malon Master.  
  
Zelda reads the note. Its says:  
  
"Dear Zelda,  
  
Do you want to come over to my house and do some stuff? It'll say on the back, so you can read that soon. Write back as soon as you can. Come over for dinner at 7:00. Thanx! -Malon"  
  
Zelda quickly writes back then sends Terry off to the ranch.  
  
Zelda: *flips over sheet to see what's going to be happening. She quickly skims down to the P.S.*  
  
"P.S. I'm also inviting Rayla."  
  
Zelda: Oh crap.  
  
CC: Stupid! HEHEHE! I know its flame-worthy, but I'm screwed up in the head cuz Mountain Dew doesn't make you high but it might if you shoot up with heroin. Well, I actually didn't do that, but I don't care if you did (or do). 


	13. Free as a caged bird

The Zelda Characters Go to School by Crazy Chick  
  
13. Free as a (caged) bird  
  
A/N: Don't ask (about the title, I mean) Nothin important here, but this story really seemed focused on this Zelda and Layla problem. But who cares. Surprises in here. By the way, what DID happen to Malon's gift? We'll find out!  
  
Disclaimer: I won't give you candy unless you review...Wrong disclaimer, I mean, I don't own Zelda.  
  
LAST TIME ON TZCGTS, the school blew up, Dekurina didn't die, and Zelda was invited to Malon's house with Rayla. But I won't post what happens. Rayla and Zelda aren't best buds now, but they don't hate each other [A/N: Too bad that me and 'Rayla' aren't really friends. We just see each other in the halls]  
  
SORRY ABOUT NOT POSTING 4 A LONG TIME, I'M LAZY. AND THIS STORY IS POINTLESS AND FLAME-WORTHY, SO YOU HAVE NO REVIEWING EXCUSES!  
  
King of Hyrule: Holy google!  
  
Zelda: *gets out of bed* What now?  
  
King of Hyrule: I made up another number! A google!  
  
Zelda: Why would you make a googleplex before a google?  
  
King of Hyrule: I'm a little foggy on the details myself.  
  
Impa: Who wants fried re-  
  
Zelda: *quickly leaves before Impa can give what is obviously not a pleasant breakfast*  
  
AT SCHOOL...  
  
Zelda: Malon must already in class. That's good. Off to Hylian [AKA English] we go.  
  
PERIOD 1: ENGLISH/HYLIAN  
  
Anju: I don't have a very complex plan, so what? Who wants to practise thinking up catchy titles for paragraphs about you and your life? How about you, Pamela?  
  
Pamela: Poe in my...music box?  
  
Anju: Perfect! But I can't promote you to grade four yet, since you have to take the grade 3 country-wide tests. Well, you're the only third grader in Hyrule/Termina doing the test. Jimmy, I demote you to grade 3.  
  
Jim: Why? I wasn't in grade four in the first place!  
  
Anju: Of course not! I said you're in grade three!  
  
Other bombers: *snickering*  
  
Anju: stop laughing Jerry. What's your title?  
  
Jerry: Uh, "assignment one"? Or how about "I love Candy"?  
  
Anju: No. Joel, you?  
  
Joel: "The Bunny Hood who Hallucinated his Boyfriend"?  
  
Justin: The story of his life.  
  
Anju: Did you say the Bunny Hood is a HE and has a BOYfriend?  
  
Justin: I think that was the point.  
  
Anju: Detention Joel! And Justin too, cuz Joel will be lonely, won't he?  
  
Justin: :(  
  
Joel: ^_^ ;D  
  
*bell rings*  
  
Anju: Everyone, think up better titles. Except for Pamela.  
  
Justin: How about "The Horse who Hallucinated his Crap"?  
  
Joel: The story of MALON'S life.  
  
Malon: I'm gonna getcha, you fag!  
  
PERIOD 2: SOCIAL STUDIES  
  
Nabooru: Hey peeps! Hows you be? [CC: Sorry, but I was sleepy and sugar- high] Going of to music, I see! Most people's social lives ranked high, except for Dekurina, Pamela, some bombers, some know-it-alls, and Layla whose from a different class. Now, uh...socialize!  
  
Malon: Zelda, I'm having lunch off campus, but I'll be back early, OK?  
  
Zelda: You better.  
  
Link: Mal, remember the gif--  
  
Malon: Now, time for some bomber bashing! *starts to beat up the wrong bomber so badly that he has to be sent to the hylian hospital*  
  
Saria: I love being dekokiriized.  
  
Zelda: So she really went through with it!  
  
*bell rings, everyone heads to music*  
  
PERIOD 3: MUSIC  
  
Guru Guru: Everyone either practise playing the ocarina, harp, flute, organ grinder thingie or sing, OK?  
  
Zelda: What if I can play the ocarina and the harp?  
  
GG: Simultaneously? Everyone resume practising! (super straightforward)  
  
PERIOD 4: SCIENCE (for Zelda)  
  
Zelda: *tries to avoid Layla, thinks she's succeeding*  
  
Same "some subsitute teacher" for Anju: Lab dude is in a serious life- threatening operation, so I, same "some subsitue teacher" for Anju, shall be replacing Lab Dude. Lets see his notes..."Helpful students: Pamela; Layla;" uh huh..."be careful around notes for Deku species"...yep..."whatever I do, do not say Dekalitre"?--oops.  
  
Dekurina: I CANNOT TAKE THIS ANYMORE! NO ONE SAY MY NAME IF YOU CAN'T! *stops off, her leaves flaming*  
  
S"sst"fA: Sure...anyway, everyone study until its 5 minutes until leaving time.  
  
After a lot of time wasted staring at blank sheets...  
  
S"sst"fA: Time's up! Pack up, peeps!  
  
Layla: *runs over to Zelda, nearly knocking over her desk* Hi! Where are you off to next?  
  
Zelda: Uh, after lunch, art.  
  
Layla: Cool. What's your locker number?  
  
Zelda: I dunno.  
  
*bell rings, Zelda runs to cafeteria after a lot of struggles with her lock*  
  
Malon: See ya Zel!  
  
Zelda: Bye. *enters cafeteria*  
  
Layla: *suddenly shows up* Hi!  
  
Zelda: ...  
  
Layla: *drags Zelda to the same table* We'll eart here! Can I have your phone number? I'll put mine in your agenda. *both swap agendas. For some demented reason or else she wasn't thinking, Zelda actually puts her real phone number* Cool! What do you have for snacks? Can I have something?  
  
Zelda: I dunno...  
  
Layla: *grabs Zelda's lunch back, Zelda steals it back* You're mean!  
  
Zelda: I know. *holds bag with a firm grip*  
  
Layla: *somehow steals Zelda's lunch pass*  
  
Zelda: Give it back!  
  
Layla: I'll trade it back! *but eventually returns it* You sure you don't know your locker number? I'll follow you, then I'll know. We can give each other notes.  
  
After lots of boring convos, Layla steals Zelda's lunch bag. Zelda wrestles it away, but Layla steals her juicy jellie, Zelda's favorite snack.  
  
Zelda: Give it back!  
  
Layla: No!  
  
Zelda: I won't eat lunch with you anymore! I won't be your friend anymore!  
  
Layla: Fine! *starts sprinting around the cafeteria*  
  
Zelda: *walks off, then sees her pal Romani* Hi Romani! Can I eat lunch with you from now on? I think I've excaped Layla's evil grasp!  
  
Romani: Sure!  
  
Zelda: When do they let us go to our lockers?  
  
Romani: *looks around* Right now. *both run to lockers with ::billions:: of others*  
  
AT LOCKER...  
  
Malon: hi Zelda! Sorry I'm late, lets go to art now!  
  
Zelda: OK! *both go towards the art class room*  
  
PERIOD 5: ART  
  
Rauru: We'll start tinkertoy lettering! {CC: By the way, tinkertoy is the font with the little circles at every angle] Everyone write their name...*looks at notes* wait, you're supposed to do silent reading.  
  
Malon: *smuggling pretzels to Zelda*  
  
Rauru: *after some minutes* OK! Now write your name in big letters spaced sorta far...no, not that far Justin...now make circles at every corner...Rayla, is that a corner to you?...Romani, your circles look like fried eggs...*continues droning on about Tinkertoy*  
  
Malon: I'll walk you to math. The science class is on the way.  
  
Zelda: Sure! *bell rings, Malon walks Zelda to math*  
  
PERIOD SIX: MATH (for Zelda)  
  
(nothing interesting happens, really)  
  
AFTER SCHOOL...  
  
Zelda: *walks up to Romani* Hi Romani! Can I get your phone #?  
  
Romani: Sure! *takes Zelda's agenda* Ewww, Layla's name! *puts name far away from Layla's*  
  
Zelda: Thanks! *waits for Malon to reach her locker* hi malon!  
  
Malon: Hey.  
  
Zelda: Don't forget to open Link's gift! Its probably hidden deep in your locker.  
  
Malon: *searches for a gift in horse wrapping, takes it home* I wonder what it is...*opens gift* Wow, its a pretty flower! Whoa, its plastic. Was plastic invented yet? its dusty...  
  
Malon started to stroke it. It shot out water, but thanks to her fast reflexes, she ducks it. It sprays onto Talon whose behind her, and he is so startled he knocks into Epona (who is in Malon's room for some strange reason) Epona kicks Ingo out the window, and he lands on Zelda who was making a surprise visit. Zelda is so scared, she runs right into a football game and accidentally punts the football. It flies into the Hylian hospital and knocks out the hurt bomber. The hospital manager comes to complain and steps on something, a pair of glasses. Dekurina runs in, trying to find a bathroom to cry in, then sees the broken glasses. She starts to scream and cry since her glasses were ruined, and she traced back to Malon, who was the blame for this mess.  
  
Dekurina: FIRST YOU MAKE FUN OF MY SPECIES, THEN YOU INSULT MY NAME, AND NOW YOU HAVE RUINED MY 50 RUPEE GLASSES! WHOSE FAULT IS THIS????  
  
Malon: It was the flower!  
  
Dekurina: whatever.  
  
Malon: Who gave me the flower? ITS ALL LINK'S FAULT!  
  
*half of Hyrule starts to tackle Link, and Link is saved by a fairy to the disappointment of many*  
  
Dekurina: I really should transfer schools.  
  
Malon: Ok, do that.  
  
Impa: *runs in* Who wants Zelda's fried re-dead leftovers? Hey, there you are, Zelda!  
  
Zelda runs off terrified. Everyone else does, since they are seeing a criminal who escaped jail.  
  
Impa: Is it the freaky eye-shadow?  
  
END OF CHAPPY  
  
CC: Yes, I'm sad to say that my life does suck with the 'Layla' problem. And thankfully, I haven't seen 'Rayla' lately. 'Malon' thinks I'm a very unlucky person to have to live with the 'Layla' problem. And to tell you the truth, I think so too. (though smuggling pretzels was fun and yummy)  
  
BY THE WAY, THE WHOLE WATER-SHOOTING LAPIS FLOWER IS ABSOLUTE FICTION! (life would be funny if it weren't...) 


	14. Back to Normal

The Zelda Characters Go to School by Crazy Chick  
  
14. Back to Normal  
  
A/N: A normal day. Most people who used to love this story probably hate it now. :'''''''( Oh well. I'm trying to see how many flames I can get. Well, not really, but I'll probably break a FFN record. :O BY THE WAY, THAT SHOULD NOT BE FLAMING MOTIVATION. This message is sent to all immature weirdos.  
  
LAST CHAPPY, LAYLA WAS ANNOYING, LINK'S GIFT TO MALON WAS A BACK-FIRED PRANK AND PEOPLE SMUGGLE PRETZELS! THAT WAS INTERESTING...  
  
King of Hyrule: Holy tenth!  
  
Zelda: A tenth was already made up.  
  
King of Hyrule: How about "Holy repeating tenth"?  
  
Zelda: o.O  
  
King of Hyrule: You wouldn't understand, this is too complicated for you.  
  
Zelda: Actually, Kafei taught us about repeating decimals and terminal decimals over a month ago. [CC: Wow, it's been a while...even for the Zelda characters. Actually, I learned that a few yrs ago. Don't ask]  
  
King of Hyrule: Yesterday we made a new school located near the stairs of Kakariko Village, and for once I am serious about it not burning down. We will meet at your school first.  
  
Impa: Who wants some cer--  
  
Zelda: Gotta run! *quickly leaves*  
  
Impa: What? I was just going to say cereal, toast and Lon Lon milk! I was fined for murder, but no one wanted to keep me in jail.  
  
King of Hyrule: *slowly backs away*  
  
Impa: ITS JUST FREAKY EYESHADOW! There is seriously something wrong with the society nowadays. Back in my day, I'd be on the cover of a fashion magazine.  
  
King of Hyrule: Things were different a millenium ago...  
  
Impa: So? Now you're getting so old you had to steal lines from your daughter! Wanna say that to my face?  
  
King of Hyrule: No. But speaking of lines, you might as well be asking Rauru how to put on eyeliner properly.  
  
Impa: Was that supposed to be a dis?  
  
King of Hyrule: I guess so. *Impa and King of Hyrule get into a fist fight*  
  
AT THE SCHOOL...  
  
King Zora: *over intercom* Everyone please meet in the auditorium for our 2 weekly assembly. [CC: Meaning one assembly every two weeks. I HATE assemblies! In my new school we don't have them though. :) Oh well.]  
  
Zelda: *sees Malon in halls* Hey Malon! Wait, how can we be in halls if the school was blown up? And how can there be an auditorium if it burned down too?  
  
King Zora: *over intercom* Sorry about that, the halls and auditorium were the only things saved.  
  
So, obviously everyone goes down to the auditorium.  
  
King Zora: The intercom is partially ruined so I'm announcing this as an assembly. We made another new school yesterday and it is ready. We will go there right now, and it is near the stairs leading to Kakariko Village. *everyone runs to the school. duh*  
  
IN THE NEW SCHOOL...  
  
King Zora: *over intercom* Locker numbers are still the same. Classes are still the same. Period 1 starts now.  
  
Ruto: Guess what? I switched lockers with Joshua Bomber and now I'm by the rest of you guys!  
  
Malon: We'll change ours too, then. You're a rip-off and said there would be an Indigo-Go concert. So far there is no concert!  
  
Josh: I talked to Mr. Zora today and he said we can't change lockers unless both people agree to it. So you have to go back to #21.  
  
Zelda: Impa was hired again and her home ec. room is right by that locker. Foods is illegal but for some reason home ec. slipped right by the law.  
  
Ruto: *starts to cry*  
  
PERIOD 1: HYLIAN  
  
Anju: Everyone will read for 20 minutes. Start! *starts walking around to see if people's books are appropriate. Walks up to Skull Kid* That book is inappropriate.  
  
Skull Kid: *is reading a book called 'Cocaine and Crack'* No It'S nOt! My HeAlTh TeAcHeR iS mAkiNg Us ReAd ThIs BoOk.  
  
Anju: We're not doing health yet.  
  
Skull Kid: BuT It'S sAyInG wHy It'S bAd To Go On DrUgS!  
  
Anju: *snatches book, reads out of current page* "How to Shoot Up". Very appropriate. You'd better change this book. *walks up to Zelda* You can't read that.  
  
Zelda: *is reading 'The Princess Diaries'* Why? It relates so well to my life!  
  
Anju: Still, it says Parental Advisory on the front.  
  
Zelda: It does? Besides, daddy suggested it to me!  
  
Anju: I guess I can live with that...  
  
After 20 minutes...  
  
Anju: Time up! I have no plan, so do some homework or read.  
  
PERIOD 2: SOCIAL STUDIES  
  
Nabooru: Tomorrow we can watch a movie. Suggestions?  
  
Zelda: 'The Princess Diaries'!  
  
Malon: 'The Saddle Club'!  
  
Nabooru: That's a weird show and a book, not a movie.  
  
Malon: So?  
  
Fado: 'How to Make Friends like 1-2-3'?  
  
Nabooru: Uh.  
  
Dekurina: 'Don't Pick on Me'!  
  
Nabooru: Have I ever?  
  
Dekurina: You are being too obnoxious! I'm talking about the movie!  
  
Ruto: How about 'Swimfan'?  
  
Justin: How about 'Jackass: The Movie'?  
  
Malon: Speak for yourself.  
  
Justin: Thanks, I'll take that as a compliment.  
  
Nabooru: All the ideas have been...great, but theres such a hard selection, so never mind. Class is nearly over, so socialize for a bit.  
  
Malon: We're having a party in our science class! We'll be watching '10 Things I Hate About You' in honor of our science teacher and secretly Dekurina!  
  
Zelda: Same with our class. That's pretty funny, though. *bell rings*  
  
PERIOD 3: GYM  
  
Terry: we decided to torture you guys, so we will start the dance unit!  
  
Boys and some girls: noooooooooooo!  
  
Terence: But today you will do sit-ups all day!  
  
Sodo: *heads to the equipment storage room*  
  
Terry: Why are you going in there?  
  
Sodo: To get a basketball. Didn't you say we had to do sit-ups?  
  
Terence: That's lay-ups you idiot!  
  
Sodo: I thought lay-ups were those things were you lie on the ground with your knees bended, and you have to sit up and lie down so your abs--  
  
Terry: You have a serious problem.  
  
PERIOD 4: SCIENCE (for Zelda)  
  
Everyone starts to watch '10 Things I hate about You' and eat snacks.  
  
Josh: *brings out chips and soda*  
  
Zelda, Link, Joel, and Romani all sit nearby. They also pig out on chips.  
  
Layla: *looks at everyone eating chips. She sits in front of Josh* Can I, you know, have some of your, uh, chips?  
  
Josh: *shakes head*  
  
Layla: *is not offended, since she's probably used to it*  
  
After a boring class of doing nothing except watching TV and pigging out...  
  
LUNCHTIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !  
  
Malon: Its getting too cold to keep going to the Latte. How about we just stay here in the cafeteria?  
  
Zelda: Sure.  
  
Everyone sits around a big table: Malon, Zelda, Romani, Saria, Link, Rayla and Josh.  
  
Romani: Oh my gosh, here comes Layla. *points to Layla walking into the cafeteria*  
  
Malon: She's walking towards us!  
  
Zelda: She has other friends though, doesn't she?  
  
Just after Zelda said that, Layla DID approach them.  
  
Layla: Can I eat lunch with you guys?  
  
Zelda: Uh, where are your other friends?  
  
Layla: Dekurina's been in the bathroom since 4th period, Fado is with her, Suze eats at home-I mean the orphanage, Pamela's at the chess club and I have no clue where Ruto is.  
  
Zelda: Whatever, who cares.  
  
Layla: *sits behind Zelda*  
  
Malon: Remember that time when that Justin kid was saying how he knew your classes and where you sat and everything?  
  
Zelda: Yeah that was sooo freaky! Wait a second, that was you, not me!  
  
Rayla: Uh, anyone want some popcorn?  
  
Zelda: Oooh, I want some! *grabs a lot of popcorn*  
  
Link: My present was pretty funny, wasn't it?  
  
Malon: Whateva!  
  
Link: I can just imagine you getting splashed in the face!  
  
Malon: Actually, I opened the package and stroked the flower. It shot out water, but thanks to my fast reflexes, I ducked under it. It sprayed onto daddy whose behind me, and he was so startled he knocked into Epona (who is in my room for some strange reason) Epona kicked Ingo out the window, and he landed on Zelda who was making a surprise visit. Zelda was so scared, she ran right into a football game and accidentally punted the football. It flew into the Hylian hospital and knocked out the bomber I beat up before. The hospital manager came to complain and stepped on something, a pair of glasses. Dekurina ran in, trying to find a bathroom to cry in, then saw the broken glasses. She started to scream and cry since her glasses were ruined, and she traced back to me, who was the blame for this mess. But I told her you gave me the present and everyone tried to kill you. That's why everyone beat you up that day.  
  
Link: Ohhhhhh, now I get it...  
  
Romani: Hey Zelda, can you heat up my lunch for me?  
  
Zelda: Sure, I was just going to heat up my own. *goes to, uh, whatever source of heat they had then*  
  
Zelda eventually came back. Layla had left.  
  
Zelda: Hey, why did Layla leave?  
  
Romani: I have no clue.  
  
Malon: She left without saying anything.  
  
Rayla: Are you really her friend?  
  
Zelda: No, she just started talking to me and automatically thought she was my friend.  
  
Romani: Yeah, and she's been following Zelda around like some kinda stalker.  
  
Rayla: She is SUCH a loser.  
  
Romani: I feel sorry for you.  
  
Zelda: *nods while eating a lunch that Impa did not make (thankfully)*  
  
PERIOD 5: LANGUAGES  
  
Grogg: Today we will be learning a song that will master some words. *makes up a different language version of 'Head and Shoulders'  
  
Romani: This is sooooo gay.  
  
Grogg: Fido, were your parents dogs?  
  
Fado: *sarcastically* Uh, yeah they were.  
  
Grogg: No wonder they named you Fido. Chien would also have worked.  
  
Fado: I'm a girl and my name is Fado for goddesses' sake!  
  
PERIOD 6: MATH (for Zelda)  
  
Kafei: Uh, just do your lil booklets up to page 10. Most of the stuff is just mental math, you know, such as, uh, about 4 352x10 358 930 in a few seconds. We will be having mad minute thingies you probably haven't touched since elementary...  
  
Romani: Uh, we ARE in elementary.  
  
Kafei: What? I thought this was a kindergarten class? Wait, that's my, er, night shift for insomniac kindergartens...I thought you were in fifth grade!  
  
Zelda: Uh, we ARE in fifth grade.  
  
Kafei: I mean 20th!  
  
Tido: *totally confused* Uh, we ARE in twentieth grade. That doesn't sound right...  
  
Tido recieves weird looks from everyone including passerbys in the halls.  
  
AFTER SCHOOL...  
  
Zelda: I wish my life would get better. Stress is making me go insane!  
  
Malon: I think you'll be happy to know that the Christmas holidays are super near.  
  
Zelda: Yay! Time for getting sugar high on caffine, syrup drenched pancakes, chocolate bars, chocolate covered green eggs and ham and of course PINE-SOL! More cleaning power than Lysol! :)  
  
Malon: *gives Zelda a weird look, then quickly runs away*  
  
Zelda: Yep, Pine-Sol sure is good mouthwash too...  
  
WARNING TO PEEPS OUT THERE: don't TRY THIS AT HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
[~*]-^-[~*]-^-[~*]-^-[~*]-^-[~*]End of chappy[~*]-^-[~*]-^-[~*]-^-[~*]  
  
That was prolly super duper sucky, but flame all ya want. See if I care (actually, I do...) 


	15. A New Day

2. A New Day  
  
A/N: For me it is currently past Christmas, but that's whatcha get when u don't update!  
  
Disclaimer: My new years resolution is to finally get my line straight. Too bad I can't remember it...  
  
ON THE LAST CHAPPY, ZELDA PLANS TO GET HIGH ON PINE-SOL, IMPA SERVES A NORMAL BREAKFAST AND ARE FADO'S PARENTS DOGS? Find out!  
  
King of Hyrule: Holy dkfajvosaelaskjfdklaskelmfksglkjgvklakt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?!?!?!?! ?!?!  
  
Zelda: What?  
  
King of Hyrule: Fine then. Holy guacamole or, uh, holy cow or holy mackerel!  
  
Zelda: That's, uh, copyright or something!  
  
King of Hyrule: Fine then. Holy %@$#ing &#^%! [CC: I had the urge to censor somethin]  
  
Zelda: That's better. I'd better get ready to go to school!  
  
Impa: Who wants... ah screw it, nobody likes my cooking anyway. *remembers the owner of Locker #21* AND WE'LL BE HAVING FISH FOR DINNER!  
  
King of Hyrule: Ooh goody, as long as its not a Zora, I'm fine with that.  
  
Impa: Damn. NEVER MIND!  
  
AT THE SCHOOL...  
  
PERIOD 1: HYLIAN  
  
Anju: We'll just go to the library and get some books. And Skull Kid, could you please switch that disturbing 'Cocaine and Crack' book?  
  
Skull Kid: I'm NoT eVeN dOnE rEaDiNg YeT!  
  
Anju: Too bad. Now lets go to the library! *leads class to library. Duh*  
  
Zelda: *takes out The Princess Diaries: Princess in the Spotlight*  
  
Malon: *takes out the first Saddle Club book in the series*  
  
Link: *takes out How to Kill your Biggest Enemys*  
  
Skull Kid: *drops off Cocaine and Crack, then takes out Cigs and Booze*  
  
Sodo: What's Booze again, Mrs. Dotour? That thing you poured on the fire? Cuz Skull Kid's taking out a book on it!  
  
Anju: *snatches the book, then hands Skull Kid 'War and Peace'* I hope you're happy with that, young man!  
  
Skull Kid: *opens book, sees that its actually 'Blood and Guts' in a war and peace book cover* HeH hEh  
  
PERIOD 2: SOCIAL STUDIES  
  
Nabooru: Since there were so many, uh, *cough* great suggestions for movies, it was impossible to pick. How about we just watch that old but still good movie, Majora's Mask?  
  
After a lot of movie watching n stuff...  
  
PERIOD 3: GYM  
  
Terence: Mwahaha! Time for torture! First we'll get ya paired off-girls stand on one side of the gym, guys on the other. Now Terry will start some music, and everyone will be paired up when they proceed to the middle and meet! Smart? I know! :)  
  
Zelda: I hope I get to dance with someone half decent!  
  
Malon: Me too. This method sucks. Hey Zel, isn't Joshua Bomber's friend hot?  
  
Zelda: Yeah, I didn't notice he's in our gym class! He must have just transferred! He's in gr. 6, right?  
  
Malon: I think so...  
  
Zelda: The thing that sucks is that our class doesn't have that many hot guys in it.  
  
Everyone meets in the middle, Malon is paired off with Link, Zelda with Tim Bomber, the Hylian 'clone' of the bombers  
  
Zelda: This sucks. I mean, you're half my size!  
  
Tim: Can I help the fact that I'm small?  
  
Zelda: Uh, sure...  
  
Malon: *turns around since Zelda and Tim are behind her* I wish I got to dance with Tim!  
  
Tim: *eyes light up* Really?  
  
Malon: hell no!  
  
Tim: *sulks*  
  
Terence and Terry sorta ditched the class, so everyone had to walk around in circles with their "partner" for about an hour.  
  
PERIOD 4: SCIENCE (for Zelda)  
  
Jim: *turns around in chair, facing Zelda, talks in dorky voice* I'm stupid.  
  
Zelda: I noticed.  
  
Jim: *goes around saying 'I'm stupid' in a dorky voice*  
  
Dekurina: How obnoxious of you, Jim! How dare you imitate me! *runs out of classroom*  
  
Jim: I was?  
  
LUNCHTIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Zelda: *walks into the caf* I'm almost always the first one here! *is relieved to see Romani at their table*  
  
Romani: What's up?  
  
Zelda: My life is a living hell.  
  
After lotsa talking and stuff...  
  
Romani: Oh my goddesses. Layla's entering the cafeteria. Hide or something!  
  
Zelda: *ducks, but doesn't hide herself very well*  
  
Layla: *walks up, unfortunatly* Can I eat lunch with you?  
  
Zelda: *looks around* Er...why don't you eat with, uh, Ruto? *points to the side of the cafeteria*  
  
Layla: *hesitates, then walks over to ask*  
  
Romani: Thank the goddesses she isn't eating with us again! *eventually, everyone joins and then eventually leaves again*  
  
Layla: *sneaks up behind Zelda and starts tickling her, who's trying to shove away* You're really ticklish. *finally stops* I have a shirt like that, but it looks different.  
  
Zelda: *ignores her, walks off with her friends*  
  
PERIOD 5: ART  
  
Rauru: Today, we will be...um...learning bubble letters!  
  
Tido: We already know how to do that!  
  
Rauru: I know it's easy, but you've never met anyone with the Rauru expertise!  
  
Fish in a fishbowl: O.o  
  
Rauru: Shut up, fishface!  
  
Tido: Uh, we didn't say anything. Remember how we were doing that in social studies because we like to lie and be common fools?  
  
Malon: Uh, what?  
  
Tido: Remember? And I came up with that killer dis to Dodo 'You're old and cold'!  
  
Malon: We didn't do that because we like to lie and be common fools, Soda!  
  
Sodo: I'm Soda--I mean Sodo! He's Frodo--I mean Tido! Now shut up!  
  
Tido: Uh, we didn't say anything.  
  
Zelda: You are sooooooo 3 months ago!  
  
PERIOD 6: MATH (for Zelda)  
  
Kafei: Work up to page 22, since there is more mental math, but only in simple order of operation equations. Such as 345 094 326+301x302-3 209(346 309x23-5 547+2) Easy? I know, cuz it's mental math!  
  
Zelda: *suspicious look* Then what is the answer?  
  
Kafei: uh...*turns red* You're just trying to find the answer!  
  
Layla: That equation isn't on the sheet!  
  
Kafei: The answer is...2?  
  
Pamela: *off the top of her head* Um...the answer is -25,541,798,462? [CC: I tried to get the answer to this question, but I'm 99.999999999999999999999999999999... percent right that the answer is wrong. I've gotten a little rusty, since its vacation and all]  
  
Kafei: Erm...yeah, that's correct...  
  
Pamela: I, uh, did it mentally. This booklet should be a snap!  
  
Zelda: Ohhhhhhhhh crap.  
  
AFTER SCHOOL...  
  
Malon: Hey Zelda! Wait up! *runs up to Zelda's locker*  
  
Zelda: What's going on?  
  
Malon: My dad and your dad teamed up and invited a bunch of people for this big snob fest and theres also gonna be a singing recital. Will you come? I don't think I'll survive without a pal.  
  
Zelda: Sure! My dad and Impa don't care, they're actually happier when I'm gone.  
  
Malon: Great! Come over at my house, 6:00, K?  
  
Zelda: Gotcha!  
  
END OF CHAPTER  
  
CC: What didja think? Nothing funny here, but does that really matter anymore? Most of my fans have probably stopped reading this by now! 


	16. Singing Recital Blues

The Zelda Characters go to School by Crazy Chick  
  
3. Singing Recital Blues  
  
A/N: Nothin much 2 say, except this is a singing recital chappy. Not totally boring, so don't worry.  
  
Talon: Malon, did you invite a friend for the recital?  
  
Malon: Yeah, I invited Zelda.  
  
Talon: You see, I had already arranged plans for Elle and Cerena Drummer to come over for a sleepover...  
  
Malon: No...that's OK. **hopefully they're more tolerable**  
  
Thankfully Malon's wish was granted. There was a knock at the door.  
  
Talon: *opens door* Hello, Elle! Hello Cerena!  
  
Lily AKA Malon's younger sister: Hi guys! *hugs them. They don't have Pokemon bags*  
  
Malon: Hey, what's up?  
  
Elle: Not much. So, we're not staying here in the house, I know that. So where are we going?  
  
Malon: The Temple of Time, of course!  
  
Talon: Malon, aren't you worried about this? I mean, it's OK to be ner-  
  
Malon: Don't worry, I've got loads of practice!  
  
Ingo: *comes down stairs* Obviously. All you do is sing, it drives me crazy!  
  
Talon: You kids can still do some stuff or go to the stables to ride Chippy and Epona, we still have half an hour!  
  
There is another knock on the door.  
  
Zelda: *walks in* Hi Malon! What song are you singing for the recital?  
  
Malon: Epona's Song and Zelda's Lulluby.  
  
Talon: *a bit later...* Time to go now!  
  
Malon: Actually...I do feel slightly nervous...but I'm a last minute nervous person.  
  
Everyone climbs onto the carriage, which takes them to the temple of time. After lots of singers, Malon is up. She does pretty good, actually. Lily went up to sing also, and she did OK. She sang the Minuet of Forest.  
  
Lily: *whispers to the girls* That kid who's singing right now is singing my song too! I hate him.  
  
Singing guy: *is singing Minuet of Forest*  
  
Malon: *looks at program* His name is Dale Shopping. Ooh, Lily has a crush on him! You guys would be the perfect couple!  
  
Lily: Shut up!  
  
Malon: He could give you pointers!  
  
Lily: Well...you'd be perfect with his older brother Aaron Shopping!  
  
Malon: Shut up, you little...uh, never mind.  
  
Lily: Too bad Aaron is an "upper classman". He's older and a level higher than you in singing.  
  
Malon: **Well, he doesn't look too bad...** *goes in carriage* Now I know why you weren't around much hanging around the snob fest! You were making out with Dale in the bathroom!  
  
Lily: You little freak! *start fighting each other, Malon is obviously better than Lily*  
  
Zelda/Cerena/Elle: Hahaha!  
  
Malon: See you Zel. Too bad you can't sleep over too.  
  
Zelda: Oh well. See ya!  
  
Elle: Guess what? We're moving closer to Hyrule, somewhere in Termina, so we'll be really close!  
  
Malon: Yay! **At least they've grown up a little! :)**  
  
After an exciting evening, the girls went to sleep.  
  
Malon: Lily, I saw you heading to the bathroom with Dale!  
  
Lily: Was not!  
  
Malon: Yes you were!  
  
Lily: No I wasn't!  
  
Malon: Yes you were! I know the truth so don't bother to deny it!  
  
END OF CHAPTER  
  
CC: I know, short and boring, but it was a sort of mini-chapter thing. 


	17. Living in Hell

The Zelda Characters go to School by Crazy Chick  
  
3. Living in Hell  
  
A/N: This chapter is just like any other one. Probably not funny, but since when has this story ever been? If anyone's even reading this, sorry about lack of updates. And, btw, Christmas has already past and it is near the end of January. Just so you know.  
  
Disclaimer: This is the 17th chapter, figure it out!  
  
ON THE LAST CHAPPY, MALON AND ZELDA GO TO A SINGING SNOB FEST AND LILY, MALON'S SISTER, HAS SHE BEEN MAKING OUT WITH A GUY THERE? FIND OUT! (not)  
  
King of Hyrule: Holy ratios!  
  
Zelda: How come you always "invent" something that has to do with math?  
  
King of Hyrule: Because it just-hey, how do you know it would have to do with math? Ratios could be a popular food, or a type of dance, or-  
  
Zelda: It was already invented by Kafei!  
  
King of Hyrule: Oh that little ba-I mean teacher.  
  
Zelda: Gottagobye! Hey, that doesn't seem right. Something this morning is missing...  
  
King of Hyrule: Things were different a millenium ago...hey, there IS something missing!  
  
Zelda/King of Hyrule: *in unison* IMPAAAAAAA!!!!!  
  
King of Hyrule: Oh well, time to watch some news! *turns on TV*  
  
TV: We will be back to the show "Why the King of Hyrule is the Suckiest king ever" on KOHS-KingOfHyruleSucks after this newsflash!!!!!  
  
Murderer, assulter, poisoner and the bodyguard of Bastard of Hyrule's daughter has escaped jail! We'd tracked her down at the castle of the dumbest king ever, but she spotted us and has escaped again! Keep your windows bolted, your doors shut/locked and your wits about you, because you'll need it! Suspect has been spotted around Lon Lon Ranch and Kakariko graveyard but she hasn't been caught yet! You will get 5 rupees if you catch her!  
  
We now return to "Why the King of Hyrule is the Suckiest king ever" on KOHS- KingOfHyruleSucks!!!!!  
  
Zelda: *sarcastically* 5 rupees, wow I'd want that...*is stunned and shocked suddenly* Omigosh, do you realize what just happened there????  
  
King of Hyrule: I know!  
  
Zelda: Can you believe it???  
  
King of Hyrule: I can't believe they actually called me the suckiest king ever!  
  
Zelda: The nerve of them!  
  
Some mysterious voice: Blondes...*sighs*  
  
Zelda: Who the fudge was that?????? Do you think its...  
  
King of Hyrule: *gasps* The killer...? *both father and daughter freak out when they see someone banging on the window*  
  
Zelda: Um, gotta go CYA! *runs away*  
  
Outside, Malon is already waiting for Zelda, even though Talon said Malon couldn't meet up with Zelda anymore.  
  
Zelda: Why are you here? I thought Talon-  
  
Malon: I know, but I was ready early and wanted to talk. Did you hear about the killer who escaped?  
  
Zelda: Yeah, I wonder who it is?  
  
Malon: You don't know?? Blondes...*sighs*  
  
Zelda: Did you happen to sneak into my house this morning?  
  
Malon: No...Anyway the killer is so obviously Impa!  
  
Zelda: Oh yeah! I'm so dense. *both walk off to school*  
  
PERIOD 1: HYLIAN  
  
Anju: I have nothing planned, so this is a free period! Just like social studies is! Now, um, socialize! Oh yeah, we have 2 new students! The first one is already here, the second one is coming soon.  
  
Zelda: I hope it's a hot guy!  
  
Malon: Me too!  
  
Dekurina: Ewwww!  
  
Saria: I'm over with you Dekurina! It had BETTER be a hot guy!  
  
Dekurina: Fine then, a hot Deku guy!  
  
Skull Kid: Is ThAt PoSsIbLe?  
  
Dekurina: Shut up, you little specist kinda guy!  
  
Link: I hope its a hot chick!  
  
Skull Kid: Me ToO!  
  
Justin: No girl would EVER go for you, SKD, so shut up!  
  
Tido: Uh, we didn't say anything.  
  
Zelda: O.o  
  
Anju: OK, her name is Marin Niram, so please make her welcome!  
  
Link: I remember Marin from Link's Awakening...  
  
Zelda: I'll finally know who this Marin girl is! And what is up with the palindrome names anyway?  
  
The new girl, Marin walks in. She has reddish kinda hair, so it's a little like Malon's, except lighter.  
  
Marin: Hi Link! Remember me?  
  
Link: Yeah...  
  
Anju: So anyway, lets continue with our, uh, socialization...  
  
After lotsa boring crap...  
  
PERIOD 2: SOCIAL STUDIES  
  
Nabooru: I have nothing worthy of doing for this class, but here's something fun! How about you go around and guess who everyone likes? Its fun, I swear! Heheheh...  
  
Zelda: Romani! You like Tido!  
  
Romani: Sick-o! Hey, Soda! Come over here!  
  
Sodo: Its Sodo, not Soda! What is it?  
  
Romani: Zelda here has a crush on you!  
  
Zelda: You sick horse, cucco, whatever!  
  
Romani: Huh?  
  
Zelda: Fine then. You like Skull Kid!  
  
Romani: AGHHHHHHHHH! I'm GoInG tO hAvE nIgHtMaReS!  
  
Zelda: Awww, you're even talking like him! How cute!  
  
Romani: Oops.  
  
Zelda: Fine, then. You like Ruto! Kidding. You like Jerry!  
  
Romani: Uh, I don't even know who the hell he is.  
  
Zelda: I got a pictograph of him drinking Lon Lon milk, but its not developed! Then you'll know who your lover is...hehe  
  
Romani: Unless he drinks Lon Lon milk like Link, then I don't actually care!  
  
PERIOD 3: GYM  
  
Terry: We've decided to end your torture, so you're only going to do a few more dance classes!!!!!! :D  
  
Saria: Hey guys! I transferred to this class!  
  
Zelda: Cool!  
  
Saria: But Dekurina transferred too.  
  
Malon: DEKURINA????? Hey, I actually got her name right!  
  
Romani: *runs up, arm linked with Marin* Hey guys lets link arms and do the can-can! Start with your right foot!  
  
Romani/Marin/Malon/Saria/Zelda: Can-can can you do the can-can-*Malon falls over and everyone else falls too*  
  
Terry: *runs in after a small break, Terence is in the gym office* Hey people! Lets get dancing and do that thing where you meet in the middle! Smart? I know!  
  
Most people switch spots with each other in the line so they get with the partners they wanted to get with. Zelda and Malon just got in line, they don't care...much. When they meet, Malon is with some kid named Dale Shopping(lol)...kidding! She's with Jim Bomber. Link is "mysteriously" paired up with the New Girl, Marin. Zelda's with "the hot guy"(see ch. 15)  
  
Malon: *mouths to Zelda because she's in front of her* Your partner is sooooooo hot!  
  
Zelda: *mouths back* I can't say the same for your partner!  
  
Malon: *starts laughing weirdly. Jim is looking at her weird*  
  
After that...  
  
Terry: OK, now you have to find a partner for the next dance.  
  
Marin gets asked by Mido Kokiri the second Terry is done speaking. Link asks Zelda and Malon is with Skull Kid. Saria is asked by Dodo.  
  
Malon: *mouths to Zelda, who is nearby* Your new partner is really hot too!  
  
Zelda: *mouths back* Your new partner, however, I can't say the same about.  
  
Malon: *starts laughing weirdly. Skull Kid gets distracted and starts stepping on Malon's toes*  
  
Terry: Now you have another partner dance! Lucky you!  
  
Link "mysteriously" ends up with Marin, Malon is asked by Sodo, Zelda is asked by "the hot guy". Guess what Malon and Zelda say to each other?  
  
After a lot of dancing, everyone heads to their Period 4 classes. Obviously.  
  
PERIOD 4: SCIENCE (for Zelda)  
  
Lab Dude: *walks-or should I say wheels-in on a wheelchair. He's strapped with bandages and casts* Hello class, have you met the new girl, Marin Niram?  
  
Everyone: Yes...  
  
Lab Dude: OK, so, Missy with Lance, Andrew with Kimberly, Samantha with Gloria, Rachel with Nancy, Linda with Serge, Tommy-  
  
Everyone: Huh?  
  
Lab Dude: Oh, it's NOT first period? You guys aren't in grade 6? Oh! Anyway, I'm arranging a new seating plan! Suze with Romani, Dekurina with Link, Jim with Fado, Josh and Joel, Sodo with Layla, Zelda with Marin, Ruto by herself.  
  
Marin: Sooooo...saw you dancing with the hot guy.  
  
Zelda: Apparently you were dancing with a hot guy also. Well, not Mido Kokiri...  
  
Marin: So THAT'S what the short guy's name is?  
  
Lab Dude: It is currently 12°C and 50°F...  
  
Marin: What is this guy's problem?  
  
Zelda: You'll get used to it.  
  
Lab Dude: I'll pour some water into a beaker and see how hot it is! Dekurina, could you please pour me a Dekalitre- [CC: A dekalitre, by the way, is a freakin lot for a beaker, I think LD's trying to piss her off]  
  
Dekurina: STOP IT! I HATE IT! MY NAME IS FREAKING DEKURINA! *is suddenly hushed* I said a bad word...  
  
Marin: You sure I'll get used to this?  
  
Zelda: I have...sorta...  
  
Layla: Have you seen Crossroads, Suze? Saria and Rayla have seen it, but the Deku Tree said I was too immature to watch it.  
  
Suze: I had to walk out because it was too inappropriate. Someone said 'heck' and my best friend said we had to leave. That was during the previews. She said that if previews were that inappropriate, just imagine the movie! Saria said she didn't like the part where Kit comes to see her boyfriend with Mimi where bad stuff happened in LA, which means Language Arts so that's weird and Saria thought I was weird but she is because she said LA is a place called Los Angeles in some foreign country and blablabla...  
  
Layla: Forget I asked...  
  
PERIOD 4: MATH (for Malon)  
  
[By the way, Saria skipped this period cuz it sucks. She's a lot different when Dekurina's not around, that's for sure!]  
  
Kafei: New seating plan! Malon sit with Rayla, Mido sit with Tido, Saria and Pamela, Tim and Skull Kid, Jerry and Justin, Dodo is all by his little self.  
  
Dodo: WHY MEEEEEEEEEE? I wanted to sit by Gloria or Rachel! Oops, they're in gr. 6, but still cute!  
  
Malon: Dodo, no girl would survive sitting by you.  
  
Pamela: If you care about them and their sanity, you wouldn't want them to sit by you.  
  
Everyone: OKKKKKKKKK...  
  
Some kid with black hair and a red cap walks in.  
  
Kafei: I guess this is the new kid, right?  
  
Some kid with black hair and a red cap: Yeah.  
  
Kafei: Um, please remove your cap. And, uh, what's your name again?  
  
SKWBHAARC: Chris Ash.  
  
Kafei: OK, everyone meet Chris Ash! Let's make him welcome! So Chris Ash, you can sit by the ugly guy in green clothes all by himself, his name's Dodo cuz he's a dodo, I guess. His marks are proof.  
  
Dodo: Thats not funny!  
  
Chris Ash: My name's Chris, my last name is Ash. And do I have to sit there?  
  
Kafei: I guess not, so lets make rows! Front row is Dodo, Justin, Jerry, Skull Kid and Tim. Back row is Malon, Rayla, Mido, Tido, Saria and Pamela. Squeeze in between Rayla and Mido if you can, OK?  
  
Chris: Sure, whatever. *sighs with relief when he passes Dodo*  
  
Kafei: And so you know, there's also an upcoming Valentine's Day dance/Suzanne Hawkins dance, girls ask guys, which is, uh, today after school. Sorry, the principal kinda sucks.  
  
Pamela: My best friend Suze Ann Orphan is famous?  
  
Kafei: No, its Suzanne Hawkins!  
  
Pamela: I don't see the difference...  
  
Jerry: Can I transfer to the other class?  
  
Kafei: Why, may I ask, Jim?  
  
Jerry: I'm Jerry! Anyway, just cuz of personal reasons...OK, I admit, I don't want to sit by Skull Kid!!!!  
  
Skull Kid: YoU'rE hUrTiNg My FeElInGs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 Hey where did the ones come from? I mean, HeY wHeRe DiD tHe OnEs CoMe FrOm?  
  
Everyone: Shut it SKD!  
  
Skull Kid: NoT fUnNy!  
  
Kafei: OK, we need to switch someone from the other class then... *runs into the Lab Dude's class, they have a small discussion, Kafei comes back with a student* OK, Sodo, you're sitting next to Skull Kid Du-I mean Skull Kid, Jerry, you're going to the other class. You sit by Layla.  
  
Jerry: Actually, I prefer to stay in th-  
  
Kafei: Shut up!  
  
Tido: Uh, we didn't say anything. Remember whe-  
  
Everyone: WE REMEMBER, TIDO!!!!!  
  
So the changes are made, and it is now...  
  
LUNCHTIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111 (HeY, wHeRe DiD tHe OnEs CoMe FrOm?)  
  
Rayla: *walks to Saria's locker* Hey, how come you weren't in math?  
  
Saria: Cuz I was, uh, some other place.  
  
Rayla: It is sooooo obvious you were skipping! Don't worry, I skip all the time!  
  
Saria: **How'd she know?**  
  
Romani: *passing a bunch of lockers* Hey Malon! Hey Zelda! *walks over* What's that in your locker Malon?  
  
Malon: Oh, that's a pictograph of Lily in a dumb gibdo mask and I'm giving her bunny ears and Talon's there and Ingo's taking the pic.  
  
Romani: Funny. See you guys in the caf! *so everyone goes to the cafeteria. Duh.*  
  
In the cafeteria...  
  
Romani: I'm now available, I was going out with a guy, but I dumped him. ;)  
  
Zelda: Really?  
  
Romani: Yeah...OK I ADMIT! He dumped me and it hurts so much! WAHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
Malon: I think Zelda mean't 'you were going out with someone'?  
  
Zelda: Yeah!  
  
Romani: Darn, ratted myself for nothing...anyway, I was with Joel, but now I'm not and I don't have a date for the dance!!!  
  
Zelda: What dance?  
  
Romani: Oh, they didn't tell you? Anyways, girls ask guys, cuz its a Suzanne Hawkins V-Day dance, which is today after school for 2 hours.  
  
Pamela: My best friend's famous?  
  
Romani: Screw off loser!  
  
Josh: Me and Link will be back, OK?  
  
Malon: Yeah sure!  
  
Rayla: I wish there were half-decent guys at our school, I mean seriously! Ugh!  
  
Saria: *whispers in case the 2 guys hear* There's still Link.  
  
Malon: He's impossible though!  
  
Saria: There's also the new kid...but we don't know if he's not as cool as he seems yet.  
  
Zelda: Why does Hyrule have to be so freakin uncivilized and filled with ugly guys!!! ARGH!!!!!!!  
  
Malon: That sounds like my fav saying: 'Guys are like parking lots. The good ones are taken and-' Oops I can't remember the rest.  
  
Dekurina: You guys are losing it over pathetic guys?  
  
Girls (including Saria): What's it to you Dekalina?  
  
Fado: Yeah Dekalitre...science is going to my head...  
  
I think you know what happens next...anyway guys come back and all's good...  
  
Some 6th grade kid (think ch. 10 people!): *talking to Zelda* Hey will you go out with me! *starts laughing*  
  
Zelda: **him again????** Hell no I'm too good for a dumb shit like you! *walks off to her next class which is...*  
  
PERIOD 5: ART (or is it?)  
  
Some grey-haired lady with pigtails and a black eye (actually two) trying to act young and preppy: Hi class! That fat dude Rauru is SOOOOOO totally outta here and I'm like teaching cosmetology! Isn't like that the totally great greatest?  
  
Guys: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!  
  
SG-HLWPAABE(AT)TTAYAP: Come on, we could all learn some totally great skin care lessons! My name is Apmi Aikuzus Okirakak!  
  
Zelda: You look like someone I know, and the name is somehow familiar...  
  
SG-HLWPAABE(AT)TTAYAP: *turns red* Uh, no I don't, like, ya know?????  
  
Zelda: Grey hair, looks like she has a black eye...terrible actor...  
  
Malon: My daddy!  
  
Zelda: Nooooo, it's IMPA!  
  
No one moves.  
  
Zelda: Do the descriptions of a murderer who taught foods and home ec who escaped jail come to mind?  
  
Everyone starts to spaz out and run all over the place except for Chris Ash...I mean Chris and Marin. Then they remember the news and start to spaz out too. Impa is knocked into a stove and starts a fire. Anju runs in and pours "Evian" then also spazzes out at the sight of an escaped murderer.  
  
Guards: *break down door* Apmi Aeekuzus Aoikiralkak, your under arrest!  
  
Impa: *sighs*  
  
Guards come in and take Impa away.  
  
Marin: Is every day this eventful?  
  
Link: Sadly, yes...  
  
Joel: OK, I am definitely going to transfer schools or at least moving back to Termina!  
  
Marin: I'm moving back to Koholint Island!  
  
Chris: I'm moving back to Holodrum!  
  
Link: I'm moving back to-oh no, I'm stuck here in Hyrule!!!!!!!!!  
  
Zelda: YOU? I'm the one who has her as a bodyguard!!!  
  
Malon: I feel sooooo sorry for you!  
  
Zelda: Oh my goddesses, she broke into the castle this morning! She's the one who was making fun of blondes!  
  
Link: Blondes rule!  
  
Malon: Blondes rule-wait a sec, I'm a redhead!  
  
Romani: Rednecks rule! Oops, I mean redheads!  
  
Nabooru and Ganon: *run in* Red hair rules!  
  
Rayla: Brunettes rule!  
  
Saria: Green hair rules! What, it's true!  
  
Kafei: *runs in* Indigo hair rules!  
  
Impa: *from other side of the door* Grey hair rules! *gets beat up by guards*  
  
Ruto: Bald blue heads that are shaped dementedly--*everyone looks at her weird* --rules. What?  
  
Jim: Bombers rule!  
  
Joel: No they don't! I'm quitting!  
  
Jerry: Me too!  
  
Justin: Me three!  
  
Josh: Me-wait a sec, I already quit!  
  
Malon: Way to change the subject Jim! Is that good or bad?  
  
PERIOD 6: SCIENCE (for Malon)  
  
Pamela: *in a forced, erm, 'flirty' voice* Hey Chris, have you ever heard of Christmas Island?  
  
Chris: Uh, no...  
  
Pamela: I wouldn't be surprised if they named it after such a cute guy like you...*sucks end of pencil trying to look hot, does not succeed*  
  
Chris: O.o  
  
Pamela: We could go to Christmas Island together...*giggle* But for now, wanna come to the Valentine's Day dance with me?  
  
Chris: Hold on a second. *turns to Rayla* Wanna go to the dance with me?  
  
Rayla: I thought girls were supposed to ask guys, but sure!  
  
Chris: OK. *turns to Pamela, speaks in a forced apologetic voice* I'm sorry, I'm already going with Rayla.  
  
Pamela: Awww, I was hoping...*runs with Dekurina who had been turned down by Jerry to the bathroom*  
  
Jerry: OK, I'm totally getting a name change! *marches into office proudly, turns on intercom*  
  
::ON INTERCOM::  
  
King Zora: What are y--*gag*  
  
Jerry: Shut it, fatty!  
  
::OFF INTERCOM::  
  
Tido: Uh, we didn't say anything. R-  
  
Malon: Give it up!  
  
::BACK ON INTERCOM::  
  
Jerry: Guess what? *stands there for twenty minutes. Everyone is waiting, and WAITING...and W.A.I.T.I.N.G...* Well, arentcha gonna say what? anyway, my momma gave me a permit to change me name! Off to Kakariko I go!  
  
King Zora: *strangled gags*  
  
Jerry: Ah quiet dumbass! [CC: I apologize KZ fans...]  
  
::OFF INTERCOM::  
  
Tido: Uh, we didn't say anything. Remember when we-  
  
Everyone ignores him.  
  
Mayor Dotour: *walks in* We are considering suspending Jerry for holding back class. Bye. *leaves class*  
  
Everyone: OK...  
  
The door suddenly is thrown open. Jerry walks in wearing a heavy leather jacket, shades and lots of necklaces. His hair is rock hard and spiky with an overload of blue gel (3/4 of the bottle at least) 4 punk guys are standing behind him, confused.  
  
Jerry: *sounding like he's punk or something* Hey, sup? I got a slammin new name, Jason to be exact. I'm with muh new pals, the Sums. (think Sum 41!) I'm Sum number 41. Cool neh?  
  
Deriyck: *mumbles in confusion* I don't think we're in Canada anymore...  
  
Stevo: Hey man your school sucks. So we're gonna walk back to Canada and be 'Still Waiting'.  
  
The 'Sums' go away. Duh.  
  
Jerry-I mean Jason: Hey guys, wait! Oh well, what am I gonna do with these junky leather threads?  
  
Dekurina: *walks in* *sniffs* Oh, hey Jerry, you reconsider yet?  
  
Jason: Shut up stupid wh-  
  
Pamela: Some of us are only in grade 3 ya know.  
  
Jason: You mean 'sum' of us! Anyway, Dekurina, ya don't even know my freakin name! Shut up and go ta hell!  
  
Dekurina: WAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *runs again*  
  
Tido: Uh, we-  
  
Everyone: Tido, WE FREAKIN KNOW ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
SKD: YeAh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111 HeY, wHeRe DiD tHe OnEs CoMe FrOm?  
  
PERIOD 6: MATH (for Zelda)  
  
Mayor Dotour: *walks in* We are considering suspending Jerry for holding back class. Bye. *leaves class*  
  
Everyone: OK...  
  
Romani: *whispers to Zelda* I've got a date for the dance! :)  
  
Zelda: Whoa, that was fast. Who is it?  
  
Romani: Jer-I mean Jason! He is really hot!  
  
Zelda: Uh huh...  
  
Romani: Well, now that he's quit the Bombers he looks different, ya know, kinda like Josh!  
  
Zelda: Oh, I haven't seen him yet!  
  
Kafei: Shut up children! (Thank the goddesses Tido's not in that class!)  
  
After lotsa boring review, period 6 ends.  
  
Malon: *runs past Zelda's locker*Hey, I hear there's a killer dance club down in Hyrule Market town! Wanna scope it out tonight?  
  
Zelda: OK, sure cuz it is Friday... I hope there's hot guys!  
  
Saria: AWWWWWW! I wanna come! I have Kokiri class then!  
  
Malon: Maybe next time...oh well, I'll come to your house Zelda!  
  
Zelda: Yeah, I could go there every night!  
  
Malon: Beats hangin with Impa...  
  
Zelda: Aw man, I forgot bout that.  
  
At Zelda's house...er, I mean castle...  
  
King of Hyrule: Guess what? Our school has a new employee!  
  
Zelda: OK...  
  
King of Hyrule: I'll let you meet him!  
  
Behind the door, you can hear the king urging the employee to come outside and the person is complaining. Finally the king comes in.  
  
King of Hyrule: Zelda, meet our new janitor...Ganondork-I mean dorf!  
  
Zelda: O.o  
  
Ganon: How embarrassing...who cares! Mr. King, I'm so honored to have this job!  
  
King of Hyrule: No prob. By the way, call me Humphrey.  
  
Zelda: **How come daddy never told ME his real name?**  
  
Ganon: guess what, my name is Humphrey too! [CC: If you've ever read me and Convex Kirby's story 'A Bad Fight with a Good Ending' b4 it got deleted, you'd know what I'm talking about.'] Humphrey Georgie 'Ganon' Din!  
  
[OPTIONAL SCENE: Cutout from Bad fight w/ good ending]  
  
"Get out of my face, asshole! And screw you!" Zelda yelled back. "I'm telling!" Saria yelled, then ran off. "Oh god," Zelda said. Under Ganon's Ruins. "Say what? That's how you escaped the dark realm? Cool," Link said. "Oh, beating those guys up was easy. After all, I am the Gr-uh oh, I think your friends ran off without you!" Ganon said. "Oh, shit. Say, can you give me a ride. Mr. Ganondorf?" Link asked. "Sure, and call me Humpfrey, my real name. Well, its really Humpfrey Georgie 'Ganon' Din! Just don't tell anyone that. Hop on!" Ganondorf.I mean 'Humpfrey' said. Ganondorf swished out of the ruins and then they went right by Malon. "STOP!" Link yelled. Ganondorf stopped. "This is my house! Stop! Let me in," Link said, and he hopped off. "G'bye, Link," Ganondorf said. "G'bye, Humpfrey *snicker*," Link said, then walked by Malon. "Don't make any wise cracks about that!" Ganondorf yelled, then threw a Deku Nut and disappeared.  
  
[END OF OPTIONAL SCENE]  
  
King of Hyrule: What a mouthful.  
  
Zelda: I'll say.  
  
King of Hyrule: Oh Zel, you're still here?  
  
Zelda: FINE THEN! Go be best friends with that fag, see if *I* care! *runs off to watch the movie Space Jam cuz she's bored to death*  
  
Impa: Aren't you supposed to be practising for the annual "Impa Suzukia Kakariko" spelling bee?  
  
Zelda: **I don't wanna do that! Gotta cover up before she stuffs me in the microwave...**  
  
Impa: I've been considering the freezer too.  
  
Zelda: AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Oh well, I, uh, I'm watching an educational movie!  
  
Impa: About basketball?  
  
Zelda: it has lots of spelling in it! *jumps to the part where the pig I forget his name suggests a spelling bee for the chance to defend themselves, cuz its a DVD*  
  
Impa: Yes, only that part. Where were u?  
  
Zelda: Riiiiiiiiiiiiight here...  
  
[Movie scene]  
  
Little red alien guy: We're the "Monstars"! M-O-N...uh...  
  
[end of movie scene]  
  
Zelda: O.o  
  
Impa: That's it little missy. Why don't you go join ganondorf aka mista ultra-hottie and the king in their tea party?  
  
Zelda: SICK! You like g-dork? He's a fag who has tea parties with my daddy!  
  
Impa: So whats it to you?  
  
Malon: *phones Zelda, dad answers phone*  
  
King of Hyrule: I'm sorry, Zelda can't answer the phone right now. She is practising for the spelling bee and I am in the middle of talking to the new janitor named Ganondorf over tea, after all it is 4:00! Impa is drooling over G-dorf right now, so you can't talk to her either. Either I can put our dog on or you can call later.  
  
Malon: *over phone* I'll call, uh, never again, thanks. *hangs up* **Zelda in a spelling bee? An escaped murderer drooling over the evilest guy in the world, who happens to be a janitor having tea with the king? I'd better get Zelda out of that freak show, and fast!**  
  
END OF CHAPTER  
  
CC: Stay tuned for the nightclub! Uh, all 4 now...and PLEASE REVIEW! I don't care if it's a flame, I seriously honestly really need reviews or I am going to cry...uh, bye... 


	18. The Nightclub!

The Zelda Characters go to School by Crazy Chick  
  
18. The Nightclub!!!!!!  
  
A/N: If this is not funny, sorry, but PLEASE REVIEW! I DON'T CARE IF IT'S A FLAME, ID ACTUALLY APPRECIATE ANYTHING EVEN IF U WRITE 1 REVIEW PER CHAPPY I DON'T CARE JUST PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok thats done...  
  
Disclaimer: This is my last offer for Navi-in-a-bottles! We've run out of raurus, besides they can't fit...anyway my name is shigeru miyamoto and I DO own Zelda so ha!  
  
Me: He has issues...  
  
Disclaimer: Well I know where I got it from! *gives evil look*  
  
ON THE LAST CHAPPY, THERE ARE 2 NEW KIDS ON THE SAME DAY (SUSPICIOUS IF YA ASK ME WHICH UR NOT) AND THERE IS A SUZE ANN ORPHAN-I MEAN SUZANNE HAWKINS DAY DANCE AND ROMANI IS DUMPED AND GETS A NEW BF IN THE SAME DAY AND WE'RE HEADING OFF TO A NIGHTCLUB AND THIS YELLING IS MAKING ME SICK AND HOW DO U TURN THE CAPS LOCK OFF?????  
  
sum random person: You, uh, press the button that says 'Caps Lock'.  
  
Me: OH COOLIES! *presses capslock* Ok on wit da show!!!!!! :) wut can I say I like smilies...  
  
reader: oh shut up and get on with it!  
  
[Woah, this story is 90 pages, verdana size 10, not including this chappy! YIKES!]  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
King of Hyrule: Holy ad-  
  
Zelda: Uh dad, it's not morning yet.  
  
King of Hyrule: Then why is there a new chapter? Huh? HUH?  
  
Zelda: Cuz im going to a nightclub and you're too old and shriveled up so why don't you go invite Ganondork the janitor for another cup of tea???  
  
King of Hyrule: That would be a splendid idea if it were 4:00...  
  
Zelda: Why are you acting so formal anyway? Like who cares when ya have tea, not like anybody's gonna kill you!  
  
Impa: Hey, are you trying to ruin my rep? By the way mister king, here is your totally un-poisoned coffee since I know how much you like to have un- poisoned tea at four and it's not poisoned so you can drink it see can you see any poison?  
  
Zelda: I gotta go...*whispers to dad* By the way, I think you should chuck that coffee cuz Impa's definitely poisoned it.  
  
King of Hyrule: But she said it wasn't poisoned! I sent you to a school to get smart! Retard. *drinks coffee, chokes and dies. Zelda gives him a fairy and quickly leaves*  
  
In Hyrule Market Town...  
  
Some guard: Heading out for a night on the town, eh Zelda?  
  
Zelda: Yeah! Have you seen a red-haired girl around here?  
  
Some guard: Yeah, she claimed to be your best friend and for being a liar we put her in the torture chamber and she'll never leave! MWAHAHAHA!  
  
Zelda: That IS my best friend you idiot! I'm putting you in the torture chamber!  
  
Some guard: Cool! Uh, what's a torture chamber? I just sent her there cuz the other guards did that when someone robbed a bank or something and it's the cool thing to do!  
  
Zelda: you're about to find out veeeeeery soon... *takes some guard to the torture chamber, rescues Malon. won't go into detail*  
  
Malon: whoa, thanks! I was almost killed in that freakish place!  
  
Zelda: No prob. So where are we going anyway?  
  
Malon: I kinda think you know...  
  
There are a lot of buildings, most of them dark. Theres a few with dim lights on, but one with ultra-loud blasting music and bright neon lights.  
  
Zelda: I know! *leads malon off to the treasure chest/key game with no people inside*  
  
Malon: Blondes...*sighs*  
  
Zelda: *talks to bored clerk* This is the nightclub, right?  
  
Clerk: Are you kidding me? They've made me bankrupt! But you can play a chest game for only 10 rupees.  
  
Zelda: Oh coolies! Can we Malon? Please please please please please please????  
  
Malon: Fine, only if I get to unlock the first chest.  
  
Clerk: Here ya go! *gives a key*  
  
Inside the first room, Malon uses her hidden pair of Lens of Truth and picks the wrong one.  
  
Malon: Oops! I guess we should go now...  
  
Zelda: Me too! This is boring...  
  
So off they go to nightclub. Duh.  
  
Zelda: Think there's people here we know?  
  
Malon: For sure! Tonight is the second night it's been open!  
  
Some guard #2: hey minors aren't allowed here.  
  
Malon: *lowers pitch of voice* ah no, I'm 21! My friend here is uh...also 21!  
  
Some guard #2: You expect me to believe that? And by the way, that's still a minor age.  
  
Zelda: what is the age then?  
  
Some guard #2: erm...about a hundred or so. I can't remember.  
  
Zelda: For goddesses sake this is the medival times! Ya first get on this planet if ya know whut I mean, then ya die at 30! Like duh!  
  
Malon: We came to a nightclub, not a senior residents' home!  
  
Some guard#2: Shure, whatever. I think you're mixing us up with the building next door.  
  
Surely enought, next door has three buildings with booming loud music and the flashing neon lights.  
  
Zelda: Oops, wrong again!  
  
So they go to the REAL nightclub. And meet up with another dumb guard.  
  
Some guard #3: Minors aren't allowed here.  
  
Malon: *lowers pitch of tone again* we aint minas!  
  
Some guard #3: Oh puh-leez is that the best ya got? I've seen betta and I've caught em all! Cept for one guy who kept saying he was a midget, his name was Elliott! [CC: hey scrappydoo aka dani I featured ur guy in this and I don't even know him! By the way if you do read this story please review! THIS APPLIES FOR EVERYONE]  
  
Zelda: Uh, Elliott IS a midget!  
  
Some guard #3: That's what they all say...anyway there is a second building for younger kiddies like you tots! Now scoot!  
  
So they go to the second, even louder building.  
  
Some guard#4: M-  
  
Zelda: Oh what now???  
  
Some guard #4: Majors aren't allowed here!  
  
Zelda: We're just 10 year old kids! We'd be glad to go to the other building if we weren't so young!  
  
Some guard #4: This place is only for 2-9 year olds! I suggest you go next door...  
  
Malon: Yeah right! *looks inside building they were going to enter. It's blaring music-from the Barney soundtrack, and little boys and girls are doing the Chicken dance. A Barney mascot is running around inside* Uh, never mind.  
  
So FINALLY they go next door again.  
  
Some guard #5: minors aren't allo-  
  
Malon: Shut it loser cant we get in already?  
  
Some guard #5: Will you please be quiet little girl im talking on my cell phone with a 1 year old who's trying to get in the club! *eventually finishes call* How old are you kids?  
  
No response.  
  
Some guard #5: I'm talking to you guys!  
  
Zelda: Oh you're off your call! Well I'm 10 and so is my pal.  
  
Some guard #5: Oh ok I'd let ya in if the club wasn't full.  
  
Zelda: Dang!  
  
Fortunately, Pamela and Suze leave the building complaining about the loud music and how some kids were saying 'crap' [CC: I mean saying the word crap, not saying crappy stuff].  
  
Some guard #5: You're in.  
  
Malon/Zelda: YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! *run inside before the two people behind them can get in*  
  
Zelda: Wow there's games too?  
  
Malon: Yep! So when you get tired of dancing you can do other stuff! Theres another room with rides.  
  
Zelda: Sweet!  
  
Suddenly they see Jason running to the bathroom, pale and looking like he's going to puke.  
  
Romani: Hey Malon! Hey Zelda! Have you seen my boyfriend Jer-I mean Jason anywhere?  
  
Zelda: Yeah, he ran to the bathroom and he looked like he needed to puke.  
  
Romani: I'll wait. This isn't the first time he's puked after the roller coaster and he's really fast. Catchya later!  
  
Malon: Bye!  
  
Zelda: OK, that was weird. Hey, is that Link?  
  
Malon: No clue, lets find out!  
  
It turns out that they did see Link.  
  
Link: Hey girls!  
  
Malon: Hey! Who are you here with?  
  
Link: It's me and all the other former Bombers, except for Jim because he's the only bomber and Jer-I mean Jason who's going out with Romani.  
  
Zelda: OK...  
  
Malon: Hey look our other friends are out on the dance floor! Lets join them!  
  
There is Saria, Link, Rayla, Tim Bomber (also former bomber-he joined then quit in a full minute), Jerry-I mean Jason, Joel, Justin, Josh, Romani (see, Jason does recover quick) and Skull kId even though he's a loser. After lots of dancing, riding, and lots of passed time...  
  
Malon: I think we should go now, I'm exhausted!  
  
Zelda: Oh come on, just one more game?  
  
Malon: Oh please, WE SPENT MOST OF OUR TIME AT THE GAMES! IF I EVER SEE ONE MORE TICKET OR HEAR 'You Lose" AGAIN I'LL SCREAM! Besides, we don't have any quarters left.  
  
Zelda: Hey, is that a 10 rupee bill I see hanging out of your pocket!  
  
Malon: *turns red* Noooo...  
  
Zelda: Aw fine I can take a hint lets go.  
  
Malon: A hint? Just one solitary hint? Do you have any idea how many hours I tried to get you away from that Cops in LA game?  
  
Zelda: It was actually the Austin Powers game, you spent an hour-half that time at Cops in LA. Besides, all you wanted to do was dance!  
  
Malon: Whateva!  
  
Marin: *talking to her friends from assumingly Koholint Island, notices Malon and Zelda* Hey you're those guys from my new school! Did you hear?  
  
Zelda: Hear what?  
  
Marin: I was telling these guys about the school dance that was supposed to be today and how it was supposed to be so totally awesome! Too bad it had to be rescheduled cuz it was set at a crappy time plus the author crazy chick kinda sucks at posting chapters and by the time she had finished 'Living in Hell' it was like waaaaaaaaaaaaaay after V-day-well not waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay after but about a month or so. Its rescheduled for another week or so and it's for no reason! Isn't that cool!  
  
Crazy Chick AKA me: Are you dissing my story posting, er, talents?  
  
Marin: Yes.  
  
Malon: Yay!  
  
Zelda: Are there gonna be any games at the dance?  
  
Marin: I think not.  
  
Zelda: Darn!  
  
Marin: I can't keep these guys waiting. See ya! *goes off*  
  
Malon: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! YESYESYESYESyesyesyesyesyesdouthinklink'sgonnabethere?  
  
Zelda: Woah, slow down sista.  
  
Malon: Welldoya?  
  
Zelda: I sense a crush coming on here...and yes I do think so. Did he come to the other ones?  
  
Malon: No clue.  
  
Jer-Jason: YESSSSSSS! Its playing my favorite Sum41 song! 'Don't Believe it all!'  
  
Zelda: Isn't that a Treble Charger song?  
  
Malon: You don't even know the songs of a band you used to 'belong' to!  
  
Jason: Uh...I knew that! Still, I like this song! And my REAL favorite Sum41 is, uh, 'Still Eating'.  
  
Zelda: Isn't it 'Still Waiting'?  
  
Malon: Ditto.  
  
Jason: Fine then! Why don't YOU guys join the band?!?!? Anyways I'm looking for Romani it's playing my fav song! *song just ends* Awww, that sucks.  
  
Saria: Hey has anyone seen Justin? I'm gonna ask him to dance!  
  
Some police officer guy: Everybody out!  
  
Zelda: You didn't tell me this was some illegal rave!  
  
Malon: Shut up and run for it!  
  
In the shack next door with the lil kiddies...  
  
Some police officer guy: Everybody out! You too Barney!  
  
Finally everyone (except Barney who has to show up at court for questioning) is outside.  
  
Malon: Hey I never knew that my Holodrum boyfriend was here!  
  
Zelda: Whos that?  
  
Malon: Onox.  
  
Zelda: O.o  
  
Malon: Kidding retard! There aint even any hot 10 year old guys in Holodrum!  
  
Zelda: That's true. Besides, we'll save this stuff for the dance coming up. See ya!  
  
Malon: See ya.  
  
Zelda heads home. Doy. (sorry I ripped this word off you jenn even though I doubt ur even reading this)  
  
Zelda: Hi daddy!  
  
King of Hyrule: Ya well at least I have sum pants made of paper in the back of my brain yaw  
  
Zelda: do I even wanna know?  
  
Impa: He had some of my herbal medicine.  
  
Zelda: How could you! Thats almost as bad as poison!  
  
King of Hyrule: Mommy? Is that you? or is that octopuses dancing in the kindergartens of my brain?  
  
Suddenly a motorcycle rides right through the big picture window and runs over Impa.  
  
Zelda: Woah, thanks motorcycle person!  
  
Motorcycle person: *hops off bike, its...*  
  
King of Hyrule: *finally recovered* Ganondorf?  
  
Ganon: Yeah, I am the janitor, right?  
  
Zelda: Yeah so?  
  
Ganon: I'm just doing my clean-up job. *winks* see ya kiddies! *rides off*  
  
Zelda: Finally someone cleaned up the biggest mess around here!  
  
Suddenly, a fairy flies out of Zelda's pocket to...guess who?  
  
Impa: Somebody's in big trouble around here! *gives king another herbal med pill*  
  
Zelda: Yuh-oh...  
  
King of Hyrule: Fruit roll-ups are gameboys in my skater prom picture!  
  
Impa: Shut it, kingface.  
  
King of Hyrule: Is it hot in here, or is it just you, hon? *winks*  
  
Impa: Yuck...  
  
END OF CHAPTER  
  
CC: Yes I know its retarded and I'M SORRY! I didn't give you the good details on the club but this chappy's getting long-sorry! Now this story is 97 pages-yikes! I'm going now, cya! 


	19. SPRING BREAK! Day 1Day 2

The Zelda Characters go to School by Crazy Chick  
  
19. SPRING BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAY 1/DAY 2  
  
A/N: I skipped the dance cuz it's not the best chapter in the world but if you STILL wanna here about it here it is in simpler form: Zelda managed to get everyone except herself someone to dance with (even Skull Kid and Pamela!) and it was really boring and the number of guys got lower and lower and soon there were almost no guys to dance with so it sucked. I also hired a laugh track. [LAUGH TRACK PEEPS START CHEERING]  
  
PLEASE REVIEW AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE WELL DON'T BE CHEAP AND PRESS THE SUBMIT REVIEW BUTTON AS FAST AS YOU CAN FOR A LONG TIME SO THE REVIEW SHOWS UP A THOUSAND TIMES BUT I'M DESPERATE THERE ARE MORE CHAPTERS THAN REVIEWS I THINK! Thanx ~_^ [LAUGH TRACK PEEPS SEND IN THEIR REVIEWS *hint hint*]  
  
Disclaimer: Sorry, Navi-in-a-bottle is sold out but now we're giving away Links! I know all you chicks out there want em...  
  
A bunch of girls: YAY! LINK IN A BOTTLE! [LAUGH TRACK PEEPS SCRAMBLE FOR SOME LINKS-IN-A-BOTTLE]  
  
Link: Can someone get me out of here? *tries and fails to break bottle* [LAUGH TRACK PEEPS START LAUGHING]  
  
Disclaimer: oh yeah I don't own Zelda HEY SARIA ya gotta pay for that!  
  
Saria: Too bad! *shoots a fireball at him, disclaimer is sent to the hospital* [LAUGH TRACK PEEPS SAY "Awwww..."!]  
  
ON THE LAST CHAPTA EVERYONE GOES TO A KICKIN NIGHTCLUB IN TOWN THATS REALLY COOL BUT MALON AND ZELDA SPEND MORE TIME TRYING TO GET TO THE CLUB THAN ACTUALLY BEING THERE AND ZELDA IS OBSESSED WITH AUSTIN POWERS® AND COPS IN LA AND THE CLUB IS BUSTED AND BARNEY® IS HELD FOR QUESTIONING. EASY ENOUGH... [LAUGH TRACK PEEPS APPLAUD LIKE CRAZY]  
  
[Now this story is...HOLY GODDESSES AND DEAD BUT CONSTIPATED CHATEAU ROMANI COWS! ITS 98 PAGES LONG!!!!!!!!] [LAUGH TRACK PEEPS GASP]  
  
Sorry L/M peeps if you don't like this chapter. Don't take it seriously because Link is just gonna dump M-oops, too much info...  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
King of Hyrule: Holy algebra!  
  
Zelda: It is-  
  
King of Hyrule: ya ya I know already Kafei made it up. [LAUGH TRACK PEEPS LAUGH. Duh]  
  
Zelda: No well actually it is but what I was going to say is that its SPRING BREAK!!!!!!!!!! [LAUGH TRACK PEEPS START CHEERING]  
  
[CC: I gotta inturrupt for a sec--[LAUGH TRACK PEEPS START CHEERING AGAIN] OK CAN YOU SHUT UP FOR A SECOND???  
  
Laugh track peeps: OK. *you can hear crickets chirping*  
  
CC: OK whatever this chapter is gonna be different, we're going to make it logbook style for the **important** characters and see what they're doing!] [LAUGH TRACK PEEPS CLAP]  
  
CC: I meant shut up! Anyway lets get on with it!  
  
Zelda: DAY 1  
  
06:58~Woke up, played Zelda64.  
  
08:00~Got bored, played on Gamecube instead.  
  
10:15~Got bored of Zelda games, played Mario Sunshine instead.  
  
10:18~Impa offered Zelda some cooked particles of Barney (he was executed yesterday-please apologise to your Barney-crazed younger sibs ppl reading this for me) Zelda told Impa to screw off while Zelda was playing MS.  
  
10:20~Impa grounds Zelda, who doesn't notice.  
  
12:00 (on the dot)~Zelda turns off the game and makes herself a well prepared, fancy delicacy of a lunch AKA putting a Pizza pop in the microwave for a minute.  
  
13:00~Zelda finishes and starts to play SSBM. Link comes over and they play as themselves against each other.  
  
16:00~Ganondork comes over for a tea party, Zelda takes a walk in disgust.  
  
16:58~Zelda finishes her walk, comes back home, prepares another traditional Hylian fine delecacy (Macaroni and Cheese--tosses the Gorman cheese powder) She also logs onto MSN and gets included in a convo with Je- I mean Jason, Romani, Link and Marin.  
  
18:00~Zelda gets back to her game.  
  
23:00~Finally gives in to Impa and the King bugging Zelda to quit the game, she would anyway because she already beat it.  
  
Malon: DAY 1  
  
08:00~Talon wakes up Malon to do her chores.  
  
08:05~Protests by saying "Just one more teeny second..." and goes back to sleep for "one more teeny second..."  
  
09:00~Lily pours a bucket of water on Malon's head and kicks her out of bed. Malon heads down to do her chores.  
  
10:00~Finishes milking cows, cleaning up the stables, feeding chickens, and cleaning up her room. Goes outside to sing.  
  
10:15~Link comes over to buy some milk--first (and only) customer of the day. Since Malon is so excited, she forgets the milk, goes back to get it, and accidentally smashes the milk container, ruining the past 2 weeks' effort.  
  
10:52~Malon finally gets another cup of milk, but Link already played Epona's song in front of a cow and got some milk. Malon starts to cry.  
  
10:55~Talon tries to work his "there's no use crying over spilt milk" speech which does not work.  
  
11:15~Malon calms down, takes out her journal and writes ten pages of why Link is great.  
  
11:50~Malon writes 20 pages of why Lily sucks, plus doodles and writes "Link is hot" and "I luv Link" all over her journal.  
  
13:14~Lily finds the 20 pages of why Lily sucks, tells on Malon and ends up grounding Malon. Malon goes out to the corral and starts to sing.  
  
23:55~Malon finishes singing and finally decides to get some sleep.  
  
Link: DAY 1  
  
10:05~Is woken up by Saria chucking rocks at him through the window.  
  
10:06~Remembers he has to buy some milk.  
  
10:15~Link goes to Lon Lon Ranch to buy some milk. Malon is acting extra- clumsy and is giving Link a weird side-glance look. Since Malon is so excited, she forgets the milk, goes back to get it, and accidentally smashes the milk container, ruining the past 2 weeks' effort.  
  
10:51~Link gets bored of waiting so he plays Epona's song in front of a cow and buys some milk. Then he leaves just as Malon brings out some milk.  
  
11:00~Link, Saria, Rayla and Tido vandalise Mido's house in boredom.  
  
11:40~Mido returns home, sees his house and starts to cry.  
  
12:00~The Kokiri community gets together for lunch with the Deku Tree Sprout and Link scarfs down lunch, hoping to sneak in some time to play on Zelda's Gamecube before G-Dork comes over for tea. (Zelda likes to share her 'dramatic life' with everyone at school)  
  
13:00~Link and Zelda play SSBM against each other.  
  
15:55~Link leaves before G-Dork can come over for tea.  
  
16:15~Link goes on Hylian MSN, checks his e-mail and talks with Jer--I mean Jason on MSN. Romani is invited into the conversation.  
  
16:58~Marin logs on. Link adds Marin to the conversation (they're still talking) and Zelda logs on. She's also added to the convo.  
  
17:18~Link asks Marin out and Zelda says that Malon will be heartbroken and Link says 'tough rats for her' and stuff.  
  
18:00~Zelda says she has "uh...important royal business to do". Link is convinced she left to play Mario Sunshine.  
  
19:00~Everyone FINALLY logs off.  
  
20:00~Saria and Link sneak into Mido's house (where he is currently sleeping) and play numerous pranks on him. Mido, however, is completely clueless and still cooperatively sleeping.  
  
23:00~Link goes to sleep himself.  
  
Romani/Jason: DAY 1  
  
10:02:07:22~Romani and Jason wake up at the same time, call each other, realize they woke up at the same time and are convinced they are meant for each other.  
  
11:15~Both eat breakfast and Jason invites Romani over.  
  
11:37~Jason cancels plans when he finds out that Mayor Dotour and his stuffy parent's friends are coming over, so Romani invites Jason over instead.  
  
13:00~Jason makes it over and is interrogated by Cremia.  
  
14:00~Cremia finally stops asking Jason questions and lets him see Romani. She thinks Jason stood him up. Jason explains after a while.  
  
14:35~Both get bored and decide to catch a movie at the theatre in Clock Town.  
  
16:00~The movie ends, Jason's parents spot Jason in Clock town and demand he stay with the guests. Romani and Jason decide to talk on Hylian MSN as soon as possible.  
  
16:15~Link is also on MSN, so Jason and Link talk. A minute later Romani is on so they all talk together.  
  
16:58~Marin logs on. Link adds Marin to the conversation (they're still talking) and Zelda logs on too. They all talk together in one convo.  
  
17:18~Link asks Marin out and Zelda says that Malon will be heartbroken and Link says 'tough rats for her' and stuff. Romani remembers Joel but doesn't tell Jason about that.  
  
18:00~Zelda says she has "uh...important royal business to do". Link is convinced she left to play Mario Sunshine. Romani and Jason don't believe she'd be a traitor to Zelda games but they were wrong.  
  
19:00~Everyone FINALLY logs off.  
  
19:20~Jason sneaks out and over to Romani's again (Cremia is called out for work biz), but his parents find out, call him and he is sent back home. He is also grounded for the next day. (big "Oh crap" huh) Cremia comes back when Jason is about to leave and also grounds Romani.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Mido: DAY 2  
  
09:00~Mido wakes up and screams for a full 10 minutes. Saria and Link are secretly snickering.  
  
09:11~Mido takes a shower in an attempt to wash everything off (remember Saria and Link's pranks?)  
  
22:00~Mido finally gets out of the shower, not everything is washed off yet. Mido calls up the 3C's and 1S (Cremia's Cleaning Community Service) Cremia comes over and refuses to do the job because it is too hard. Mido bribes her with money and the room is eventually spotless.  
  
22:22~Mido steps outside, and sees prank pictures of him all over Kokiri forest. Everyone points and laughs at him, so Mido runs back inside. From that day forward, he was an official insomniac.  
  
Zelda: DAY 2  
  
04:58~Zelda wakes up and runs to Gamecube. Starts to play a Gamecube version of Cops in LA the King bought her yesterday.  
  
09:00~King of Hyrule wakes up and yells "Holy fractions!" but Zelda is too involved in her game to notice.  
  
18:00~Video game systems there were, uh, solar-powered. The sun starts to set and Zelda's game is shut off. She swears for a full 15 minutes and Impa overhears. She gets pissed--because Zelda just beat Impa's world voluntary swearing record.  
  
18:15~The press rush over to Zelda's house. "What do you have to say for yourself?" some media person asks. Zelda says "!%*@" and everyone is pleased and goes home.  
  
18:17~Since computers aren't solar powered, she goes onto MSN again. She talks with Jason and Romani who were talking since 7 in the morning cuz they're grounded and have nothing better to do(they woke up again at the same time and thought they were meant for each other, yet again)  
  
18:20~Jason and Romani log off because Cremia and Jason's mom came in at the same time and made a big speech about "not being part of the family" and kicked them off. Zelda, having no one else to talk to also logs off and returns to Cops in LA.  
  
19:15~The phone rings and Impa answers it. Its for Zelda, but she's too obsessed over Cops in LA. Impa starts to beat her up, so Zelda starts swearing and knocks Impa unconcious. By the time Zelda picks up the phone, the person has hung up.  
  
Malon: DAY 2 (this is almost the same as Day 1)  
  
08:00~Talon wakes up Malon to do her chores again.  
  
08:05~Protests by saying "Just one more teeny second..." and goes back to sleep for "one more teeny second..." ya right  
  
09:00~Lily pours a bucket of ice cold water (from the Ice Cave of course!) on Malon's head and shoves her out of bed. Malon heads down to do her chores.  
  
10:00~Finishes milking cows, cleaning up the stables, feeding chickens, and cleaning up her room. Goes outside to sing again.  
  
10:17~Link comes over to buy some milk--first (and only) customer of the day. He says "make it fast" Malon tries not to be clumsy and she isn't, but when she gets the milk she hears another voice and is sure it's a girl's. Malon starts to cry.  
  
10:20~Talon tries to work his "there's no use crying over spilt milk" speech but it doesn't work cuz Malon spilt no milk.  
  
11:11~Malon calms down, takes out her journal and writes a thousand pages of why she isn't good enough for Link.  
  
11:52~Malon writes 72 pages of why Talon sucks, and scribbles "I hate Marin" around all the "I luv Links" (she thinks that was the girl's voice)  
  
13:18~Lily finds 71 pages of why Talon sucks (one was a bunch of repeats), tells on Malon and Talon gets really not pissed off but happy because it displays his faults so he can turn over a new leaf and do the opposite things of the list. (It never works though. The time he tried on OoT didn't work either) Malon goes out to the corral and starts to sing.  
  
23:52~Malon finishes singing and finally decides to get some sleep. She writes "I hate Marin" a few more times and goes to sleep.  
  
Link/Marin: DAY 2  
  
09:10~Link and Marin were going to spend the day together, so Link checks to see if he looks OK and stuff and goes to meet Marin in the Hyrule Market Town. They play lots of rounds of Bombchu bowling, the chest game and arrow shooting game. They also go to the pool (which is the moat, only recently enlarged)  
  
10:17~Link and Marin are exhausted so they decide to get some milk at Lon Lon Ranch. Link says "make it fast" Malon tries not to be clumsy and she isn't, but when she gets the milk Marin says something and Link tells her to keep her voice down but Malon must have heard because she got a weird expression on her face.  
  
10:20~They tour Hyrule in total boredom.  
  
13:00~They get lunch at the most chic restaraunt in Termina--the Latte (what can I say, Termina restaraunts suck) Marin tries the milk and spits it out in disgust. Since Link is almost broke, he buys lots of Gorman milk and is eventually "drunk as a skunk" in King of Hyrule terms.  
  
14:00~Link finds his secret stash of pot in the Latte and smokes it. Marin is still disgusted.  
  
15:00~Link starts getting off his high just as Jim Bomber runs in and announces that the Stock Pot Inn used to be under construction and now the cafeteria is open again. Marin happily dashes off with Jim Bomber. Link hears the 'Pot' in 'Stock Pot Inn' and smokes some more.  
  
16:00~Jim and Marin are done eating, Marin spends the rest of the day with Jim.  
  
18:17~Link is finally back to normal and asked Mr. Barten where Marin was, when Mr. Barten replies that she 'ran off someplace with nice little Mr. Bomber#1'. Link swears for a full 16 minutes and news spreads around faster than with Zelda. Zelda doesn't notice since she's so into Cops in LA.  
  
18:34~The press rush in and ask if Link has anything to say. He responds the same way Zelda did.  
  
19:00~Link goes home and decides to call a different girl up since Marin ran off with Jim Bomber. He considers Malon, but remembers her freakish stalker behavior. (once he came over for a school project with Malon and while she was in the outhouse, noticed her journal...) Ruto? Same as Malon. Saria? Nah, she's a best friend type, not a girlfriend type. Fado? Loser! Rayla? What chance does he have with her? Layla? Freak! Suze? Annoying little kid. Dekurina? Geeky! Pamela? Same as Suze. Romani? No way, not with this big Romani/Jason thing going on. Zelda? They're second best friends, but its better than that flirt Marin.  
  
19:15~Link calls Zelda, Impa answers and tries to get Zelda to talk, but she's too obsessed with Cops In LA. After a minute or so, Link hears a bunch of fighting and swearing, so he hangs up. He sits there, staring at his hands.  
  
22:00~Finally decides to go to sleep. He sees Mido climbing up the ladder of the treehouse. He locks and bolts all doors and windows. Mido is screaming his head off, so Saria comes and slaps him silly. Mido is unconcious the entire night.  
  
END OF CHAPTER  
  
CC: Lame, huh? Oh yeah, I don't play any characters during the Spring Break chapters. I'm not anti-social like Zelda, or spend the entire day with someone like Romani, Jason, Link or Marin. I'm not an obsessed stalker freak like Malon. Oh yeah, I'm not a loser like Mido either. Is this a stupid chapter! I know! Theres a few more coming up. I like to talk. Did you notice that? I have tons more things to say, like if you don't know what to say, you can say 'Supercalafragalistikexpialidocious' (think Mary Poppins people!) super-cala-fraga-listik-expi-ali-do-shus [LAUGH TRACK PEEPS START BOOING ME AND YELLING 'GET OFF THE STAGE!']  
  
CC: Fine then, I will! *um, gets off stage. Wait, what stage?*  
  
oh yeah, REVIEWS PUHLEEZ! I NEED THEM! GOOD REVIEWS! CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISISM! FLAMES! I DONT CARE I JUST NEED EM! 


	20. THE FINALE! Finally this storys gonna en...

The Zelda Characters go to School by Crazy Chick  
  
20. THE FINALE!!!!!!! Finally this storys gonna end soon  
  
A/N: When was the last time I posted? A billion years ago? Probably...ok I got nuthin 2 say so enjoy the FINALE! Actualy its not the real finale of the STORY, just of SCHOOL. but dont worry this story will end soon.  
  
~*I don't like the spring break chapters they're too hard. If you like them then do this-reread chapter 19 2.5 more times-thats what their spring break would be like!*~  
  
Disclaimer: I dont own Zelda. But I do own me!  
  
Some annoying person: Umm, DUH!  
  
Disclaimer: no, me is this here lil pudgy fella!  
  
Mario: Hi! Its-a me-  
  
Disclaimer: See? His name is me!  
  
Mario: I didn't-a get to finish-a! My real name is, uh-  
  
Disclaimer: Uh? That is such a cool name! Will you be my best friend, uh?  
  
Mario: OK, CC is definitely losing her funny touch and flexing her demented muscles.  
  
Disclaimer: I'm demented?  
  
Crazy Chick: I really HAVE lost my touch! I'm gonna go into depression like the science teacher. :''''(  
  
LAST CHAPPY WAS, UMM, *cough*springbreak*cough* ITS BEEN YEARS! Ok bye 4 now  
  
PS Mister Bonbon is my alter-ego!!!!!!!!!!! dontmakefunofmelungwidge  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
OF COURSE it is the last day of school (in the morning)  
  
King of Hyrule: *flips on KOHS* Holy mister bonbon!  
  
Zelda: Uh-  
  
Disclaimer: Uh? Where is my buddy ol pal?  
  
Crazy Chick: Go away!  
  
King of Hyrule: I know, I know. Its already been made up.  
  
Zelda: Of course! I mean, uh-  
  
Disclaimer: Wher-  
  
Crazy Chick: GO AWAY!!!!!!!!  
  
Zelda: I mean, umm, whats a mister bonbon?  
  
King of Hyrule: FINALLY! I HAVE ACHIEVED AN ORIGINAL WORK OF ART!  
  
Some pizza delivery dude who looks like Apu from the Simpsons: Somevun call a MEESTA BONBON? *remember him, convex kirbz?*  
  
Outside is a pizza delivery truck with the words MISTER BONBON's PIZZERIA painted out on it.  
  
Zelda: Finaly, the pizza's here! No offense to Impa's cooking or anything...*coughnotcough*  
  
Impa: I heard that!  
  
King of Hyrule: NOOOOOOO! I will never be an original!  
  
Zelda: Who cares, lets eat! *runs to kitchen*  
  
King of Hyrule: OK, I give up. So whats up? *holds out hand to shake*  
  
Mister Bonbon: *grabs hand and shakes it madly* Meesta Bonbon!  
  
King of Hyrule: Lets try this again. So whats up? *holds out hand to shake*  
  
Mister Bonbon: *grabs hand and shakes it madly* Meesta Bonbon!  
  
King of Hyrule: *growls angrily* OK LETS TRY THIS AGAIN. SO WHATS UP YA FAG?  
  
Mister Bonbon: *looks agitated and depressed* Dontmakefunofmelungwidge.  
  
King of Hyrule: *yells* Zelda, what does that mean?  
  
Zelda: *yells back* I think he said 'Don't make fun of my language'. I think he means 'accent' but whatever.  
  
King of Hyrule: OK, my daughter will pay for the pizza.  
  
Mister Bonbon: SPLEENDEED!  
  
King of Hyrule: Cash, cheque or credit?  
  
Mister Bonbon: MEESTA BONBON!  
  
King of Hyrule: Uh, I said cash, cheque or credit?  
  
Mister Bonbon: How might ya be payink me?  
  
Disclaimer: Where's me?  
  
KOH: Uh...  
  
Disclaimer: I mean, wheres uh?  
  
Zelda: Up ur butt and around the corner.  
  
Disclaimer: Gee, thanks! Hang on a second, I think I might be needing to use the bathroom. *walks off*  
  
King of Hyrule: Umm, I dont know how to pay you. Cash, cheque or credit?  
  
Mister Bonbon: Spleendeed!  
  
King of Hyrule: OK OK! I'LL JUST USE CASH!!!!!!!!!  
  
Mister Bonbon: Dontmakefunofmelungwidge.  
  
King of Hyrule: OK, how much is the cost?  
  
Mister Bonbon: How might ya be payink me?  
  
King of Hyrule: How much is it?  
  
Mister Bonbon: *takes out calculator* Tventeh ruppeez.  
  
King of Hyrule: ZELDA?  
  
Zelda: Twenty ruppees.  
  
King of Hyrule: I know that! You need to pay though.  
  
Zelda: Ah fine. *brings twenty ruppees*  
  
King of Hyrule: Take it and go. And please, remind me not to buy Mister Bonbon's Pizza anymore.  
  
Mista Bonbon: *grins happily* MEESTA BONBON! *thinks hard for a second* Dontmakefunofmelungwidge.  
  
King of Hyrule: Go away!  
  
Mista Bonbon: AH SHADDAP! *starts muttering in Terminian*  
  
Zelda: That went well. Lets eat now!  
  
King of Hyrule: You're going to be late for school!  
  
Zelda: I thought it was dinnertime! What's in those herbal pills Impa gave me earlier?  
  
Impa hides a guilty face.  
  
Zelda: *suddenly snaps back to reality* Oh yeah! I'm gonna be late and I haven't even changed or brushed my hair/teeth yet or practised some dance stretches or shaved or put on my make-up or taken a shower or-  
  
King of Hyrule: I get it! So why don't I give you the science lab dude's newest invention-flashback!  
  
Zelda: How does it work?  
  
King of Hyrule: Ya just flash back using the basic buttons. The advanced buttons require security only officials can access. You know, just so the whole world of time doesnt spin into turmoil.  
  
Zelda: Uh, sure. *flashes back an hour or so when she wakes up and gets ready ultra-fast, then, umm, goes to school*  
  
AT SCHOOL...  
  
Malon: Today is gonna be the best! But we have to empty my lockers and I dont think I can fit everything in my messenger bag.  
  
Zelda: Yeah, SO?  
  
Romani: *runs up* What are we doing today?  
  
Zelda: We're emptying our lockers and going to the dance after.  
  
Romani runs off when she sees Jason to help him clean out his ant infested locker thanks to his locker partner Skull Kid.  
  
Malon: I can't believe we're gonna be in grade six next year!  
  
Zelda: That is SO weird.  
  
Malon: I have to take the bus today since the carriage is taken in for repairs in the market town and the other one can't hold up my ultra-huge backpack.  
  
Zelda: Yeah, me too. My dad has to go sue KOHS after what he refers to as 'blasphemy'. He thinks he made up the word. Like 'mister bonbon'.  
  
Malon: They have the BEST pizza!  
  
Zelda: I know! Better than Impa's food. So, do you still like Link?  
  
Malon: Yeah, but I've noticed lots of ultra-hot guys in grade six, maybe they wont waste my time.  
  
Zelda: Yeah. Personally I like the "hot guy" still, but not a lot.  
  
Malon: Really? He's in one of my clubs and I sorta like him too but I didn't think you'd care.  
  
Zelda: Maybe you should dance with him.  
  
Malon: Sure.  
  
Zelda: Oh yeah for some reason I seriously like Justin Bomber-  
  
malon: So does Saria.  
  
Zelda: I know. But we haven't been in many classes together since he had to transfer after the suspension he was given with the rest of the bombers (look at chapter 7. They got suspended for that little 'skipping' part)  
  
Malon: Well there is Hylian...  
  
Zelda: I know, but stupid Anju keeps the girls on one side and the guys on the other during 'socialization' plus we have to silent read half the time.  
  
Malon: He takes the bus you know...  
  
Zelda: Oh well...  
  
After some locker clean-up, on to the dance. Here it is in short form:  
  
It got cut short because it was getting crappy and the DJ sucked and plus it started pretty early and everyone had to say bye and crap so earlier Zelda wanted to dance with "the hot guy" but he had to go 'vacationing' early (yeah right) and Malon finally gets to dance with Link because Marin dumped him earlier that day and Link was in depression for 5 minutes but he got better cuz Marin ended up with Joel and Romani and jason danced the whole time (poor dekurina ;P) Skull Kid just crashed the party and so did the rest of the bombers and Jason occasionally (during an undanceable song or one he hated) and it was like a mosh pit but then Anju had to ruin it but Nabooru took over for Anju and let them continue (she even joined in) and Zelda chickened out on dancing with Justin and Marin danced with him and Zelda got mad and it was all fun and sad and stuff.  
  
AT THE BUS STOP...  
  
Ingo: *rides up in a carriage* This is rental for now, so you don't have to take that dingy bus.  
  
Malon: Ah fine. See ya Zel.  
  
Zelda: Call me!  
  
Rayla: *walks to the bus stop* Are you taking the bus?  
  
Zelda: Yeah. I dont think anyone's taking this one but the next one.  
  
Rayla: I think, umm, Josh, Fado, SKD, Justin and Jason are taking the bus. Plus a bunch of sixth graders I hate. Jason couldn't go with Romani because Cremia was picking her up today.  
  
Zelda: Oh ok.  
  
Finally, the bus comes. Basically everyone except for SKD took a spot in the back. Rayla ditches Zelda for a second but she continues talking with Josh and Fado. Justin and Jason are talking, but since nothing better's going on they're kind of listening in. Then the bus ride ends and Zelda goes. Duh.  
  
At the castle...  
  
Zelda: I'm depressed.  
  
Impa: Take one of my herbal med pills.  
  
Zelda: Sure, they're almost as good as getting high.  
  
Impa: Actually, it technically is.  
  
Zelda: Oh, I get it! They're 'herbal'!  
  
Impa:Don't tell the King!  
  
Zelda: I wont! *takes the pill and immediately feels better* Confident gossip- resistant sensitive Hollywood cheaters stalk Craig David and Justin Timberlake!  
  
Impa: Yep, its working! ^_^  
  
King of Hyrule: I just heard what you said mista cow fudge...  
  
Impa: **oh boy**  
  
King of Hyrule: And I must say I will marry you! If its ok with the confident gossip resistant sensitive hollywood cheaters that stalk Craig David and Justin Timberlake who are octopuses dancing in the kindergartens of my brain! Skaters are the gameboys in my prom picture or something!  
  
Impa: Did you give the king a pill, Zelda?  
  
Zelda: uh, I thought they were his cough drops-  
  
Impa: OK you're grounded!  
  
Zelda: No way!  
  
Impa: And you cant come with us to Termina!  
  
Zelda: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
Impa: Either that or write a reflection journal.  
  
Zelda: This aint school!  
  
Impa: OK. Goodbye vacation-  
  
Zelda: OK! I'll do it. ;'(  
  
Zelda's Journal july the somethingth/some year ACE or AD, whatever  
  
Uh, i dont know what to write. Pink and purple are my favorite colors. Malon is my best friend. I like cucco burgers--just not from McCuccos or Cucco King :P icky I have the hots for Link and Justin Bomber and I used to like Jerry when he was Jerry but Romani hogs all the hot guys. I cant believe i sat with Rayla on the bus. I mean, shes ok but still. uh, eww! Well, not eww but still she's kinda mean. She's like Marin, whos also sort of OK...who also hogs the guys i like. this is the most depressing journal ever i bet. impas making me right won or no vacation. i sorta hate her. oh like did i tell you about this freakin awesome outfit im gonna by? this isnt like the other ones cuz theres this cool pink tank with glitter and these Tarin Hilfiger jeans and these freakin awesome boots im gonna get at honeys. I think they were just released in Termina. When I get there, Termina had better watch out. Malls, here i come!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 HeY, wHeRe DiD tHe OnEs CoMe FrOm??? -your blonde princess (literally) Zellie  
  
Impa: Done yet?  
  
Zelda: Yeah. I dont know what to write. And I have crappy spelling  
  
Impa: Why not right about how you got the triforce and the plans that ganondorf could have used to steal it and plans ganon can use with an, er, accomplice can do to get the triforce. Oh yeah can you share it cuz I-I mean others like that really cool sub at your school Apmi could use a bit more smartness!  
  
Zelda: Yeah, umm, thanks. Are you going to read my journal thingie?  
  
Impa: Why of course!...not. I was joking! Really, I was. Cant you tell I'm joking?  
  
Zelda: I think you need a pill (gives Impa one)  
  
Impa: Facial toners and girls named Carol eat jelly at PacSun with Sally Hansen and DKNY jackets.  
  
King of Hyrule: Thats a good un! Heres mine: Kelly Rowland eats vegetable thins on A Nightmare on KingofHyruleSucks TV shows with Ralph Lauren and Wet Seal jackets.  
  
Zelda: Heres mine: You guys are retards!  
  
King/Impa: ...  
  
Zelda: Arent ya gonna say something?  
  
King of Hyrule: I am very disappointed.  
  
Impa: you're a disgrace to our Hylian culture.  
  
King of Hyrule: You deserve to be in the torture chamber for that.  
  
Impa: Or better yet, the Impa Suzukia Kakariko spelling bee.  
  
King of Hyrule: Do you know why you should endure these punishments?  
  
Zelda: Cuz I called you a r-  
  
King of Hyrule: That phrase was the most uncreative thing since that Britney Spears movie.  
  
Impa: totally!  
  
King of Hyrule: I'm going to make you write a journal.  
  
Zelda: I already am!  
  
King of Hyrule: Then no vacation!  
  
Zelda: How about I give you a new phrase?  
  
King of Hyrule: Speak, my child.  
  
Zelda: *grabs candy box* Enter the Wild World of Wonka?  
  
KOH: No.  
  
Zelda: Because you're worth it?  
  
KOH: No.  
  
Zelda: Maybe its Maybelline?  
  
KOH: No.  
  
Zelda: Easy breezy beautiful cover girl?  
  
KOH: NO. I mean, uh, no.  
  
Zelda: Because we're worth it too?  
  
KOH: You already said that.  
  
Zelda: No, I said 'because you're worth-  
  
KOH: I dont care.  
  
Zelda: Lets see: Gwen Stefani doesnt paint her nails in Wet Shine Diamond Nail Polish in Jewels 'N Berries while using Pantene hair care products like Nike Goddesses even though her best friends are John Frieda and Old Navy and Gap jackets? [CC: Do you have any idea how long it took to make that up?]  
  
KOH: Thats the worst one yet!  
  
Zelda: Hows about 'the true flavor of friendship'?  
  
KOH: I love it! I dated Bonne once  
  
Zelda: Bonne?  
  
KOH: Where do you think Bonne is from? Well, she dumped me because she decided to pursue a career in the, uh, food department. Thats all she said.  
  
Some voice through door: Speyshal deliveray!  
  
King of Hyrule: I'll get it. Must be that gosh darned pizza place dude.  
  
Some voice through door: Hurry up, its getting cold!  
  
King of Hyrule: I didn't order anything! *throws open door*  
  
Some chick who resembles Mister Bonbon: I ordered something for you.  
  
King of Hyrule: How much?  
  
Some chick who resembles Mister Bonbon: *talks like Enrique from Legally Blonde* Only the love in your heart.  
  
King of Hyrule: Bonne!!!!!! *hugging scene*  
  
Bonne: Meesta Bonbon to you!  
  
King of Hyrule: I thought you were a guy!  
  
Bonne: I pretended to be one since this 14somethings society doesnt allow gals to run pizza palaces!  
  
King of hyrule: well now your back!  
  
Zelda: Are you saying she'll be my new mom? Umm, eww!  
  
King of Hyrule: How dare you insult Bonne!  
  
Zelda: No, I said ooooh! Bonne can make me free lipgloss!  
  
King of Hyrule: There is only one way. Pop one of these, Bon.  
  
So Bonne takes a pill. Yup, a herbal pill.  
  
Bonne: Rimmel mascara is Tara Reid's favorite armpit moisturizer by Neutrogena, like, umm, Jennifer Lopez and her favorite Gap Kids and HotKiss jackets.  
  
King of Hyrule: Welcome to the family!  
  
Uh, I dont know how to end this so, umm, bye  
  
End of CHAPTER  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ah whatever  
  
WILL the pill-popping ever stop. WILL Bonne OD (we're just making predictions, people!) WILL I post a special edition chappy? (the answer is yes) WILL this story stop seeming like a reality TV show and WILL this story ever end? Find out!  
  
Lotsa luvin, CC ;P 


	21. THE LAST CHAPTER! ooh, its a special edi...

The Zelda Characters go to School by Crazy Chick  
  
22. Special Edition Chapter-ooh its a mystery! ^_^  
  
A/N: Whats up ppl? It doesnt matter cuz I dont really care (jk yall! *cough*not*cough*)Now, this is a special edition mystery story-hehe  
  
If you think this is good or not, please send in a review! Or just send in a review for the fun of it! Please dont leave without reviewing, I seriously desperately need them!  
  
Disclaimer: Now's your last chance to buy a link-in-a-bottle so anyway I don't own zelda...hey how about zelda-in-a-bottle? Then I can say "I DO own Zelda!" MWHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!  
  
IN THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER MEESTA BONBON IS REALLY A CHICK WHO IS THE KING OF HYRULE'S EX AND I WOULD LIKE SOME 'HERBAL' PILLS AND THIS IS THE REAL LAST CHAPTER!!!!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Now on to our special edition mystery chapter...WHO KILLED THE PRINCESS? (dun dun duuuuuuuuuun!)  
  
King of Hyrule: Holy angles!  
  
Impa: Holy angels?  
  
King of Hyrule: No, holy angles! They're cool! And they're angles!  
  
Impa: No duh Sherlock.  
  
King of Hyrule: Hey Zelda's asleep, can you go wake her up for me?  
  
Impa: Sure thing. *walks into Zelda's room* Hey Zelda wake--*gasp!*  
  
The bedsheets were all messed up and the window was open.  
  
Impa: *looks outside window, see's Zelda dead below* Oh no! WHO KILLED THE PRINCESS? (dun dun duuuuuuuuuun!)  
  
Yup, the princess had to be dead for sure. How could she have jumped out the window and survived?  
  
King of Hyrule: I heard you screaming Impa. What's up?  
  
Impa: The princess is dead! WHO KILLED THE PRINCESS? (dun dun duuuuuuuuuun!)  
  
King of Hyrule: The princess is dead? WHO KILLED THE PRINCESS? (dun dun duuuuuuuuuun!)  
  
Impa: Oh darn, now those baked fish brains must go to waste...*sighs*  
  
King of Hyrule: That's all you can think about right now? WHO KILLED THE PRINCESS? (dun dun duuuuuuuuuun!) I demand to get to the bottom of this!  
  
So the king threw off his heavy mink robe, and picked up a trenchcoat which was conveniently there at the time. The king put on a nice big hat, grabbed a magnifying glass, and headed out. He ignored Impa who was crying over a plate of overly cooked fish brains.  
  
*Now, where to first?* the king thought to himself. *Maybe Malon, Zelda's best friend knows something about this,* he thought, and walked off to Lon Lon Ranch. Then he realized he walked all the way here without one of his royal horses. Malon offers one but the king runs back to the castle, gets a horse and rides back to the ranch. The King decided to try his 'unsuspicious' act and see if she'd let out some information willingly.  
  
"So Mallie-pallie," the King said, using his old nickname for her. Malon just rolled her eyes. "Whats up, Kingpin?" Malon asked, using her nickname for the king. "What's been going on with you and Zelda lately?" the king asked, then regretted it when he saw Malon's face start to turn red with fury.  
"I was just minding my own business one day when Zelda came over," Malon said, looking like she might burst out crying any second. She doodled hearts around a messily written name on cucco print paper and scratched at others furiously. "She told me-about on MSN-but I bet that you already know the rest. You know how it is with gossip," Malon said, then burst out crying. "Um, no I don't," the king said cluelessly. "Um, sure. So she told me what Link said on MSN when her and Link and Marin were on MSN," Malon said through stifled sobs. "So you're getting mad about what Zelda told you what Link said?" the King asked, a little messed up about the whole sitch. "Yeah, she had TOTALLY no right to tell me what Link said, though I guess I happened to be overreacting," Malon said, trying to defend Link. "OK, then." The king rode his horse away from the ranch. "I'd definitely make her a suspect," the King said out loud, and avoided weird glares from passerbys. Then he saw Romani and Jason, two of the school's students, who were yelling at each other. "I've been so out of it, might as well let myself in on some more gossip," the king tried to say chic-ly, ignoring more weird glares.  
  
"I can't believe you let that whore talk you into all that shit!" Romani yelled, trying to make a scene. "I have no idea what you're talking about, that did NOT happen," Jason tried to say calmly, though you could tell he was worried. "What tis up with all of the squabbling, dismay, hue and cry, din, and all that other baloney?" the King tried to say cooly, which did not work. "This bitch at school tried to hit on my guy," Romani said protectively. "I don't know what you're talking about! Even if someone actually tried to flirt, you're being much too possessive." "So you're calling me possessive when you nearly had a heart attack about me talking with Link?" "That was different." "Was not!" "Who is this girl you're yelling about anyway?" the King interrupted. 69. "That stupid excuse for a princess Zelda," Romani said, stomping her  
foot. "Thanks for talking, I'll be off now," the king said slowly riding off. The king had no idea whether or not to add Romani to the list of suspects. Besides, she was probably trying to add to the preteen drama of everyone's life and wouldn't mean half the stuff she said. Everyone forgot about that stuff in a day anyhow. "I bet the principal would know the real scoop on these middle-schoolers. Well, Pamela and Suze aren't middle schoolers, but are qualified." The king rambled on all the way to Zora's Domain, avoiding more weird glances.  
  
The King was surprised to see Ruto chucking pots at the wall. "This is about Zelda, right?" the king said. "Yup, and that lame-o 'royal' family. Royal family my butt, King of Hyrule!" Ruto screamed, chucking a pot at a voodoo doll of the king. The King winced as he felt a splitting pain in his back. Lol Ruto could clearly not tell the King of Hyrule was this person here wearing a tacky trenchcoat Zelda would never allow the king to step out of the house wearing. But Zelda was dead, right? "*I'm* worthy of their fancy riches! *I'm* worthy to gain the money and respect of all the peoples in Hyrule!" Ruto yelled. "Um, peoples?" "Hey, daddy says that. Anyway, I'm still a princess and the daughter of the principal, and I'm still a lowly commoner! I needed revenge on the family, and now might be my chance! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!" "OK, I'll be going now..." The king was very disturbed indeed. "This search sucks. I'm goin home," the king said to himself, ignoring weird glares yet again.  
  
"Finally, my little child is dead, and I hardly did anything! I've finally accomplished the goal of the Island Cannibals®, incorporated! Yep, I am an island cannibal, I was born in Koholint, despite the Kakariko rumors," a familiar voice cackled evilly. "Impa," the King of Hyrule murmured under his breath. "Oh kinglyface, I just finished dinner!" Impa said, plastering on a preppy voice she used for Apmi Aoikiralkak...I mean Okirakak. "Please tell me its not Zelda..." the King said under his breath. "Oh, she's still on the veranda, where she fell, thats tomorrow's dinner-I mean, what were you saying?" Impa said. Then the side of the wall crumbled to pieces in a matter of seconds, and Ganondorf blasted in.  
  
"Give me the Triforce, or the princess dies," Ganondorf said, trying to act cool. "Um sorry, she's already dead. You're invited to the funeral, however..." the King said. "The princess? DEAD???? WHO KILLED THE PRINCESS? (dun dun duuuuuuuuuun!)" Ganondorf cried out, then started to cry. Literally. Then Malon ran in. "I'm sooooo sorry for accusing Zelda of any of that stuff. I talked to Link, he said that Zelda just happened to be there and was defending me, and him and Marin broke up anyway." Malon started to cry and noticed Ganondorf crying. She normally would have cracked up, taken a pictograph and blackmailed him, but now was not the time for that. They cried together as Romani walked in, dragging Jason behind. "Zelda wasn't the one flirting," Romani admitted. "It was that little slut, Fado," she corrected. "Hey, no talking behind a pupil's back." "Pupil? And why is everyone crying?" "Because they meanly accused Zelda, hint hint, and now she's dead!" the king cried out. "Zelda? Dead? WHO KILLED THE PRINCESS? (dun dun duuuuuuuuuun!)" Romani cried out. "I never got to apologise about making fun of her best friend," Jason said.  
  
"When was that?" "Never, I just made it up so I can fit in and start crying." "Well, you're welcome to cry your eyes out!" So everyone started crying and the entire castle floors were covered in one mm of tears (and the castle covers quite a bit of surface area!) then Ruto, all washed up as usual (double meaning, hehe! ^_^) came in and added to the mess. "Give me all your money, mister king! MWHAHAHAHAHA!" Ruto yelled. "Huh?" Everyone said. "I said, give me all ur money, dumbos!" "Not you, there's a person behind you!"  
  
Zelda: *casually walks in* Hi peeps, what's up? Is anyone in the shower cuz I kinda need to wash my hair.  
  
Everyone: WTF??????!?!?!?!?!?  
  
King of Hyrule: Now now dears, no need for foul langu-ZELDA??????!?!?!?!? WTF!!!!  
  
Ruto: Speak for your self freak.  
  
King of Hyrule: Speak for yourself you fishy freak!  
  
Ruto: Speak for yourself you fish lookalike wannabe!  
  
King of Hyrule: At least I don't stalk a guy who hates my guts!  
  
Malon: Fish guts...um, eww?  
  
Ruto: You people are so hurtful! WAAAAAAAAH! :'''''''( yuckie  
  
Zelda: Why is everyone so freaked out about me? Do I have something on my face or something?  
  
Impa: Nah, we just thought you were dead.  
  
Zelda: When I fell out of that tree trying to escape school and I realized it was Saturday and I fell out of the tree and was knocked unconcious??? LOL! ^_^*  
  
Reader: Man this mystery sucks. *highly considers reading another story*  
  
Malon: NOOOOOO! Um, um, um...supercalafragalistikexpialidocious, even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious, uh, I forgot the rest.  
  
Everyone: WTF?  
  
Malon: I had to babysit Tijo.  
  
Zelda: But he's a grown man!  
  
Malon: Not like 'baby'-sitting...  
  
Romani: The drummer of my favorite band is a druggie?  
  
Malon: No, I don't think...I mean he aint a baby!  
  
Everyone: Ohhhhhh!  
  
Zelda: What about the song?  
  
Malon: Mary Poppins. Hes like obsessed with that movie. [CC: In case you're confused, it has to do with another Zelda fic I made up but didn't post cuz it, um, sucks...]  
  
Zelda: EWWW! My designer shoes are being ruined by all this water!  
  
Ganondorf: I guess we cried a little much, huh? *Zelda gives him a weird look* I mean, um, THEY cried a lot, but I'm a REAL man! *chucks a deku nut and disappears*  
  
Ok, before I end this chapter, I want to make a poll, and please vote! (another excuse to review...HINT HINT)  
  
Should I make a sequel to this story?  
  
FB) No way, this story is crap! FC) Definitely! I'll never live without my fanfic fix! FD) Sure, y not. (this is the same as B) FE) *in a weird accent voice*Ah don like em. DONT ASK! (this is the same as  
A)  
  
Thanx 4 ya help, luv yall! ^_^ :)  
  
BYE BYE EVERYBODY! I DONT CARE WHAT YOU VOTE FOR, BECAUSE I'M MAKING A SEQUEL ANYWAY! (but vote, if it means your gonna review) HAVE FUN! BYE! LUV YALL  
  
-a story by crazy chick 


End file.
